I was innocently poking around in my gf's room the other day (I SWEAR it was only dirty curiosity; she has some dirty mags and stuff on a shelf on her nightstand) and saw something I wish I hadn't, but I did. She has something planned that I had no idea about and strongly object to her doing, and we'll leave it at that. I want her to tell me and frankly feel like she should. Is it okay to ask her about it? I really don't know what to do. What do y'all think?
2006-10-02 11:35:28 · 34 answers · asked by randyken 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ok, this is a sticky situation an it's easy to see why. (I don't need to tell you this) But here's what I would do and I'm confident that it's a good decision. You know what's going down, so tell her about it and that you don't think it's really your thing. Trust me on this, all women want is for their bf to be completely honest no matter what. Admit to her that it was wrong for you to be snooping, but that you're not sorry becasue you don't agree with what she has planned. Hope this helps and best of luck to you!
2006-10-02 11:45:03 · answer #1 · answered by conservative_rocker1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah dude, you're in a bad spot. There is no such thing as "innocently poking around". You were doing something you shouldn't be doing and because of that you really can't take the higher moral ground and "judge" whatever it is you don't like that she's planning on doing. You might be able to say something if what she's planning is of some sort of danger to her, but if it's something like hanging out with another guy or going to a party that you haven't been invited to or something like that you're pretty much going to have to just eat it if you want to keep seeing her. If you tell her you were spying on her (which is what you were doing) then she will probably drop you like a hot potato.
2006-10-02 11:42:05 · answer #2 · answered by ScubaGuy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you had no business snooping, that is what they say about snooping, careful, you may find something you really did not want to know. You should learn a very valuable lesson about this and not snoop anymore. How do you know she wasn't at some point going to tell you, and now you know and she is going to be angry that you were snooping. Snooping is for people who are insecure and if you are feeling insecure you need to get some help. you should not be with someone you do not trust. Good luck .
2006-10-02 11:39:45 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you bring it up to her, you'll have to admit to her that you've been snooping. That show's lack of trust on your part. Bad move, pal. So, maybe you should leave it alone. Unless you want your **** in a sling, I certainly don't think you should tell her anything. And fight the urge to do more snooping. It's not good for any relationship.
2006-10-02 12:07:24 · answer #4 · answered by dreamer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it was out in the open, I would ask her about it. If it was in a drawer that you do not noramlly access then I would leave it alone. Our house rule is if it is left out then it's fair game, if it is something that was tucked away and is not life endangering, then they obviouly wanted their privacy about it. If it was tucked away, watch for other signs now that you got a red flag, because they are there, they were probably just overlooked.
2006-10-02 11:39:33 · answer #5 · answered by Casey M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, I wouldn't confront her because you went through her stuff without her knowledge. If I were to be in her shoes, I'd probably be upset if my b/f went through my personal stuff. Your girlfriend won't be able to trust you. Secondly, if you've seen her stash of porn mags and etc on her night stand .. you can discuss it with your g/f freely. Just don't bring up the "thing" you didn't want to discuss on Yahoo Answers.
2006-10-02 11:41:51 · answer #6 · answered by Bobcat9 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want/expect her to be honest with you, then you have to be honest with her and let her know that you found out whatever it is that she has planned and that you completely object. Stand ur ground and be a man, do not let her control the situation and stand firmly for what you believe in. If she gets in control then she knows she can do whatever she wants and she'll know how to keep you at bay about it...if you stand up for yourself and your beliefs then she'll realize that in order for yall to be together she has to be honest and open about things and take your opinion into account....
2006-10-02 11:39:10 · answer #7 · answered by speefmoney4 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you could tell her while looking at the mags you noticed "whatever it is" and then ask her about it calmly. getting into an argument will only clam her up.
or you could bring up the "topic" in conversation and take from there. if it bothers you this bad you do need to talk about it. without honesty the relationship won't work.
2006-10-02 11:39:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not bring it up cause then she knows you invaded her space, if it is something that may cause harm to her then do so, just let her know that you care that's why you asked, but you know how us girls are if you catch us doing something or find something we will change it all around and make you out to be the bad guy! wait for her to bring it up.
2006-10-02 11:39:40 · answer #9 · answered by Island Girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow........either you wait and hope she tells you if she doesn't, without knowing what it is , I can't guide ya.........Or you can own up to your curiosity and plea forgiveness and ask her straight up.........if you end up doing this be prepared for fallout.......but if she doesn't tell you and it reguards your relationship you will have to call it quits and you really should tell her why but if you don't that is your choice! More carefully this may make or break the relationship!
2006-10-02 11:40:33 · answer #10 · answered by crownvic64 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋