Is it rude to ask the wedding party to buy their own dresses and tuxes? I am on a very tight budget--and my friends are as well. Since I know that they are also on a tight budget I am afraid to ask them to purchase their own clothing. I have not yet asked them to participate in the wedding because of this dilema. Also, I am asking my brother, his girlfriend and their two kids to be in the wedding so this is a great cost for them. Any suggestions?
2006-10-02 12:08:44 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I am not trying to impress anyone with a big elaborate wedding. Truthfully the wedding itself is not important to me (only the union), but family and friends are important to me and I cannot exclude them from the wedding party. If it was not for the family and friends, I would be perfectly content having a civil service. But they will make the wedding much more special for me.
2006-10-02 12:19:58 · update #1
I think the wedding party pays for their own. Most brides rent so the people in the wedding party don't have to buy a gown they will never wear again. I paid for my own gown when I was the maid or honor. Luckily, the bride chose gowns for us at Robinsons-May so it was only like $200.
2006-10-02 12:18:02 · answer #1 · answered by ready2go67 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most of the time the wedding party DOES pay for the own clothes. Since it seems like everyone is on a tight budget my suggestion to you is to find a store that is discounted. I went to David's Bridals when I got married (7 years ago and in Jersey). My girls dresses were around $100...which isn't that bad. When my hubby went to the tux place we keep in mind everyone money situation.....usually with a wedding party of 5 (in most stores) the groom gets his tux free (so if you want to help your brother cover his cost this might make it easier), check with the store. Just check around the stores in your area and check out the prices....you can always use the Internet to do the research or ask someone you know if they can give you any suggestions. There are lots of ways to cut cost you just need to take the time and research it. Where I am from most caterers will give discounts if you have a Friday wedding, as well as DJ's. Take the time a research everything you need before you sign any contracts....the time you spend could save you a pretty decent dollar.
Good luck and enjoy your special day. :)
2006-10-02 12:20:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a few options actually. I have organized weddings where the bridal party buys their dresses/tuxes and then the bride pays for hair & shoes for the girls. However, I have been in a wedding where the budget was equally tight and my grandmother made all of the bridal parties dresses. We found a simple pattern at Fabricland and the material was a reasonable price. I think the most expensive thing that we wore that day was the jewelry my aunt gave us as our bridal party presents.
The other thing I can suggest is, if you have them buy their dresses, choose one colour that everyone will look good in and then have them hit the stores during the end of season sales so the prices are all marked down. That way, they can have a dress that will flatter their own figure that they can probably re-use in the future that also didn't cost a fortune. Best of luck with the planning.
2006-10-02 12:21:12 · answer #3 · answered by Patricia D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Traditionally the wedding party does pay for their own dresses and tuxes. At least that has been my experience. I have declined to be in weddings before because I knew I would not be able to afford the bridesmaid dress. If you give plenty of notice, however, and find tuxes and dresses that are reasonable, then most people are happy to come up with the money. One of my friends wrote us formal invitations to be in her wedding party. In the invitation was a letter stating the costs of all the dresses and when she planned to order them. She also stated that she understood if anyone had to decline. I thought that was a nice way to handle the dress situation. God bless you and your friends and family. I hope you have a great wedding!
2006-10-02 12:29:21 · answer #4 · answered by Charlee's Mama 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The wedding party is supposed to pay for their own clothing. I am going through a similar dilemma right now, what I found worked best was to find bridesmaid dresses that were cheaper than most others (most areas have bridal shows you can find bargain dresses there.) I also asked my bridal party what was in their budget so they knew I was looking out for their pocketbooks as well. As for the Tux's, there are alot of places that let you rent a tux for a day or two. you can always find cute flower girls and ring bearer outfits at target, and places like that, since the kiddos will prob. end up staining their clothing by reception anyways. :)
2006-10-02 12:18:47 · answer #5 · answered by christy_2125 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like everyone else, I think the wedding party does pay for their own stuff. If you don't want to make things too costly for people, maybe you'd like to do a casual garden wedding? If you want to go this route, pick a color, tell the girls to get dresses in the color, tell the guys to agree on a suit color and get ties in the same color of the girls dress, and just do it that way. Everyone won't look the same, but is that really such a bad thing? I think it'd be cool.
More money saving tips:
-See if the city/county you live in allows weddings in any of their parks. We're getting married in a lovely park downtown, it cost us nothing and it's so pretty that we don't need decorations. Our only cost for the actual wedding is going to be chair rentals.
-Instead of a fancy reception, have a cookout at a friend's house (or a park). It's so much more fun!
-You can actually get great flowers and boquets at Wal Mart. When my friend did that, I thought she was crazy, but they were really nice! They're cheaper than your typical florist, as long as you're ok with simple flowers, I think all roses are gorgeous, that's what my friend did.
My fiance and I are going to end up spending less than $1,000. Cookout, wedding dress off the rack on sale, ceremony in a gorgeous city park.
Good luck, and congratulations!
2006-10-02 12:59:52 · answer #6 · answered by squirellywrath 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I always thought that the wedding party paid for their own dresses and tuxes. Since they are on a budget, you could choose a dress they could wear again or choose a color and let them buy the dress they would like. As for the tuxes, shop around and I am sure you will find some sort of deal.
2006-10-02 12:13:04 · answer #7 · answered by ellikat21114 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had my wedding party pay for their own dresses and tuxes, it's perfectly okay to do. Let them know that you'd really appreciate them being there for you and if possible, can they help by purchasing all the necessary things. My husband and I found things we liked for as cheaply as possible, we didn't pick $500 tuxes and $600 dresses. We kept it simple, inexpensive and we also kept the wedding party small. I wouldn't worry too much about it, I'm sure those you are waiting to ask love you and are supportive enough to understand your situation, I'm sure if they are all able to, they won't have any problems paying for anything. One thing that also helped us, we weren't too restrictive on the details, I let the girls pick their own shoes and pick their own hairstyles and make up, I wasn't going to demand perfection when I couldn't offer to buy it all. Good luck.
2006-10-02 12:20:57 · answer #8 · answered by maldmb03 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is traditional that the wedding party pay for their own attire anyways. This is not something special you are asking them.
If you think it will be a burden for most of them, then you should not be asking them to buy outfits. Have them get dressed up in outfits and dresses and suits they already own. Tuxes are not worn for semiformal weddings-- business suits are.
Find a color that most of the women already own a dress in, and have them all wear the same color or color palette (pastels for example) rather than the same dress.
2006-10-02 16:05:50 · answer #9 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you read upon the odds of 'BIG WEDDINGS?" They are costly and most marriages don't last more than 1-2 years. The best suggestion I can lend you is..... go small, leave the big weddings for the female whose parents have the money to spend. Use your funds for your apartment/house!! Giving that your budget is small, have a small wedding and one or two people in your wedding party. The marriage is between you and your future spouse and GOD...therefore, dress as if you were standing before GOD, not your friends whom you are trying to impress!
2006-10-02 12:15:05 · answer #10 · answered by Ms-No-It-All 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋