What do you think of spanking children?

Question

LIST SOME SUPPORTING AND OPPOSING VIEWS.

Answer 1

When used properly, spanking is a very effective tool for those who want to overstep their boundaries, act up, misbehave, act unruly, snap back, and anything else children tend to do when they get their dander up.

So as far as I'm concerned a good hard proper spanking administered to a child who knows better than to, is a spanking well deserved. My own mother always said that both good, and bad children need to be spanked regularly.

Although I'm somewhat mixed on her opinion, I do know where she is coming from.

Answer 2

Although I was spanked as a kid I was convinced in college that it was inappropriate. So I did not at first spank when I had my own kids. To make a long story short--in the course of being a Mom I changed my tune and decided my parents were not so dumb and old fashioned after all.

I know that anectodal stories are not very useful--but that is the major reason I spank--it works for me. I also think it is fairer and less mean than punishments like time outs and groundings. A spanking gets the punishment over and the air is cleared. The other things drag the thing out. I don't want to be a parental jailer. With younger kids I think the whole point of why they are being punsihed is lost. With older kids it is no more of an effective punishment and inspiration to strive for better behavior than jailing adults is.
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I think if more parents would spank--and do it correctly--they would be very surprprised by the results they get.

I should also mention all the research that has been done on this subject showing it is bad. These are all statistically flawed. Infact to the surprise of one researchers who surveyed all the research--he found it to be the most effective method of getting children to comply with the wishes of their parents. If more interested buried in the articles in my blog is one called "A Critique of the Anti-Spanking Research."

There is a reason parents have been spanking since time immemorial. The anti-spanking movement is very new. And like a lot of new untested ideas I am convinced it is wrong.

Answer 3

Children really don't need to be spanked if you have a handle on discipline that defines at the child's level non acceptable behavior. I came from an abusive background that crossed the line way to far and most of the time I was not sure what I was being beaten for. When I had my children, I worked very hard at talking to them and giving clear, age appropriate messages on what in appropriate behavior was, and the consequences they could expect from performing inappropriate behavior. Their Father and I could correct them in a room full of people by a mere snap of the fingers to get their attention and them direct eye contact. Immediately they would discontinue what ever the were doing. In very rare cases, such as repeated offenses like playing with a lighter after they already knew it was wrong, they were spanked on the bottom. Children need discipline and they want it. They want to be recognized for their behavior, and if the parent(s) don't give this recognition for the good things they do, they will seek it through some deviant behavior. Most importantly, give them love. No child was ever loved too much!!

Answer 4

Why are there more law breakers these days, no one wants to spank. I spank my children when they do something really bad. Time out is a good tool but it can only take you so far. The public need to get over themselves and either let parents spank to gain control of their children or accept higher taxes for bigger jails, because let's face it, that's the way it is going. I have 4 children and I spank. My children are respectful and good kids. They know the difference between right and wrong and it is all because of me and my husband, it has nothing to do with the dogooders who are against spanking. Those dogooders have out of control children and wont see it or admit it.

Answer 5

I totally believe in spanking but I hate to spank my boys. Although I do have to do it sometimes. It is usually my husband who does it. The bad thing about spanking is that I don't want to inflict any kind of pain on my children but sometimes it is necessary to do so in order to put an end to a bad behavior. I usually try anything else before I spank. The bad thing about parents who don't believe in spanking is that they end up with a child that they can't control. These are the parents who take their child to a doctor and say that the child is out of control. So the doctor labels the kid with some kind of condition or disorder and sticks him on meds. When in reality it is not the child who is out of control it is the parent who has no control.

Answer 6

Look at the lack of discipline and the problems kids today have vs earlier generations. NOTHING scares them to behave. They learn from a young age there won't be consequences.

First we made it illegal to spank. They we turn social services into the parent-nazis looking to bust any parent who punishes their kids.

I know of two moms in NYC whose own young teen kids called Social Services on them.... not because the moms were bad but because these kids were such spoiled brats. They knew they could blackmail mom. Social services tends to take the kid's side of things, no matter how absurd.

Teens today have no self discipline, have huge drug and pregnancy problems, are overweight, have problems finding jobs, etc. Basically this is what happens when a child is spoiled for 15 years.

Constrast that to teens in Amish society who are punished as kids when they totally broke the rules. They didn't need to be punished many times before they learned respect.

I can go to the amish markets and see kids as young as 12 or so running the cash registers as MATURE as the average non-Amish adult. They're not whining "I'm booooored" and they're not being resentful because they're working.

In short, if people don't believe in spanking, fine don't spank your own kids. But don't tell the rest of the world how to raise children.

Answer 7

I see nothing wrong with spanking. Parents have used this approach for many, many years. I was raised with it, so was my husband. My children have been as well. It has always been the last resort and we never spank them when we are angry. It is important to give yourself time to think about what your doing. This also allows the child to think about what they have done. Some people don't beleive in it, saying it is abuse. That is their opinion and they are entitled to it.

Answer 8

I think there is a right age for it. For me time outs do not work. not with my kids. And I know as a kid, a time out was nothing more than a minute to sit there and stare at the wall wondering what i would do when I got back down. How is that really a long lasting punishment. A punishment should leave a sting making you think about not wanting to go through that again. Sitting in a chair and facing a wall is not really that damaging. There is an age where taking toys away and so on doesn't do anything. I believe a swat for a toddler is perfectly ok. As they get older progressing to finding other means that will affect them are good. Although some kids deserve a swat every now and then. I don't believe in beating a child, but a swat with your hand is not bad. I don't think that spanking is really appropriate after about age 7 or so. Most of the time there are other ways to get your child's attention. However each child has to be judged seperately. What work for one may not work for another. You need to know your child and understand what make them tick so to speak. If you are not bruising your child, beating them with something other than your hand, and of course you shouldn't hit them out of anger then there should be nothing wrong with it. The whole spare the rod thing has done nothing but produce generations of kids who do not respect anyone and kids who run all over their parents. If you can't get control of your child at a young age while you still can, when they get older you won't be able to hold on at all. Not to say that children who are never spanked turn out wrotten, as I said you need to know your kid and figure out whta works for them and if spanking works for them then by all means use it. Spanking should not be used out of anger as I mentioned, because you are so frustrated that you don't know what else to do but take it out that way, in that case spanking is wrong. We can only parent by trial and error, if something doesn't work change your method until you find something that does work. I think that as long as you use your brain and you understand the difference between abuse and dicipline than there is nothing wrong with spanking. I understand that parents worry about their children hitting others because they are spanked and if that is the worry then make sure you only spank them on the butt. Don't smack their hand or their face. have you ever seen a child walk up and spank another child? I haven't! They usually hit them in the face or somewhere else. Also children will pick up on the reason why you are hitting them. Which is where hitting out of anger comes into play. They can tell that you are hitting them because you are frustrated and angry with them and so they think that when they get angry and frustrated that hitting is the way to deal with it. Whereas if you send them to their room, then come back later and put them over you knea or something like that and give them one good wack enough to make it sting and let them think about it then they know it was a punishment and not something thrown at them out of anger. My dad used to put me over his lap, start lecturing me, get me all good and worked up and scared and then smack down as hard as he could on his own hand, and of course I'd start screaming thinking I'd got hit and it would take me a few minutes to realize I hadn't been hit lol. It was a psychological thing, but it worked for it. Of course only a few times but still. As I said you gotta find what works for you and knowing your child is the key.

Answer 9

sometimes I feel there is no other option but once I do it I realize it never worked at all. I think spanking causes kids to be scared of parents and doesnt really teach them anything, it just scares them into not doing it again. I am guilty of it myslef though

Answer 10

Ask an adult the worst "time out" they ever had and what it was for. Bet they can't remember. Ask another adult what the worst spanking they got and what it was for and they WILL be able to remember. Spanking makes an impression.