Should my child be paddled?

Question

Ok this is for parents that favor spanking otherwise your vote will not be counted. I got talked into this--you are the court of final appeal.

This morning for the third day in a row my 11 year old daughter did not make her bed. I told her she was going to get a paddling when she go home.

When she came home today there was a note from her teacher. Apparently she was a hero. There was little boy who was being bullied--in fact beaten up. She intervened helped the little boy out. Turned the offender in and was very nice to the little boy. The teacher said this is really good of her because she is popular and this goes a long ways in setting an example on bullying.

I am proud of her big time. But my rule on spanking is once one is owed it is ALWAYS given. I don't think it works if there is no consistency.

However, I was playing around on this Answers thing and she suggested I throw it out. I am giving it two hours--majority rules.

This is being avidly watched here as you might expect.. And there is another hour of voting. Despite what some think I do not have a predisposed answer--I actually am looking for a way out--at least this one time. So give me some if there are any. So far the only votes I can count are in favor of the spanking. I don't want to get in a debate about spanking in general, if an eleven year old is too old, if it was bad to delay the punishment.

I will say this. The probelm is not so much the not made bed. It was that she was specifically told yesterday that if it happened again she would be in "big trouble" which is a euphemism for a spanking.

My kid does not have a problem with the rules of the whole thing. She is just real smart and got me to do this crazy vote.

ok of those votes counted it is 4-0 for the spanking. So I will go do that. I think this is the right decision. But she will be rewarded for her good work at school.

She also gets good marks for suggesting this creative gambit.

I have to wait another two hours per yahoo rules for the best answer, which I have already picked in my mind.

So now off to do the dirty dead--which I don't want to do--but....

Answer 1

hmm...i think you should stick with your rule-- yes she's a hero, but that is no reason to give up your morals!! she needs to learn, and yes, i have been spanked before an i'm even sometimes threatened by it now, but it was good for me- i don't think many american parents spank (sorry, mabye i don't know very many people) and i think it's great that you do. you shouldn't let her get out of it--it's because you love her you do it!
Best of luck!

Answer 2

I am not sure what you mean by being "paddled", but I will assume you mean spanking. She is 11 and she is consistently disobeying you about making her bed. I do believe in spanking, but I also think that your daughter is too old to be spanked. She knows better and the threat of spanking is not working. She did do something good today, and that should not go unnoticed. I suggest you tell her that she will not be "paddled" today because you have chosen to extend her grace, not necessarily because she was a hero at school today. Tomorrow give her another ultimatum, if she does not make her bed, she is grounded for the rest of the week, no t.v., has to go to bed early, whatever it is that would be effective (since the threat of a paddling is obviously not working).

Answer 3

I definitely DON'T think you should spank or paddle a child hours after they have done something wrong. By then, there is NO point. Especially after she still feels like she is a really good person for helping that kid out. Besides, paddling isn't really going to make her make her bed. How about making her go to bed without her blanket, or making her go to bed a half hour early, because she did not follow ur rules, yet again. Let her know, next time she forgets, then u will forget to do something for her, and right after homework is done, then it's right to bed.

Answer 4

even for those in favour of spanking, 11 years old is a bit too old for that. That was a really good thing she did today, you should forgo the punishment. Next time you should try a different punishment other than spanking- it might work better too (i.e. taking away tv, etc... something she likes for a certain # of days)

Answer 5

Be a hero to your child. Stand up for her and her rights just like she stood up for the boy who was being wrongly hurt.
Don't hit a child for not making their bed. Praise them instead when they do make it. Children are truly gifts. Why make a child worry over a spanking and put it up for yahoo answers. What a terrible thing to have to think about.

Answer 6

I believe in spankings, but at what age do they become inappropriate? I think that in light of what happened at school, someone is trying to get a message to you! Maybe she is too old for spankings......let's just punch her in the mouth. She is past the point of swatting her hand when she touches something she shouldn't or swatting her bottom when she doesn't make her bed! She is a young woman, treat her as such. Be creative.......what activities does she enjoy? Take away television privileges.....or phone privileges....or both. The answers are right in front of you. Add other chores such as washing the dishes on nights she forgets to make her bed? Put pressure in other areas, but stop striking the young lady........that age has passed. She isn't a baby anymore.

Answer 7

It is good that she did the right thing at school but that doesn't change the fact that she didn't do as she was told. When I was growing up my mother gave us one warning and then we faced the consequences. We didn't love her any less because of some discipline. Children have to have limitations and consequences for their actions. The problem with society the last few decades is that no one is responsible for their actions because no one holds them responsible. We now have a victim society. So she has to face the music and in the future hopefully she will realize that all actions have consequences.

Answer 8

Why don't you read this:
Your daughter feels sorry for a child that was beaten up, she helps him out and gets to go home for a beating for not making her bed? What kind of a parent are you? And she is 11? I feel sorry for her! You need to grow up!
Some children remember spanking messages more than nurturing ones. They will remember and be most influenced by the 1 hit than the 100 hugs. Hitting just devalues a child. Children need to predict the outcome in order to behave good in the future. Parents should never spank because using fear and pain is the wrong way to go about it.
Spanking is a form of violence that teaches children that inflicting fear and pain on others is a way to control their behavior. Parents who spank are out of control and are not disciplined parents. It just teaches children how to hit, how to be sneaky, how to fear, how to be ashamed and how to take anger out on others. All degrees of spanking- light, moderate, occasional, rarely, always- give children the wrong kind of attention. You want your child to follow rules because they are right and good, not to avoid punishment because they are scared and become sneaky. When parents spank, they stop their children at the lowest level of moral development. So all the idiots that recommend to spank are eroding their childs ability to be empathetic. When you react with anger to childrens' behavior, we teach them to act without considering another persons' feelings-another consequence we need to avoid. Then when your child doesn't have empathy, it is impossible for them to learn to share, play well with others, avoid angry and violent actions, and take responsibility for their actions.

Answer 9

confident I "spank" my babies with my hand. no longer the rest. A spankable offence is something which you as a discern have faith your babies did incorrect and did no longer or shouldn't study from different techniques of punishment. I never ever spank my babies on their bare bottoms yet I do in spite of the undeniable fact that for the period of their undershorts. it is extremely widely used for a baby to be spanked now days and the only one that could say its no longer is prob a baby themselves or no longer a discern. As a mom spanking is a few thing to basically be used while it is needed. I never spank my baby if there is any incorrect thank you to handle the placement. i wish that facilitates.

Answer 10

She did a good thing-great for her. She still didn't make her bed. She knew the consequences of her actions-or inactions. If you said you were gonna, then you gotta.

In the future, though, maybe offer her a reward for doing good rather than threatening her if she does bad. Works with dogs.

Answer 11

"Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him." Proverbs 22:15