Is it rude to inspect a mans penis to look for signs of infection or warts if he wont use a condom.?

Question

We have dated for over 7 months and this will be the first time making love. He knows I can't get pregnate because I told him about my hysterectomy so he would like to be able to "feel it better"without a condom. He swears he hasn't been with a women for over 16 months since his divorce. Should I ask him to go get a check-up for AIDS and other types of VD or would that be rude ? I want to be able to relax and not worry cuz if my mind is on that I wont be able to reach a orgasm. What would you do?

Answer 1

Taking care of your health is never "rude". Inspecting a penis doesn't mean anything, you can't always see something. It is more "rude" of him to not respect your wishes to wear a condom. As a woman don't be pressured out of guilt, or want to be so agreeable and easy going that you put your own health at risk.

Answer 2

An inspection does sound like a mood killer, but more importantly you won't be able to tell if he has an STD like AIDS or even herpes just by looking. In this day and age it is not uncommon for couples to be tested before becoming intimate. If you've been seeing each other for 7 months and have not made love you must have spent quality time building a relationship where you can talk to each other. Since pregnancy won't be a concern just tell him that you would like for both of you to be tested for any possible diseases so that your relationship can move to the next level without either of you having any reservations.

Answer 3

I would ask him to get a check-up and to provide you with a copy of all the results. Rude or not, it is YOUR health, your life, your body.

I would not be doing any "inspection". Leave that to the professionals.

It's rude of him, IMO, to expect you to have unprotected sex on his word and his word alone that he is "clean". Aside from HIV, there are many other STD's that can have virtually no symptoms and so it doesn't matter how long it's been since he's been with another woman. He could be a "carrier". He could have the herpes virus lying dormant and not know it.

It's awkward but if he cares about you he will go along with it, and if I were you I'd offer to do the same, so that you are both starting out together with a "clean slate" so to speak.

Answer 4

STDs can lie dormant for years without symptoms. An std check doesnt always give clear answers either for instance, you cant check for aids until it develops, almost everyone has some form of the herpes virus, and most women have HPV although it doesnt show up as an STD. Yeah it would be rude to ask if you trust him, but make him use a condom if you feel uncomfortable. If he cant accept that oh well...

Answer 5

First of all ,If you're going to take a step a like that, THEN you should defenitley ask him to get a check up for STD'S.There is nothing wrong with you being cautious about your safety.You're giving your body to this man ,so you have every right to ask him his status of his well-being.

Just know that you're not excluded from the expectations.The guy has a right to ask you as well, and if he has to get checked,then you should too .It works both ways.You both should go take tests together and possibly prove to eachother the final results.Then in the end you both are not at risk.It is better to be safe than sorry.

Answer 6

Sweetheart, it's potentially your life you are risking here if he is HIV+

Is there *any* question that is too embarassing or rude to ask that is worth dying over?

If he can't understand this, he's not worth the gift of your body. A suggestion: make a date out of going to the STD clinic together. It doesn't hurt to get a clean bill of health for yourself too, and fair's fair - if he gets tested, why shouldn't you? Bear in mind that STD's like HPV and herpes can sit dormant for months or years, so just because neither of you show symptoms it doesn't necessarily follow that you're not infected. Only one way to be sure, and it can be a good way to add strength and commitment to the relationship.

Answer 7

My advice is get tested along with him because why does he have to be the "dirty" one... Do you have a guilty conscience? Are you worried that your past sexual experiences have left you with a disease-filled vagina?

Also, what if after he agrees to the testing and you and him begin to know each other in the biblical sense and he can't make you have an orgasm? Will that be 7 months down the drain?

Answer 8

If he doesn't think enough of you to want you to feel at ease and all he is thinking about is how it will feel for him I'd tell him to hit the bricks! Your life isn't worth taking chances with. He sounds like one of those kind of guys that will tell you anything to get what he wants. Do you know what he's been doing about sex for the past 7 months that he hasn't been getting it from you?

Answer 9

A. Not rude to check his penis for warts etc.
B. No glove no love.
C. If his refuses to wear a condom then absolutely. A check-up for both of you(so he knows your serious) with STI test and you guys share results with another.

Answer 10

NO IT IS NOT RUDE YOU GOT TO LOOK OUT FOR YOUR SELF i would get him tested you have to protect yourself and go together so it wont make him feel so bad then you can find out weather he does or not bc herbies does not always show up so i would get him tested so your mind can be at ease and go together like said and get tested together so he wont be mad or upset and it will make him feel better and tell him the reason you just want to make sure he is clean and you can say you are too cause i am sure you are just tell him you figured get both tested together so no one feels bad about it.
GOOD LUCK