What should I do about my ring bearer situation??

Question

so my fiance and I have a 22 month old boy- who we wanted to be the ring bearer but i thought about him not walking down the aisle (rather running around) and he wouldnt be able to stand through it, so the flower girl would stand alone- and he would have to sit with grandma- but then he would see us and cry- (he always whines when he sees us kiss or anything) SO- I asked my friend if her little brother could do it (9yrs. old) But my fiance REALLY wants our son to do it! but i am afraid he will cry and whine and ruin the mood and flow of everything, and we have a singer during the ceremony, which he could interrupt which would be rude. We originally planned to give him a lollipop and sit him towards the back, in case he acted up- someone could remove him and take him to the parking lot, my fiance thinks no one else should do this but our son.... what do i do??!!??

Answer 1

I think you should get your friends little brother to be the ring bearer's bearer. Have him walk down with your son, tell him where they should stand, etc. Tell him also if your boy acts up to take him off to the side. Have an adult near there so if that happens they can administer a pep talk, and then the boys can come back out. I think that the other boy can be your boys friend for the day. The older boy can be the distraction and model. That way your boy can be who he should be in the wedding, and since it is a long and boring things for young ones, there is a way to difuse the situation of acting up, with out having a big scene. It will give him a break and a pal. Just be sure to keep talking to him about how you need him to behave for the wedding.

Answer 2

I hate to break it to you, but your son is too young to understand the situation. My son was almost 3 when he was the ring bearer in my sisters wedding (I was the maid of honor, so I couldn't exactly contain him). I am not saying that he should not be part of your special day, just don't expect the ceremony to go completely smooth. Make sure you telI the minister, etc. how important it is to you to have him in the ceremony. I can offer a few suggestions to you that you might think about.

Hire an adult to watch over him during the ceremony - chances are that another child may not be able to get him outside fast enough if he does start acting up and your guests will not have to miss anything if they need to remove him.

Does your wedding have a theme? If so, try to incorporate him going down the aisle as a part of your theme. (ie. for a western wedding have him come down the aisle on a stick pony). Make it fun for him. Another suggestion is have the flower girl pull him in a decorated wagon (he might be scared, anyway). "Hide" small toys and books in the wagon and cover them with a piece of material that compliments your colors. Ask the flower girl to show him where the stash is after he makes his way down the aisle. You can even give him a walk-man to listen to pre-school songs during the cermony. It is possible that he will listen and be quiet. Just make sure that he is out of the way of the guests immediate view.

Talk up the reception by telling him that you are having a big party for him for being so good during the ceremony. It is even possible to stash a blow-out party favor in your bouquet (or in your husbands pocket) so he can start the party as soon as the ceremony is over.

Talk to him in advance about what is happening and that you would like him to be a good boy and make sure that you get a few gifts for him to open up so he doesn't feel left out.

I wish you all the best!!

Answer 3

The child will be there if hes the ring boy or not so if he gets vocal during the cermony it will happen either way. Theres nothing you can do about that and people will understand. Our ring boy was 4 and his dad was a groomsman and as soon as he saw his daddy at the end of the asile he ran down the asile hollaring "daddy!" people laughed. They're kids, you can't help what they do. I'd say let your son do it. I've been to weddings where the ring boy was 6 and 8 years old and refused to walk down the asile without his mother at the last minute. A wedding is about family, you start your lives and husband and wife together.. you should do that all together. The day you start your family, your whole family should be involved.. crying or not.

Answer 4

I would really want my son to do it. This is so wierd cause I thought of this exact situation the other day. My son is five tho and would most likely just be bored and sit down on the floor or slouch around in his seat and look miserable. The ceramony itself is usually pretty quick is it not? Have someone sit with him close to you guys or wherever and when it is time for the rings get him and let him walk up to you and get it over with really quick.

I can understand what you are saying tho. I dont know what would make him behave as with kids its fifty fifty. I mean, he is almost two and should understand when he is told to sit quietly but like that will matter to him when he gets bored... Why does he whine when you and his father kiss? Sounds like he could be a little bit...spoiled...? I dont know. No offense by that.

I would just give it a try as it will be special and he should be involved with your wedding. Give him whatever it takes to keep his little butt happy and quiet and then after you get the rings have someone take his little butt somewhere else.

Answer 5

You don't need a ring bearer. At our wedding, the 24 month old flower girl sat down in the middle of the aisle, delaying my wifes entry for what seemed like an eternity. Cute, but not when your already in the bride-groom eye lock. In most cases, brides and grooms don't trust a 5-and-under year-old with their most precious jewelry anyway. Its just not needed. Your son already has a special role to play in your wedding, as your son.

Answer 6

you could still use the 9 year old and let him carry a Bible down the aisle and let your son be the ring bearer . . . between now and the day of the wedding, allow your son and the 9 yr old to interact and get to know each other and maybe they could walk down the aisle together and he will follow the 9 yr old's example . . . maybe?!

OR you could do a "pretend" wedding at home and let your son practice what he's supposed to do in the wedding . . and do this over and over until he gets it right . . .

Answer 7

You haven't really parented very well, have you? A child that age should already know how to act during social situations and church. Have you been dwelling on the wedding too much and forgetting about the daily teaching you need to do with your son? Perhaps once you are married, a parenting class will be in order....

Answer 8

I think your son should do it. It is important to your fiance and that is reason enough. Plus anytime a couple gets married and they have a child, I believe very strongly the child should be included in the ceremony.

You can still let him have candy during the ceremony. and nobody should think he is rude if he fusses a bit during a song. Rude to whom? The singer? The people listening?

I think you would regret not including him vs the possibilit of regetting if he makes too much noise.

Answer 9

Let him and the 9 year old both do it-- the 9 year old could kind of "watch" him. Tell your son he can be a "Big boy" like (name of 9 year old) and do what he does in the wedding. We did this with 2 flower girls in our wedding a few years ago. It worked out really well.

Answer 10

When my sister got married, their son was 21 mos old, they bought a wagon (wood) and had it painted white, they put a white pillow in it and decorated it with streamers and flowers, the flower girls pulled him down the aisle, at that point they had a family friend take their son and hold him (in the event of crying she took him outside so gramma wouldn't miss the I do's)