Where is a "good" place to meet men looking for a long-term relationship?

Question

I have never really been in the dating scene before, but suddenly find myself in it because my boyfriend of 3 and a half years suddenly left me out of the blue. I am 28 and am looking for a quality guy who is interested in a relationship that could become long-term. I'm not into going to bars and clubs particularly. Does anyone have suggestions as to where I can meet nice guys?

Specifically, I live in Sacramento, California, but I am open to general suggestions as well as specific locals.

Answer 1

As goody-two shoes as this sounds, I recommend trying to find a guy by volunteering somewhere. Think of a cause that you care about, whether it be helping the homeless or environmentalism or spending time with the elderly, and volunteer at a local charity in your area where you can support that cause. Not only will you be more likely to meet a higher caliber of guy, but you'll be able to build a relationship and get to know him by working alongside him, not by awkward chit-chat in a bar. Moreover, you're more likely to find a guy that you "click" with, because chances are if he shares a concern for something that you're passionate about, you'll have more things in common, too.

And even if you don't find a guy, the time you spend volunteering could turn out to be some of your most fufilling moments.

One word of caution, though: don't just run out and join every charity in sight. Find one that you actually care about and you're willing to get involved in--otherwise, you're likely to give up if you don't meet a guy right away, and once you actually do meet a guy, less likely to "click" with him because you're only pretending to care about whatever issue the charity supports.

And if that doesn't work or you're not interested, join a club or a singles group at a church or something like that. If you head out and do something with the sole purpose of finding a guy, you might be disappointed, but if you're doing something that's fun or fufilling while at the same time meeting new people, that's when it's great.

Answer 2

Im a man. you live in an area where a lot of pick up artists (=major players) live. So they'll probably try stuff like 'cubing' you and 'asking you for an opinion'. Seeing as you want to meet a man for a relationship, bars and clubs definately not the best place. More like salsa dancing classes of hobbies where you can really get to know the guy. You may want to stay single for a bit, its a good life if you get used to it. A genuine guy will generally take your number and phone you the next day - he'll also prefer if you guys don't hook up until the 4th or the 5th date at least, and possibly a lot longer depending... Just do lots of stuff to keep busy, new activities, youll get to know the guy as a friend before becoming lovers. Alternatively, ask your male and female friends (esp. good ones) if they know of any eligible single men about.

Answer 3

I've always pictured myself as the "relationship" type guy, so here's my two cents as to where I'd be looking.

Of course, clubs/bars/other "pick up" places are out of the question because most of the people in those places (unintentionally or not) are putting up some kind of front or facade.

And honestly, over all the yelling and talking, it's kinda hard to get to know someone well. There's a lot of pressure in those places to "close the deal" fast.

1) What felt good for me was usually at school (before I graduated), because you could easily find something to talk about with classmates, and you usually had 3 or 4 months to get to know the person beforehand.

2) Friends of friends. Your friends should know you well and can provide some kind of "pre-screen" as to who would be a suitable companion for you. Remember, they have all those circles you do as well (school, work, hobby clubs, etc.), and can be looking out for you.

3) Maybe "speed dating" would work. I haven't tried this yet, but a lot of people say it's good for busy people.

4) I'd also say to try one of the online dating sites, but people are usually pretty fake on those. (And you usually have to pay.) However, you can take more time in getting to know the person before actually going out with them.

Hopefully this helps.

Answer 4

Since it's tougher when you get past schooling age, I'd say to start volunteering with all kinds of causes you believe in. If you like animals, donate a few hours a week to a shelter; if you like art, volunteer at festivals, that kind of thing. That way you'll meet guys who not only have the same interests as you, but they're probably not the party-all-night-up-for-a-fling types that you find in bars and clubs (which you don't frequent anyway). And if you don't meet guys that way...you'll still have fun doing the stuff you enjoy. Good luck!

Answer 5

I dont know, but Im that kinda guy and I hang out at bars and clubs because the alcohol helps me open up and talk. But those kinda guys can be skeptical and come across as jerks too.

Answer 6

I am a guy, and have been looking for women closer to my age and single, everyone tells me try churches.. church singles groups, i looked into one, and they do not require you to be a church goer, so, going to give it a shot this weekend. I also have not dated, or socialized for the most part, but was assured it would not be a problem. Hope this works out!

Answer 7

Localsingles

Answer 8

i think it's a fate. never know where you meet your real love & nice guys.
f.e. my friend met the husband by way of the internet. i met at the working pace. other girl - through the friends.
maybe you should look around; someone nice is closed to you?
good luck!

Answer 9

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Answer 10

There is no good place. I met my man on yahoopersonals. Got lucky. Right time, right place. Just keep an open heart and don't give up.