how can i control my anger and stop taking it out on myself?

Question

I'm sick of cutting, there's no flesh to cut anymore, only scarred tissue and no one makes an issue of it anymore. I need something else to do that lasts longer. Please don't tell me to seek help, i'm not a talkative person, the only reason i use yahoo is cos i can be heard without being told what to do.
I know it's my art to cut and a way to express myself but i know I have to kick the habit and sort it out as it looks bad now.
Does anyone have any eefective ways to deal with anger.?

Answer 1

Anger is defined as a feeling of strong displeasure. What do you feel strong displeasure toward? Everything? People? The way you are living? It is probably important to find out where the anger is pointing at. What is the object of your anger? One of the more effective ways of dealing with anger is what you have already done, which is to admit openly that you are feeling it. I would have you just look a little closer at what angers you. Because whatever that happens to be, it has great control over you. You have allowed it to control you through your anger. Then probably the next thing to consider, when you get a moment of silent reflection, is whether or not it is worth it to feel that all the time. When you get older, you may well look back and think, "Oh, my God, what was I thinking?" That is how I felt inside when I looked back on eighteen years ago when I used to drink. What a mistake that was, even though it provided visions and deep insights, it was also killing me. A bad trade-off. I simply got scared sober. It was not willpower that got me sober again. When you get darned good and ready you will probably reinvent yourself because your anger will not summon anything commanding enough to hold your attention for very long. Anger is a stance. And what you really are looking for is the trust you lost in people when you were about twelve. You are in the process of rediscovering yourself, and it is a very worthwhile and exciting journey, and in the process you will probably also reach a natural point where cutting yourself further serves no artistic purpose whatsoever. I have always felt music can help people redirect their choices to things which are more fun to live with, day in and day out. Sent to you with good energies from Chris in South Portland, Maine, U.S.A. (I am 63 years old, and encourage you to keep a journal, if you don't do that already.)

Answer 2

If you don't want someone to tell you to stop and seek help, you might as well stop readinging right here.

You have already resorted to cutting yourself. That alone shows you cannot heal yourself. It is NOT art to cut yourself. It is an expression of a sort, but an expression that doesn't lead to anything positive.

Before trying to explore how to stop cutting, you really have to find out what you are so angry about. Is it yourself or about someone else? Or perhaps it is the "society" in general.

Then think about how cutting yourself will solve your problem. Well, you already know the answer. You have body full of cuts and you are still not satisified. What does that tell you?

If you are angry about someone else or the "society," then know this. YOU CAN NOT CHANGE OTHER PEOPLE. So stop trying. You can; however, learn to deal with difficult people. Your problem is no longer a problem when you learn to deal with it effectively.

That, I think, you will need help to achieve.

Answer 3

You said you don't want to be told what to do. OK. I don't like that either. But you did ask the question, so here is my answer...

Without going into detail, I have similiar issues myself. About 5 months ago, I began seeing a therapist. I now understand more about my anger, impulses, and better ways to deal with them. Constructive vs. destructive.

You said you're not a talkative person. Neither am I. It seems to me though, that you do have some things you need to say. Please schedule an appointment with an LMFT (Licenced Marriage and Family Therapist). Many LMFT's see clients on an individual basis. When you make that appointment and the therapist asks the reason for your visit, just say the same thing you said here. "How can I control my anger and stop taking it out on myself?".

Best Wishes.

Answer 4

I cut for years. Try acupunture and/or chinese herbal medicine. Do a google on Liver qi. Learn that there is more to humans than what the psychiatrist tells you. Only they don't have psychiatrists as such in chinese medicine.
Or maybe you just need something that peolpe will make an issue out of. Don't bother. It's a waste of energy.
Read the Desiderata (again, do a google)
Time is the best teacher. Don't expect results tomorrow!
Take care

Answer 5

Please seek out a professional or a school counseler..

But ways you can help your self is...

When you get bad justs scream with a pillow on your mouth (Works for girls)
Masturbate (Seriously.. He relieves mental stress)
Use or punch a pillow or a punching bag (Just think of the bag/pillow as that person or thing thats making you mad)

And just know that cutting yourself will make things worse and wont solve problems at all...

And cutting yourself out of anger like that isnt art, its being emo... Which would probably get other people to tease you and make you more angry...

Be happy.. and remember.. take your anger out in a way that wont harm you or others..

Answer 6

After reading all your questions, I have come to realise that you are a very damaged individual, who desperately needs help. Yahoo questions may be a stating point for you, but it cannot provide you with professional intervention. You need to start taking responsibility for your own behaviour and look at how it is
affecting others. Perhaps you need to be told what to do through constructive feedback from a therapist. This will also help you to work through your issues and ultimately make your life happier. You are not really helping yourself and the world cannot rescue you. You have to want to make changes to your life, and if you don't do that you will remain in your bubble of despair. Lots of other people have been through what you are going through, but they have manged to turn it around into a positive experience. Maybe you could go back to your GP and ask him to refer you for cognitive behavioural therapy, which works on the premise of changing negative thought processes. If you don't do this you will remain in your world of despair. You don't really want that do you?

Answer 7

I'm no expert on the matter but this seems to stem form lack of self worth and/or self confidence, as you say you are not talkative. Unfortunatley hiding on the Web is not going to help, you need to get out and meet people to talk to. Seeing a shrink is not a failure and it would be the first step to having meaningfull face to face conversation with the added bonus of chatting to someone who could actually help you rather than us wannabe experts online. Good luck.

Answer 8

I just answered one of your other questions. I did the same thing when I was in my teen years. I HATED when my high school teachers told me to go talk to someone. Whats the point right? All they are going to say is "I understand". They dont know do they.

What do you enjoy to do? Some people find ways to calm themselves through writing, playing guitar, listening to music and so on.

Like the other answer I gave you, find something you love, use it because it does help you deal with these issues.

Answer 9

The best way to deal with anger is to talk. Sorry, but that's a fact. You have to express your feelings and emotions, and anger kicks in when you don't have the words, or someone to talk to honestly. If you need to self harm you should try grabbing an ice cube and holding on to it until you feel the relief you need. Please don't cut yourself anymore, it isn't helping you in the long run.

Answer 10

you could stop cutting and put it into something more creative...thats what i did.
i dont really know how to explain this exactly...well, i guess all of my pain and darkness somehow transformed into a blast of creativity - i started painting, drawing, and writing. it was cool, and i reallly like what i created out of my depression. of course, i got in trouble sometimes - an example: i wrote a very...violent poem and my teacher sent a note home to my parents, sending me once again into therapy. but, being creative made me feel better, and from the picture that you drew, im guessing that you could turn all of your pain into drawings or pieces of writing.
dont cut yourself - dwelling in self-doubt and sadness doesnt do anything. move on and realize all of the good things in your life.
you can email me at [e-mail] or IM me on aim at morbidengagement.
hope you feel better. :)