If you haven't you are so lucky! My ex mother-n-law has stuck her nose in every single situation concerning my son. When I went to my divorce hearing, my ex's mother actually had the nerve to sit at the table with my ex, and even spoke for him when the judge asked him questions. My lawyer had to request that she be removed from the room! She has made the visitations about her, like she has rights(which she doesn't). She has even made parenting decisions about my son when he was suppose to be with his dad(including getting my son baptized before he even knew what that meant, and hiding it from me, just so that she could say that SHE was the one who got my son baptized. He was 7 yrs old and didn't even know what all that was about). She used to call 4-5 times a week and leave hateful messages when I wasn't home. She would call at 9:30 at night, when I asked her not to call past 8:00. I finally put a stop to all that. Am I the only one who has to deal with an ex MIL like this?
2006-10-02 14:12:36 · 8 answers · asked by LittleMermaid 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
NO she does not have grandparents rights. She COULD take me to court and try to get them, but she tried that already and since my ex who was living with her had rights anyways, the judge would not give her any. SO THERE!
2006-10-02 14:23:06 · update #1
I guess I should have given a few more details: Trust me, I am not nice to her! I don't speak to her anymore at all. I have blocked every phone number that she has ever called from, except for my ex's(Which I can't by law and wouldn't anyways). I didn't let her get my son baptized. They live about 350 miles from me, so I had no idea that she was doing that. I didn't know until my son came home asking me about baptism and what exactly it was. As it is, I have stood up to her to the point that she has actually hung up on me, cause she didn't like what I was saying.
2006-10-02 14:33:10 · update #2
Well, depending on what state you live in, you are correct that the grandparents don't have rights. Most states agree that the paternal grandparent can exercise visitation when the child visits their son. In rare cases they will award visitation (for example if their son was incarcerated and didn't receive visitation, they may be able to).
It is against the court for the non custodial parent to get the child baptised. Which is what happened. The ex MIL didn't just tell your ex that she was taking the child for ice cream and then when they get home say "Oops... I got Jr. baptised while we were out." He was in on it and it's not allowed. Regarding that issue you should have notified your lawyer. Also, the church that baptised him and who ever signed the papers could get into serious trouble. They aren't allowed to baptise without the permission of BOTH parents. Someone obviously forged your signature.
I would tell her that you will be recording all future phone calls from her to be turned over to the police for phone harassment. Before people get up in arms about it, it's not illegal to record your personal phone calls. Save all her messages on your machine and then... the kicker... turn them into the police. Make sure you ask to stop calling you in any recording that you answer the phone for... She'll stop quick when she realizes you are serious. If you are going to let her talk to your son let her know that she can call on this day at this time and she is more than welcome to talk to him for 30 minutes (or whatever time limit you see fit). You need to take control of the situation back. Also... I don't know how old your son is, but I'm sure that you can insist that your son and MIL come visit him instead of him traveling to them. 300 miles is a distance for a young child to travel and no court would enforce that he has to travel that far. It's reasonable to have the dad come to your son instead. This will leave you some what in control of the situation.
Good luck momma.
2006-10-03 01:41:14 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She DOES have Grandparent's right. Just because one judge chose not to enforce them at that time does not mean she does not have any.
Divorce is hard. You sound like you are very angry and bitter.
My suggestion would be to always remember this:
No child can ever have too many people to love him.
You may not agree with the things she does but most likely she is doing what she feels are best for the child.
She does sound like she is a very controlling person, you must have seen this during your marriage to her son? How did you handle it then?
Just always put the child's interests first.
I am sure that my Grandson's father sees me as the interferring-ex-mother-in-law even though my daughter was never married to him. Those two boys will always come first.
Good luck.
2006-10-02 14:57:52 · answer #2 · answered by ebosgramma 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You mean to tell me that she doesn't go away even after the divorce?! Then I'll just tell her where to go now I will not wait!
On a serious note He is your child! You do not have to listen to her nor do you have to take any of her advice. You put your child to bed when you want, you brush his hair the way you like. Take him to the Dr when you feel like he needs to go. About the phone you need Caller ID, and get rid of the answering machine! I would call the cops if she does not stop. then maybe she will get the hint........
So sorry you have to go through this! Good Luck!
2006-10-02 14:31:13 · answer #3 · answered by littlegoober75 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a mess. I think you need to learn to stick up for yourself some more. Mabey Jump on her case every once in a while. I would not have even let my kid get baptized if they were not ready. I am sorry to hear that she is controlling like that. I suggest. that you learn how to speak up. I think you are just being to nice. good luck.
2006-10-02 14:23:43 · answer #4 · answered by sr22racing 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...I am so sorry, she sounds loopy and controlling. I was very lucky not to have to deal with that, but I have a friend who is going through hell with hers, so I know what you mean. I wish you luck!
2006-10-02 14:23:30 · answer #5 · answered by **KELLEY** 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, she has "grandparents" rights and could get a lawyer and get her own visitation.
The decisions she makes for your kid when it's your ex husbands turn are up to him and her.
Who cares if the kid was baptized? If you want it done once he knows what it's about, then do it again at your church.
2006-10-02 14:20:20 · answer #6 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 4⤋
No you are not.Get caller ID,and when she calls don't answer the phone.You and your sons affairs are not her business,thank you.When she calls you again tell her that.
2006-10-02 14:21:32 · answer #7 · answered by George K 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have my condolences .. mine are a pain but not like that!
2006-10-02 14:21:11 · answer #8 · answered by smilingmick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋