well me and him have been on and off for a couple years. we havent had sex cause i am still a virgin and im waiting.he's been bouncing back and forth between me and his ex. they were highschool sweethears. he tells me that they have history and they will always be friends, so i trust that and dont want to take that away from them. but she left me a msg on myspace saying that they were getting back together so i called him to ask and he pretty much tells me im at the bottom of the totem pole and that he hasnt tried to have sex with me cause he didnt want to hurt me..so pretty much he knew he was gonna do this...i told him i was done with him but he dont take me seriously cause ive said it so many times...i just need help...what do i do ????
2006-10-02 16:49:58 · 14 answers · asked by Holli G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to find some guts and just forget about this guy. He is obviously after sex if he kept going back to the ex off and on. I applaud you for keeping your virginity. Hang in there, and God will bless you with a good man who will treat you right. Do not go back to this jerk.
2006-10-02 16:53:36 · answer #1 · answered by papag7222000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you are done with him are you? So why are you asking us ?
If you're done, then you're done done done, & that's all there is too it. Prove it to him in your actions, not your words. Don't call him, don't take his calls, don't e-mail, voicemail, or snailmail. Stop all communication, & above all STOP CARING IF HE"S TAKEN YOU SERIOUSLY!
Let me be the 1st to congratulate you on this big step in your personal growth. You don't deserve to be at the bottom of anybody's totem pole, so now make sure that you aren't at the bottom of your own totem pole either.
Here's a nice bit of self-therapy for you. Go ahead & write him a letter. What? Did I just do a 180? No! Write him a letter & make it the meanest, nastiest, angriest letter you've ever written to anyone in your life. Tell him exactly what you feel, & hold back nothing. Now here's the important part. DON'T MAIL IT TO HIM!
Fold the letter into the ugliest envelope you can find, & take it to the nearest bonfire & throw it in. Watch the smoke lift your anger & emotions up into the sky & let the wind carry it away.
Now you're done with him Honey!
2006-10-03 00:09:28 · answer #2 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he said you're at the bottom. he's probably having sex with the ex and doesn't care about you. sorry. but it's probably true. you deserve someone that will appreciate you and wants to wait to have sex too. there's nothing wrong with that. but if he doesn't respect that you are a virgin when that's not what he wants then he's a loser. he should love you whether or not you've had sex. and he should feel very lucky to be with someone like you. find someone better. he doesn't even admire you. and puts you down to your face and online.
2006-10-02 23:56:01 · answer #3 · answered by Mel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think you did anything wrong, or maybe you just have not mentioned all the details of the entire story.
Obviously he has made a choice, and his current girlfriend decided to tell you because he did not have the courage. Please respect their relationship, respect yourself, and move on.
You may not have found out in the best way, but now you know and a GEM like you will have no problem finding someone that wants you.
2006-10-02 23:56:36 · answer #4 · answered by justthetwoofus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he's been yanking your chain for a long time. Drop him; he's not worth the trouble you're putting yourself through. Find someone else, but not until you're ready.
I think it's good that you're waiting. You're standing by your principles and doing what you believe in. You're too good to lose it to him anyway. Distance yourself from him and from her. Completely disregard them for a while, until you've healed.
As far as who is "wrong," I'd say that you're both a little to blame. He shouldn't treat you like that. You deserve better. You shouldn't keep taking him back or going back to him. Respect yourself enough to be with a guy who loves you.
2006-10-02 23:55:32 · answer #5 · answered by missesmoo236 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you either gotta give it up or give him up , and while I can see how he chose to go get some it didn't mean he had to be such a prick about it , I 'd just move on dear , why the wait ???? is it a religious thing or is it more than that ? maybe it is something you are just afraid of ? hell most people live thru it ! Decide what you really want and if a guy that wants to wait with you is it then you definitely need to look elsewhere darlin
2006-10-02 23:56:47 · answer #6 · answered by rifraffxxx 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get rid of him. You should always be at the top of the totem pole. Tell him to bounce over to her and don't bounce back.
2006-10-02 23:57:33 · answer #7 · answered by windandwater 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all you have to put scum where scum belong. second of all get your number changed. any ways he had to contact you stop it and tie up any lose ends ya'll had together.don't talk to him, don't return any phone calls.and he been messin with his sexually don't be no fool cause you saving your tresaure till your married so of course he got to find someone that is giving there's up.keep your virginity till you are ready cause when the right one comes you will know.she was a you know what for messin with him while he was involved with you he gone do the same thing to her to believe that.keep your head.
2006-10-03 00:01:24 · answer #8 · answered by mileashia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave him alone!!!!!! He is not looking to have a relationship with u because he feels that his ex is definitely the one for him, but he is not ready to fully commit to her just yet....there is one more thing that he just has to do.......that is to take Ur virginity. Girl don't let him have it. he is not worth it. i know it will hurt and it will take some time but u will get over it. good luck .
2006-10-02 23:56:07 · answer #9 · answered by luhver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about him and move on. You don't need someone in your life who can't make up his mind and commit to you. You deserve someone who loves you and cherishes you, and respects that you are waiting for marriage to have sex. Get rid of him and move on!
2006-10-02 23:53:22 · answer #10 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋