I am a 32 year old woman, I have been seeing my girlfriend for almost ten months. For the past two months, she has been fighting a depression, and most recently losing that battle. She reports sleeplessness, lack of apetite, slow reactions, disappointment with her life's accomplishments (she just turned 40), and I notice her perseverating on negative ideas.
She pulls away from me when I kiss her, can hardly leave her house, says mean things to me, even snaps at me. When I point this out to her, she asks why I "take it." I ask her if she wants to take a break from me and she panics.
What we used to have in common was creativity, work ethic, humor, comitment to community, and other, optomistic attributes. I love her, but I am uncertain as to whether she can love me (right now or ever). I need intimacy now: How long should I stick this out?
I seek answers from those who have survived depression and have been able to maintain intimate relationships.
2006-10-02 13:15:53 · 4 answers · asked by bethany94609 2 in Health ➔ Other - Health
You shouldn't have to "stick it out." If you love this woman then you should focus on helping her, if she wants help. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. If she has no interest in getting help for her depression then you should weight the pros and cons of staying in a relationship such as this one. What about your needs? How is this affecting YOU mentally? Has her depression made changes in you? These are questions you need to ask yourself and then think about the benefits of staying in a relationship. First you should ask if she is willing to go to counseling or talk to her doctor about her depression. Many times depression can be easily fixed by medication, diet changes, and exercise. Let her know that you will support her if she is ready to make changes. Good luck!
2006-10-02 13:29:25 · answer #1 · answered by BMW Nurse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It won't happen, first and foremost she needs to get over the depression herself. I went through a devastating depression before my divorce and the best thing that could of happened is being on my own for a few months. This gave me the time to work on my problems and my depression and to figure out why I was depressed. Most people would think that staying with her would help her but beleive me.. things wont get better for you two, she needs to figure out what is wrong and fix it. Otherwise this is just a waste of your time and in the long run, hers too. Of course sometimes depression meds are very helpfull just dont use them as a crutch.
2006-10-02 13:33:22 · answer #2 · answered by Marc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow.. only two months of bad weather and you are already willing to jump ship.. Have you considered trying to get her into a doctor? Have you considered putting aside your selfish need in order to focus on someone who is obviously in trouble? It's apparent that she doens't really mean that much to you unless she if providing for you. So why don't you get her in touch with a friend or family memeber who cares for her more than you do that can help her. This way she doesn't have to worry about you in her time of need and you can get all the attention you demand from someone else.
2006-10-02 13:26:14 · answer #3 · answered by limgrn_maria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello! Try to HELP HER. I know how it feels when I'm depressed and no one'll help me!
And are you lesbian or is your girlfriend your friend?
2006-10-02 13:24:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋