I used to be a really nice person. I used to be optimistic. Due to family illnesses and drama with friends, I've become kind of cold and heartless. I can still be nice but I want the good feeling that comes with it. I've dealt with a lot, personally, and now I feel like everything that can go wrong will. How do I make myself feel better and be more optimistic?
2006-10-02 15:35:17 · 13 answers · asked by Betty L 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
You still are a nice person she is waiting to come out again.It takes time but she will.Family illness is unbearable at any time,drama with friends they should be helping you at this time!! Find time for yourself ,listen to the music that you use to listen to,read a great book,,whatever you use to do before all this made you feel so cold and worthless.Just know that time has a way of handling troubles,and you will be okay soon..so take deep breathes and hang in there.
2006-10-02 15:56:52 · answer #1 · answered by Joan C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are still a nice person! When you get hurt, often repeatedly, it is normal to develop a tough exterior to protect yourself from future pain. The problem comes when your self-preservation turns into cynicism. Don't start to believe that ALL is last and EVERYONE is out to hurt you. Deep down you know it isn't true. It is just that we all get hurt sometimes.
Find something you love to do and get all of the joy you can from it. Some people turn to religion or meditation. I get my peaceful feeling from excercise or Yoga. It can't make all of the bad go away but it can remind you of how good you can feel in your own body, mind and life. Give it a try and see how long you can make your "high" last, no matter where it comes from.
2006-10-02 15:47:38 · answer #2 · answered by mollymolls 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How ??? who knows... It's normal to feel that way... you absorb the negativity that's around you. ONE THING WE HAVE IS FREE WILL TO CHOOSE... I get up each day and make a concious choice to be happy regardless of what BS goes on with others... gives me a sense of control. It's not easy... Drama with other people will always be there. Try to be with ones that have less of it. You talk about how you use to be, well... that person still exists. We can't let life change who we are deep down. I've been betrayed and abandoned but I take care of me first, BUT... I choose where I go... what I do and who i'm with... I feel powerful and you can too! Make the choice!!!!
2006-10-02 16:07:23 · answer #3 · answered by Sandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound just like me a few months ago.My son has had 10 surgeries in 8 years,he had seizures,migraines,ADD and he's mentally challenged and after all that I had nothing left to give.Plus I had 2 good friends who did me wrong.I was mad at the world,mad at GOD and just plain mad.Then one day I woke up and told myself that I wasn't gonna turn away from who I am.I looked at the good things in my life.I was lucky that my son didn't have life threatening illnesses.He would{and did} get better.The biggest help was the seizures stopped{thanks to GOD}.I realized that my friends were young and human and made mistakes and I forgave them.I then cut myself some slack.I'd been thru alot ,but I was able to survive and I still had my friends and family.IT WILL GET BETTER.You might just need a good one on one with GOD if your into that.Just talkin to him made me feel better.There are so many things you can do to help yourself.Just remind yourself what a great person you are,you deserve to have those feelings again.Good luck to you.
2006-10-02 15:51:09 · answer #4 · answered by hippiegirl672003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
time is the answer. time can heal how you feel. everyone goes through a "bad patch" but you can do this. Stop for a moment and think about how you look and act to people. Pretend you are meeting you and assess what you would think of this cold, bitter, person. Make up your mind that you will not be that person anymore.
You may have to act at first, but eventually you will become that person again. you can't let the crap that happens in life change who you are.
2006-10-02 16:47:26 · answer #5 · answered by chris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. I feel the same way you do. Everything that can go wrong will. I've stopped making an effort, i've stopped smiling altogether and i used to be really positive. I'm afraid that my life isn't what I wanted for myself and that I'm going nowhere. I just don't care anymore.
What I recommend is finding a project that really makes you happy, like writing a book or redecorating your bedroom, that will keep you motivated and happy
2006-10-02 15:46:30 · answer #6 · answered by idontknowsquat 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The only way to become again happy is to DECIDE THAT YOU WILL BE HAPPY. It is all in your attitude. I speak from experience. One day I decided I wasn't happy anymore and I proceeded to make my family miserable. It took me a long time to realize what I had done. I resolved the problem by MAKING MYSELF BE HAPPY. I smiled even though I didn't want to. I did nice things for my husband even though I didn't want to. ETC.... Eventually it all became natural again. I understand that family crisis takes a devastating toll on everyone. However, it is no excuse to continue misery by claiming unhappiness.
2006-10-02 15:51:27 · answer #7 · answered by Rox 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you weren't being realistic before and people took advantage of your good nature. You make yourself feel better by forcing yourself to change your thoughts. If you start to internally complain or find yourself starting to think dark thoughts, tell yourself to stop it, and count your blessings. Don't let this negative thinking become a bad habit. You are in control of your thoughts- take the reins.
2006-10-02 15:48:21 · answer #8 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hear you. I learned a long time ago that no matter what happens, 1) Time heals and, 2) Always have something to look forward to. That's always helped me to stay focused on the upcoming happiness or joy that could bring. Plan a solo vacation, put a leather coat on layaway, go to a play or movie next weekend, hell, take yourself for ice cream after school or work. Always look forwrad to something.
2006-10-02 15:45:03 · answer #9 · answered by *Larry P. he's for me* 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do not depend on outside influences to effect your
inside chi ( energy) because you have power beyond
any person or situation to change your life around.
Read my 360 page and Buy the DVD , "THE SECRET"
2006-10-02 15:42:37 · answer #10 · answered by miraclerun123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋