i wanna hear some good worth while jokes...the best one will get 10 pnts
2006-10-02 12:30:27 · 6 answers · asked by harmonieclark 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Here, a funny joke for you:
A blond decides to ride a horse with no prier experience. As she mounts the horse it immediately springs into motion. It gets going so fast that she starts to slip from the saddle and grabs the horse's main for balance. She is about to come to her fate when, to her rescue, a Wall-Mart employee comes and turns the horse off.
2006-10-02 13:16:45 · answer #1 · answered by Drew 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard.
Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.
The tailgating woman had to slam on her brakes. As her tires screeched to a sudden stop, she hit the horn. Then she started screaming in frustration over her missed chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup in the process. As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her half-open window. She stopped her cursing and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer.
The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell. After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.
He said: "I'm very sorry for your experience. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'What Would Jesus Do?' bumper sticker, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian Fish emblem on the trunk."
"Obviously I made a mistake, but for some reason I assumed you had stolen the car."
2006-10-02 13:29:37 · answer #2 · answered by summerbrze 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
-----Good manners __
During class, a teacher trying to teach good manners asks the students: "Students, If you were on a date, having supper w/ a nice young lady, how would u tell her that u have to go to the bathroom ?
------- Michael ?
-------- Michael: "just a minute, I have to go pee."
------ Teacher: "That would be rude and impolite !
----- Teacher: "what about you Peter, how u would say it ?"
---- Peter: "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom, I'll be rite back."
--- Teacher: "That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom @ the dinner table.
----- And you Little Johnny are u able to use your intelligence for once & show us your good manners ?"
--- Johnny: "I would say: 'Darling, may I please be excused for a moment ? I have to shake hands w/ a very dear friend of mine, who I hope you'll get to meet after supper."
----- The teacher fainted !
2006-10-02 12:40:07 · answer #3 · answered by leazngurl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
100 nuns were praying then one nun says a man snuck in last night. 99 nuns say oooh and one goes heeheehee. Then she says There was a condom in the garden. 99nuns say oooh 1 says heeheehee. then she says. There was a hole in the condum 99nuns say heeheehee 1 says ooh
2006-10-02 14:38:46 · answer #4 · answered by Halloween freak 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A guy was playing golf one day and he got lost. He saw a lady up
ahead of him and went to her and said, "Can you please help me, I don't know what hole I'm on".
She told him "You are one hole behind me. I'm on 7; you're on 6."
He thanked her & continued playing golf. Later he got lost again.
He saw the same lady and went to her again kind of embarrassed.
"I'm sorry to bother you again but I'm lost again, can you please
tell me what hole I'm on."
Lady : You are one hole behind me. I'm on 14; you are on 13.
Again he thanked her and continued playing golf.
When he finished he saw her in the clubhouse. He went up to her
and asked if he could buy her a drink for helping him out. She accepted.
As they were drinking & talking he asked her what she did for a
living.
"I'm in sales."
He replied, "no kidding so am I. What do you sell?"
Lady : It's too embarrassing to tell.
But after he kept pleading to know what she sold she said she'd tell him if
he promised not to laugh. He promised.
Lady : I sell WHISPER (Sanitary Napkins).
He immediately fell to the floor laughing hysterically.
Lady : You promised you wouldn't laugh.
He replied, "I'm sorry, but I couldn't help it. I sell toilet paper... I'm still one hole behind you."
2006-10-04 05:44:28 · answer #5 · answered by giko 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
*Beenie Weenies*
There were three guys...
White guy,Black guy and a Mexican.
they were hungry and so they decided that one of them needed to go into the store and get the beeni weenies.
so the Black guy goes in and right before he goes to grab the can of beenie weenies a voice calls out,"I'm the ghost of beenie weenies,touch my beans I'll eat your weenie."
So the Black guy runs out of the store.The other two looked at each other and so the Mexican decided he would go in to get the beans.He grabs the can and looks at it and a voice calls out,"I'm the ghost of beenie weenies,touch my beans I'll eat your weenie."So the Mexican runs out of the store.
The white goes into the store and grabs the can and the voice called out,"I'm the ghost of beenie weenies,touch my beans I'll eat your weenie."
The white guy said,"I'm American, I'm so fast, you touch my D***, I'll kick your A**!!!
2006-10-02 13:08:31 · answer #6 · answered by ///\oo/\\\ 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋