My son is getting married. What should offer to pay for,?

Question

I've already forgave a 3,000 debt he owed me and am going to pay for a Honeymoon (4,000).

Answer 1

You should pay him NOT to get married. After the divorce he will move back home anyway. What's THAT gonna cost you? More than $7000 me thinks! Good Luck!

Answer 2

You should NOT feel pressure to pay more than you can comfortably afford.

With that statement always in mind...traditionally the Groom's family pays for the Rehearsal Dinner. Occasionally the honeymoon.

Since you have already forgiven a large debt and paid for what sounds like a generous honeymoon the rehearsal dinner is the only thing left to consider if you want to stick with tradition.

That does NOT mean it needs to be a fancy catered affair. Perhaps it can be a relaxed cook out in your back yard, a chance for everyone to kick back and have some fun getting to know each other before having to get into the fancy clothes the next day.

If you are breaking with tradition and not going to cover the rehearsal dinner it is best for you to let the couple know ASAP so they can budget accordingly.

Of course if your finances permit you can always pick up a larger share. It is not uncommon for the grooms family to offer to pay for half of the wedding.

You should also be sensitive to the Bride's families financial situation. Perhaps they have limited the number of guest you can invite because they can not afford more.

These are all sensitive issues. Very often people think a family that appears well off has plenty of money to "blow" on a wedding when in fact LOOKING like you have money does NOT mean you actually do.

If you're planning a wedding the most important thing to remember is that it is not the size or cost of a wedding that makes a marriage. Plenty of budget weddings have resulted in GOLDEN anniversaries!

Answer 3

OK. First of all - BabyGirl is right. Debt and your sons wedding have nothing to do with one another. I feel it's quite inconsiderate or in the least bit a tad rude to even mention the "debt."

Typically, the groom's family pays for the reception, while the bride's parents pay for the ceremony. As for the honeymoon - that is to be paid for by the couple.

I am getting married in March, and I also went to school for Bridal Consulting. This is proper wedding etiquette.

Please know that your son and future daughter - in - law can have an absolutely extravagant wedding for less than half the cost of a typical wedding, which on average from the 2005 census runs about $21,000. For tips, tricks, deals and steals, go to
www.bridalbargainsbooks.com
I have found this book to be very resourceful. Although there are alot of helpful tips on the site, the book obviously goes farther into detail and has a substantial amount of more tips than the site does. It's goes for $14.95 and, it is well worth every penny.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Not that your son deonst deserve a honeymoon, but if he had a $3000 debt to you, he doesn't exactly sound "fiscally consevative." If you don't think your son can appreciate the money, stick with the staples of rehersal dinner, reception bar tab, and little things he might need some help paying for. A $4000 honeymoon is a little exteme. My wife and I paid for our own, had a wonderful honeymoon in St Louis (we'd never been there) stayed at a nice hotel, hit the casino, went to the top of the arch, visited a butterfly house, took a 1hr river boat tour, had some great dinners, went shopping, all in addition to the usual honeymoon activities, and did it all for under $1000. (I realize flights could have jacked that up a bit, we drove). This is not your wedding to pay for and you shouldn't be giving handouts, but at the same time try to be supportive both finacially and mentally, without spoiling your son and soon to be daughter-in-law. (By the way, Tink's advice is just out of wack).

Answer 5

First of all the debt he owed you haves nothing to do with the wedding. Secondly usually the brides parents pay for the wedding but the grooms family helps out too. The honeymoon is good enough if you ask me. However if you can afford it other things need to be taken care of you can pitch in and help if you would not have a problem doing so.
I got married 2 years ago my parents are divorced but they both still paid for most of the wedding expenses. Me and my husband paid for a lot of it as well and so did his parents. His parents mainly paid for our honeymoon (most of it) and they paid for some of the reception. Then people from all sides of the family added a few dollars each to pay the preacher for marrying us.
So if you can afford it maybe help with the decorations, or the reception if needed or whatever else needs to be done.

Answer 6

Pooch, why are you paying for the honeymoon? Is this your gift to the couple? The groom usually pays for the honeymoon, or the couple themselves. If it's your gift to them, that is one great gift, you want to adopt my son?

The groom's parents usually pay for the rehearsal dinner. The groom picks up the tab for the bride's flowers, rings, minister costs, and honeymoon. Is the couple having a formal wedding? If you so you would need to have a nice rehearsal dinner. If they are having a semi-formal wedding or a simple one, then you could have a nice buffet dinner.

If you choose to give the rehearsal dinner, please invite the bridesmaid's husband or boyfriends. Also, the groomsmen's wives and girlfriends. It is so much nicer for everyone, if that is done. The person who marries them, their spouse or partner should also be invited. Rehearsal dinners are just a big dinner party. There is no reason to go over board with it, unless you want to have a very formal function. Usually though, they are very laid back and a relaxing time.

Are you sure you don't need another son? I think it is so nice of you to do this for the couple. I wish you and your family all the best with the wedding.

God bless us all......................

Answer 7

Both sets of parents and the couple should have a meeting to discuss stuff like this and the guest list, etc. It is very generous of you to pay for the honeymoon, so I think you are done. The debt he owed you should not be mentioned as part of what you have paid for the wedding - you did that personally for him. Don't hold it over his head.
These day, most couples are working so they pay for their own wedding, but offer what they can to help out.

Answer 8

Well, if you forgave the debt then it's time to forget it and not count it against him everytime something comes up. I believe the tradition is for the groom's family to pay for the rehearsal dinner. Have you sat down with your son and talked to him about it?? I say if you can afford it, then it would be nice to pay for more. If you can't, then tell him that you are paying for the honeymoon and just can't afford more.

Answer 9

Forgiving a loan? There must have been a good reason... other than him getting married.
Anyway, I first must ask if you paid for private school, college cars etc.?
Traditionally the groom's parents pay for:
Liquor
Flowers
Church
Rehearsal Dinner

If you haven't paid for any of the things I asked about above and you are in the market to forgive loans and pay for honeymoons- then you are surely capable of affording the traditional groom's family fees.
A loan is a favor- honeymoon a gift- other contributions... appreciated. Help the kid out if you can.

Answer 10

Traditionally, the family of the groom pays for the rehersal dinner. That's it.

For my fiance and I, this will be a second marriage for both of us, and we're both adults with our own jobs, so we're not asking anyone to pay for anything!

That's really nice of you to pay for the honeymoon. Take the rehersal crew (bridesmaids, groomsmen and immediate family) out to dinner and you're good to go. You've done more than enough!

Answer 11

Personally, I think you've done your part!! I would to of loved my Mom to pay $4000 for my honeymoon! They could use the $3000 you saved them on the wedding and her parents will help out! Congratulations to you and your son!