Hey! Okay, I'm a 20 year old female and I feel horrible! I am always approached my much older men, or psychos threatening to kill me (true story, lol), or groups of guys that hoot and hollar and say derogatory comments such as last night with a "hey you fine piece of a**"..not exactly charming! My guy friends and co-workers tell me I'm beautiful, yet I feel absolutely awful. They always seem to go for the girls that are not very nice and treat them badly, yet they do give them one thing I won't give. And that's sex. I'm a Christian and I've decided to save myself for marriage. However, I'm not a religious nut and I love to have fun and laugh, but I feel so utterly confused and rather upset that I can't just find a nice guy that has a great sense of humor and respects my beliefs. If guys don't just want sex..then what is it? and I have had many bad experiences with guys, what is wrong with me so I can know why I don't get approached by guys my age??
2006-10-02 15:44:19 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have had opportunities where a guy I liked seemed interested and flirted constantly, but I never told them how I felt and it never went anywhere..I regret it very much, but what is my problem?? Thanks so much for any advice and Gb and have a great night!! :)
2006-10-02 15:46:22 · update #1
I feel honored to be one of the guys telling it like it is from the other end of the spectrum. I'm a 24 year old male and (really from the other end of the spectrum :>) I have the appearance of a computer geek, which BTW, I am. But I'm also a Christian and it is really hard for me to keep my standards while I'm looking for that "girl" that is keeping her virginity as well. While in highschool, I'd be shocked to hear about girls (and guys) giving it away at the young age of 12 and 13. In an (odd) class discussion, one guy told the rest of us that he gave it away at 13 to a 12 year old and he wasn't her first boy!
It also goes down to the main way that guys were created by God. They were created to be "turned-on" by the physical aspect of girls. The guy that can rip through the patience part (the part where a girl wants to wait) of a girl's mind is the guy who gets sex the quickest. Me? I want to have sex. There are days when that's the only thing I can think about. But, every time I think about the "aftershocks" of sex, I realize that I would be breaking a promise that I made to God and to that "girl" that I've been waiting for. When it comes down to that, I cannot break it.
I came on this site to answer some questions and get some more points. I think I might have found another reason to keep going in life, sexually speaking. I hope you find that Christian guy you're looking for. In the meantime, I'm still looking for that girl.
BTW, you can contact me through my picture icon.
2006-10-02 15:55:32 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Guys at 20 years old are sex-machines. They live to want to experience as much sex with random girls as possible. I personally find that discusting. Although I shouldnt generalize because i know that NOT ALL guys are like that...but most are, its quite sad.
So bottom line, guys at that age want girls to fool around with...as they get older they want the "reserved, intelligent, repecting" woman that they will call a wife and the mother of their children...so that would explain y u dont attract those guys..but I say u stand by ur decision and u let no1 change ur mind about ur abstinence.
I kno how you feel because I was on ur same boat...until i met my boyfriend of 2 years. I'll give you advice, hang around the smarter crowd, the ones who have fun, but know when to draw the line.
:o)
2006-10-02 15:51:10 · answer #2 · answered by ๑The Goddess๑ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sticking to your beliefs is important
Remember tho most not all guys will not wait around to marriage for sex
Men compliment women all the time it seems as tho these guys are going way way overboard.
No man should verbaly harrass you , however how do you dress?
do you show clevage, short skirts etc . Remember men are visual when it comes to sex .What seems as innocently showing off a good toned body to you is stoking the fires of lust in a male . Do your best to reconcile how you dress with your beliefs.
Go to church and church groups to meet men .Most men today will expect if its dating and a long term relationship that sex will be involved .Let them know right off the bat what you expect.
Expect a lot of them even church goers who profess having a virgin wife to leave . It will be painful . But those are your beleifs.
2006-10-02 15:57:38 · answer #3 · answered by bolounit1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what?, If we had these answers, there would be a lot less lonely people. Because I've kind of have been wondering the same thing my whole life.(well ok, I'm looking for a lady, not a guy, I don't swing that way). But one thing I can tell you is that 90% of guys look at women as objects to be conqured, so they can go brag to their friends. With you saving yourself ( which by the way is very admirable), the guys that want to conqure everything in sight, realize, with you they have no chance of bragging to their friends, and they will shun you, but don't worry, cause you don't need them, wait for the one, the one who cares not about whats under your clothing, but whats in your heart.
2006-10-02 15:55:42 · answer #4 · answered by Sentinel 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't change youself because of outward influences...it may seem like you have to conform to gain enjoyment but in the long run you find out it doesnt really matter...to be honest I'm a virgin also and when I feel like searching for a mate I will look beyond the confines of the USA to find my right women...and BTW she MUST be a virgin also.
2006-10-02 15:49:42 · answer #5 · answered by stupidreplier1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing is wrong with you. I am an older man. I am still trying to find a single fertile women, without children that want children and are closer to my age. They are few and far between. Its seems to be just a phase men go thru, particularly if they have waited to have a relationship/children. Also, saving yourself for marriage is something older men tend to find endearing. *as opposed to younger men who generaly find it frustrating..* And, younger women tend to be more fertile, as well as being a status symbol for the man.
2006-10-02 16:04:46 · answer #6 · answered by kljj 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Be confident in yourself. You are choosing to save yourself for marriage and don't let others make you feel bad for your choice.
My only suggestion, I think you need to hang out at new places, away from where you meet these psychos.
2006-10-02 15:49:03 · answer #7 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see nothing wrong with you, I would defenitly go for a girl like you, and I do like one that sounds like you, yet, I don't know how to tell her, so, maybe the guys that like you are too shy to tell you, maybe you should flirt a little and see if you can spark a note with any guys.
2006-10-02 15:47:20 · answer #8 · answered by Joel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Insufficient data. You need to talk with someone who knows you--how you look, act, present yourself, and such. There's no way I can tell why your situation is like you describe it, just from your being a 20--year--old female
Christian.
Sorry....
2006-10-02 15:51:22 · answer #9 · answered by DinDjinn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, you need to find someone who will accept you for who you are and what you believe in, and should ignore anyone else who is acting like jerk. I know a lot of people who can go with what you believe in but their my age so I wouldn't suggest them to you.
2006-10-02 15:48:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋