I disagree with just about everything my parents say.......?

Question

especially my mom. I hate it when they judge others and just act like they know everything about them when they know nothing. And even though I don't know these people myself, I still sorta stick up for them. Like say we're driving and we see a 'homeless' man on the side of the road holding up a sign. My dad will be all like "He's white he can get a job easier than I could and end up my boss the next day." I figure you don't know what that man's been through in his life, you don't know his story, and they instantly get upset with me for sticking up for people and not agreeing with them. It happens often too. I actually hate that they think like that. I'm 15.

Answer 1

Hey ChocolateChip, To me you sound as if you have your head on very straight...you are thinking for yourself...you are objective and rational and READY to assert your independence--Not that you can be entirely independent at your age, but Miss C, trust me you are on the right path. Your instincts are crystal clear and RIGHT ON, and I commend you.
I am an older woman, have a 25 YO daughter (who still teaches me things), and I absolutely am very impressed with the way you think. You be proud of yourself, keep standing up for yourself and your reasonable point of view--and who knows, maybe someday you will teach both your parents a thing or two.
Keep it up, sweetie, and know that even parents have their weaknesses and problems...just be as true to yourself as you can, but in a way that is still as civilized and respectful of them as possible, okay?

Answer 2

The fact that you are a teenager does not invalidate your point of view. However, if it causes an argument then either ignore them or wait until you get out of the car and then go somewhere that you can find a healthy way to blow off steam. You are probably never going to agree on this point with them but you also will not always live in their house. You should still be respectful to your parents. It hard to explain correctly to a young adult but even if you have a boss you hate one day but a job you love then you learn to respect the position of authority they have and realize they cannot change your point of view either. I do not have that problem because I have a black step mother, a mostly native american dad and a mixed half sister. I love them all. You at least sound like you have your head screwed on right. There are good people and bad people of every race and religion. Bigotry has no boundaries.

Answer 3

I remember being 15 and I know just what ur saying. Now I am much older and believe it or not......I wish I would have listened to them. If I would have then maybe my life would have been alot better and not so hard but I do understand where ur coming from. No offense but ur dad sounds a bit one sided. Me personally, I would much rather get my act together and get a good job rather than stand on the side of the road with a sign. U sound like a good hearted person. Good luck to ya and try and give the folks a break.......someday it will be ur turn :)

Answer 4

It is completely normal for teenagers to disagree with things their parents say. Parents are human, too, and make mistakes, say things out loud which should be kept private and so on. Sometimes when people say things that you don't agree with, they are just testing the water (thinking out loud, seeing what reaction they might get). When I was a teenager and my parents said something that I thought was bizarre, I wrote in a diary and expressed why I thought they were wrong/incorrect. In the long run, it doesn't really matter what they say, you are an individual and you will think what you want to think. You will grow up, move out of your parents' house, and have children who think the things you say are very strange. It's just life. There really is such a thing as a generation gap. Have patience and know that your feelings are completely valid.

Answer 5

Relax. You're 15, and believe me, hon, you have a long way to go. As time passes, you'll be amazed to find that the older you are, the smarter your parents are. If they have bitter ideas, that means they probably grew up with struggles - that can make people bitter. They get upset because perhaps they have trouble with the idea that you're growing up and have ideas of your own. My own dad was that way. It took time. Accept that fussing isn't going to change them. You don't have that much longer before you're an adult. Then you can move out and say what you want whenever you want. Just have patience.

Answer 6

This is a tough one...for you and (believe it or not) your parents. The good news is, YOUR GROWING UP!!! YOU ARE BECOMING INDEPENDENT, YOUR OWN INDIVIDUAL! With your own thoughts, criticisms, joys and perspectives.
It's tough for your parents, 'cause, previously you would either a) agree with them, or b) have no opinion, one way or the other or c) disagree, but accept their opinion as the one that must be right.
Now, you as the individual are questioning not only their thoughts, ideas, and opinions, but your own! You have formed opinions on prejudice; thus the comment on the 'homeless' man. You take exception to your dad's comments. He takes exception to your thoughts. Ah yes, the cycle begins...to get through this, keep this in mind...'IT'S CRAPPY AND IT'S GREAT' to be feeling this way. CRAPPY 'cause it is very uncomfortable, GREAT, because you are becoming you!
Hang in there, sweetie!!!

Answer 7

you are not alone honey :)
there are millions of teens going through what you are.
I would like to encourage you to be strong.
I don't know how old your parents are (I'm a parent too), but I would say that it's very likely that they are products for the most part, of their own upbringings.

You are very fortunate and mature (I must say) to be able to recognize your feelings and deal with them without losing it. You are also wise beyond your years if you are indeed focussed on the plight of others before yourself.
Try to extend that focus to your parents as well. While it isn't always appropriate for your input when comments like this are made in front of your parents, there are ways to counter your "hands are tied" feelings by - for example - voicing your opinion that "you haven't walked a mile in his shoes" in another social setting where your parents are present along with other adults / kids your age with whom you are interacting.

blessings to you - I hope you stay steady.....

Answer 8

My grandfather, may he rest in peace, once told me that youth is wasted on the young. This is a quotation we have all heard in one form or another and it contains a profound truth. When I was little I idolised my parents, I depended on them for everything. When I was a little older they were my friends and soon in teenaged years they made me ashamed. When I was independent of them they became my equals and our friendship was re-established. Now that they have gone to their share in the book of life I idolise them and regret not getting to know them as the fantastic, strange, sometime wrong and beautiful people that they were.

Take the risk now, chicken, and try to get to know them while you still have time. You will miss them like no-one else when they are gone.

Answer 9

You obviously can form your own opinion and have every right to it. However, it is disrespectful to argue or be disrespectful of their opinions....please understand that the older you get the stronger your opnions are. Unfortunately, some people become bitter and have sour, even racist views. I think it's great that you have an open mind, just don't judge your parents since you don't like others or yourself to be judged.

Answer 10

Alot of time parents will not consider what a child says in light of their bad behavior but start quoting the Bible and Jesus' words and alot of what they say may begin to disappear. For example, "Judge not, lest ye be judged." or "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." Read just a bit of your Bible every day and pattern your life after the good examples you find there. Soon, your parents will also start to change, making it easier for you to have respect for them.