that i still kinda hate my mom when shes been dead for a year. I mean i hate her as much as i hate my dad, and its there fault for the way i am an my prob's (as in mental probs such as depression and anger) i told my dad that, and he sed even after her death u treat her like this, but its like they sed once u've made a mistake you can't erase it, even if your dead or alive. I dont care is shes dead shes in heaven and im the one still here suffering in earth, and all her sins are just.....erased so why would i feel bad!!!?
2006-10-02 12:42:56 · 12 answers · asked by =)) 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
You are probably feeling abandoned and feeling a lot of anger at her for leaving you. That is all a part of the grieving process and eventually you will grow beyond that hon. I lost my dad 6 years ago this January and it took me a long time to come to terms with it but I have. However there are times when I still do miss him but I hold no anger toward him anymore. You will come to a place of peace...it will take awhile but it will happen.
You may want to seek out support groups in your area such as Butterflies, a group for children who have lost a parent..this particular group is run by hospice. There are many others and all age groups. It does help a lot...I am a hospice volunteer and that has helped me immensely also.
2006-10-02 12:48:50 · answer #1 · answered by tigerlily_catmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it is not wrong but you have to find your own occupations and purpouse in life so you can get out of that circle of hate. There are many things we can't have effect on, but still a lot of those we can...have a life better then she had, do right what ever you would do....have your own happiness made. This would only make you suffer and stay in the shell more and more. I know what i'm talking about, coz my bf has a similar problem....Good luck!
2006-10-02 19:50:18 · answer #2 · answered by lina_girl06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I felt the same way after my mother died. We were close and after she passed, I found some old letters and things in her desk showing who she really was.
She was cheating on my dad and was going to leave my brother and I for another married man. She got pregnant with me when she was sleeping with the other man. My mother told me all my life that my dad abused her, he was a jerk and that she was divorcing him. She was at fault all along.
Its normal to go through this. My mom has been gone for 5 years now and there are days when I look back and I just hate her and I want to scream.
I feel bad for hating her because she was my mother. She had given birth to me and now she is dead.
2006-10-02 19:51:00 · answer #3 · answered by sherichance79 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is normal.. you're not a bad person or unique!
relax... think about this when you wish or when it comes... over time you'll sort things out and probably feel differently... it happens.. something about time passing and feelings changing..
you feel bad... that's normal also.. why it is you feel bad could be and are a number of reasons...
mistakes are made.. no they can't be erased... but feelings can heal over time.. and who knows what the future will do for you about this and what it will bring.. for you and between you and dad also...
let this take it's course... don't force it.. don't feel too guilty over it and don't try to not think about it...
i hated my grandfather.. i still do at times.. but over all i'm glad he took me in... my life was improved by his decisions but he sure was a hard man and he had problems...
he's gone now.. been gone for 10 years almost... i still get angry about the things he did.. but then again i'm happy to have been a part of the life he offered. from what i was given it was the best choice.
but he was such a turd at times and he did have a degenerative brain disorder that no one took seriously....
so on.
it takes time.
and allow that.. i can't forsee your future in this and i know you can't.. that's ok.
let the feelings flow and let them be honest.
that's the best route.
2006-10-02 21:05:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you just forgive your parents for being human and prone to making mistakes you will be able to live YOUR life. The first step is realizing that you are the one who built walls around yourself. Break them down. Forgive and live a full and healthy life! Good luck and God bless!!!
2006-10-02 20:08:59 · answer #5 · answered by Heather C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you blaming them for how you have allowed yourself to feel?? It's no body's fault but yours...until you realize that...you'll always be the little girl who hates her parents and will blame everyone one else for her life. Is that what you want??
2006-10-02 20:03:00 · answer #6 · answered by pdubie2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You won't find peace with yourself in the present if you don't make peace with your past...trust me, I know from personal experience regarding my own parents. You have to decide this for yourself and make peace with that decision regardless of what it is.
2006-10-02 21:57:14 · answer #7 · answered by She-ra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well everyone is entitled to the the right to hate or love...and in this case you hate...even tho she has died....you need to understnad tho...everyone makes mistakes...
my dad died...and i was so mad at him...but you feel better when you just decide to forgive and the hardest part...forget.
good luck.
2006-10-02 19:47:41 · answer #8 · answered by mergirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep blaming other people for your problems, and see how far it gets you. Is it your keyboard's fault that you cannot spell?
2006-10-02 19:46:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't necessarily inherit her mental problems so stop blaming her. I think you are mad at her because she died and "left" you. It was out of her control.
2006-10-02 19:50:20 · answer #10 · answered by Kitty L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋