What should I do when my sister in law makes racial slurs?

Question

I am half Chinese/half Caucasian. When she's angry (like if I make a mistake) she'll start insulting the Chinese, terms too nasty to type here, or making fun of my mixed race, like a "mongrel"... at times like this I just ignore her, because I don't want to fight, but it riles me up inside and stresses me out!! (Oh, and she is always saying ignorant things about other nationalities too... I don't know why she's so hateful..)

Answer 1

I would talk to her at a time when she isn't behaving this way and tell her how much it hurts your feeling that she would treat you this way. If you cannot get through to her this way, I would start limiting my time with her. You don't have to be around people that make you feel uncomfortable!

Answer 2

People who are not well educated generally resort to name calling and racial remarks. She is just showing how uneducated she is.

Where is your wife in all of this? I would never stand for my husband to be treated in any such manner.

Next time your sister-in-law makes a rude remark, tell her "Thank you for your observation. Your keen wits have been noticed, but won't be needed." Nothing too rude, but you are just calling a spade a spade. Good Luck!

Answer 3

First and foremost you need not be in her presence.
Secondly you need to let your wife know: Baby I Iove you, and am married to you.....NOT HER! I will not tolerate such behavior in my presence, much less in my house ( if that's where sister-in-law is saying these ugly things). Let this monster-in-law know you don't care for her slurs, and until she can control herself, better yet her tongue you want nothing to do with her. Simple as that. Don't compromise on such a matter, and Wifey should be supporting your actions.

Answer 4

Your sister has to be put into her place. You need to let her know that she sounds like a racist and that that type of behavior will not be tolerated. If she can't act like a respectful individual, then she doesn't need to come around, because racism is something that you will not tolerate. She just sounds like an unhappy person.

Answer 5

You or someone has got to tell her. The longer you wait the worse it will get. Tell her that, that is only her opinion and believe it or not other people have opinions too and they don't agree with hers. What crap to have to live with. I grew up that way and all of my family except for me is like your sister in law. Good luck.

Answer 6

You are going to have to speak up. That is an awful situation to try to live in. It is demeaning and vile. Think of it this way: if you speak to her about it nicely (in private and quietly) and as a result you lose her friendship and are banned from seeing her, what have you really lost anyway?

Answer 7

What's her Ethnic back round? All groups have something they're not proud of. But if I were you,I would point-out everything that came from China. Gun powder,noodles,silk and wisdom(of witch she has none).

Answer 8

Say nothing!! Smile at her, and say absolutely nothing! It may stress you out, but try not to let it. She is ignorant, and nothing you say will she understand. You are the better person--remember that!

Answer 9

Next time it happens I would hold a big knife and ask her if she is trying to insult you....she will probably get the point and it does not classify as a threat

Answer 10

It could be that she is insecure. You can only control one person, yourself. Don't let her push your buttons. Keep your cool and she won't be able to bring you down to her level.