When your father is dying how do you get past feeling like you're in a nightmare that won't end?

Answer 1

You concentrate more on the time you have left with your father and less on yourself. My father died of cancer nine years ago and to this day I treasure every last moment spent with him.

Answer 2

I'm sorry to hear that your father is dying and you are hurting so much. This is a very tough position to be in and I know exactly what you are saying because I've been there. It really is like a neverending nightmare, but it will end and you will discover that you are stronger than you knew. Unfortunately this is also something you must go through -no one can bear your pain for you. I pray that God wraps His arms around you to give you comfort because at a time like this He is the only one who can.

Answer 3

I went through this feeling when my father was dying from lung cancer. My only consolation was knowing that his suffering would end and having the faith to believe that his spirit would pass on into a better place. I'm not a religious person, but at that point believing gave me comfort. It still does to this day and that was almost 18 years ago. I do not kow your fathers situation, but my father suffered from a lot of pain. The hospice workers were a great comfort as well. They made sure that he received enough medicine to keep him comfortable and us as a family did what we could to comfort him. He wanted to be around us and at home so we set up his bed in the living room and that is where we all gathered to be with him for that last stretch.
Find your faith and a belief that will comfort you and be there to comfort him.

Answer 4

It hurts. The important thing to know is that the hurt will heal. Your father would never want you to go on through life feeling lost, hurt or angry. He would most certainly be happy, if you will go on and live the life that your father had hoped for you. I'm sure he would be happy knowing you will.

Mourning is natural. It is a way of grieving for the things that are not achieved by a person, with someone, dying. We actually grieve for the unfulfilled FUTURE.

It takes time to heal, but the wonderful thing is that, the love for your father will fuel you, spur you to the heights and aspirations that your father had for you. Achieving that wish would be your gift for him and he will always be with you in your heart for all times.

God bless you and give you courage.

Answer 5

Ace, I hate to tell you this but at this time you probably want, if he's able to talk or listen, talk to him about God and make sure he is saved. When he does pass on, you will be glad you had the opportunity to do this. It still will not be easy when this happens, but if he's suffering now you will know he, want be and that is consolation. I lost both my mother and daddy and sister, people say time heals but I really don't agree maybe it's not as bad but try to have good memories with him now and try to do everything you can for him that he wants. Don't do anything you will regret later.,or wish you had told him how much you loved him or things you might be sorry for that has happen in the past. I wish you the best in everything.

Answer 6

It takes time but support from family and friends help a lot. I went through some pretty rocky times when my father was dying but it will get better I promise hon...til then just know there are a lot of people out there thinking of you and pulling for you...
Also as a hospice volunteer I have seen the pain in the families I serve...it does help to have a support system and people around you who care...

Answer 7

Oh my, I went through that same thing when both my parents died and I was an adult. It is extremely difficult to loose anyone in life especially a Mother or Father. I honestly felt like I was in a fog, the more I tried to overcome my loss, the deeper the fog became. I did the normal, cried, cried and felt nothing. So much grief can cause that feeling. Not even 2 years after my Father passed my Mother then passed away. It too hit me like a ton of bricks. I was like in a melt down state. I finally went to a doctor who had never seen me before. It was the best decision I had ever made. Unlike other doctors who rush you in then out, he actually set down and talked with me for a good period of time. I told him, I can't get over my parents passing...I have tried and I just can't move along as I should. I will never forget what he said so gently. He took my hand and looked at me and said, "you never get over the death of a loved one. You learn to live around it." He was so genuinely honest and compassionate at the same time. I knew he cared and wanted to help. I walked out the door shortly after that, I walked up to my husband and said, 'I am going to be alright..the doctor said what I so needed to hear." I shall never forget this docor and that special day...he opened my eyes and heart to see, that's it's alright to never get over a loved one who has passed on. He was right about learning to live around the deaths, and it's ok and you will find for yourself, they live within you. Memories are a wonderful thing.
God Bless You.

Answer 8

You don't sweetheart. I am sorry. It is a terrible thing to lose a loved one. Over time, the feeling will start to ease up, but it will never go completely away. You should try talking to your doctor about this. He can (and probably will) prescribe some medications that will help you feel less overwhelmed. I found alot of comfort in chatrooms that were set up for people who were, or had, experienced this kind of loss. All you can do is take things one day at a time, and try to remember that eventually you will begin to feel better.

Answer 9

I lost my father not too long ago to cancer. That was just 9 months after losing my mother, as well. There was no person on the face of this earth I was ever closer to than my dad. All of my life, I felt if dad ever died....I would not handle it.... I would completely fall apart, and not be able to go on. He was my inspiration to most everything in my life. I loved him so much. But something comes over you when the time comes. A strength you never knew you had. A sense of inner peace. It is a sort of spiritual feeling that I cannot explain. All I wanted to do was to find one of those "real" looking sleeping kittens (you see them in gift shops all over), and I wanted to put it in his casket with him. He loved his kitties. He used to take in strays and take them to the vet and care for them. I found a small one, and I wanted so much to place it next to him, I felt that would complete the funeral plans. It might sound silly, but I knew he would have loved it. Also, I had the strength, somehow, to write a piece to read at the funeral service. Something came over me, and I was able to read it, and read it with the meaning I intended. I don't think the "empty" feeling ever goes away, but the pain subsides in time. Just yesterday, I had some thoughts of him, and I get a tear in my eye, knowing he is not there for me to talk to anymore. He was always there for me. I think the relationhip I had with my dad, has given me the great relationship I now have with my two girls. We are very close.

Answer 10

I don't know how old you are. I am almost 50, and when my parents were passing (in recent years), I felt the same way.

It is very hard to loose someone who is extremely close to us. My first husband/childhood sweetheart passed on when I was in my 20's and I still miss him...

The nightmarish feelings need to be attended to. You are not alone, many people have felt these things. It is called the Grief Process, and it does take time, and there are five stages to "go through". I hope you have a close friend, a clergy, a teacher, your wife, Someone to talk to.

Peace be with you & yours.

Answer 11

Sometimes when you're in the moment it doesn't feel real. I lost my father five years ago to cancer and to deal with his sickness I avoided being home. I'd hang out at my friends house all the time. I wish now I would have spent more time with him. So spend as much time with him as possible and tell him you love him and it does get easier as time goes on.