also, I have a jealous streak, and no reason to have it, how do I get rid of those feelings. Years ago in his past he has cheated, how can I trust that he won't cheat on me? He says he would never go outside our relationship to explore his fantasy's without me. He wants to include me in those fantasy's. Like maybe he wants to be with a guy, or like I mentioned, for us to be with another couple. I can't stand the idea of watching him having sex with a man, let alone another woman. What should I do? We don't live together but we see each other nearly everyday and have a deep commitment for each other. I feel like I can't let him out of my site, like if we are not with each other then he will be out finding others to be with. I guess I want to trust him, and I feel like I do one second then I don't the next. I'm very confused. I don't want to break up with him but how can I let myself believe him when he says he won't do anything without me and if I don't want to we won't.
2006-10-02 11:25:09 · 22 answers · asked by darkangel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
try it you may like it
2006-10-02 11:27:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
First of all honey if he really really loved you he would never cheat on you nor he would ask you to have sex with another person I've been there done that my Ex-boyfriend went and had sex with a hooker and then we had a threesome it was the worst thing in the world I still regret it til this day don't do that because you'll feel duty and worthless and you'll feel like he never cared which is true he doesn't because he desires someone else and not you if he loved you you would be on his mind and the only one that he wants in his fantasy I'm glad that I broke up with my boyfriend because I found someone who treats me right and loves me for who I am don't let a man change you good luck and best wishes take care and I hope that you make the right decision so later you won't regret it
2006-10-02 11:37:06 · answer #2 · answered by ballar23714 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LISTEN VERY CLOSELY...He is not the right guy for you. I am certain that he knows how you feel...and his continued interest shows that he does not care. No one who loves you would ask something of you that they know makes you uncomfortable...furthermore, true love and respect for your partner means that you don't want to share them or yourself with anyone else.
I know that you will not take anyones advice on this, and that you will likely listen to your heart and not your head. But when you look back on this a few years from now when the relationship has ended and you have moved on, you will remember what I am telling you and will feel like an idiot. Don't do that to yourself; just know that you are a wiser person for having experienced it, and that you will try not to make the same relationship mistakes in the future. Everyone at some point has a relationship just like the one you are in now. In fact, I think it is a rite of passage...especially for women. Just learn from it.
Don't have group sex just to please your boyfriend. If he is unhappy with your sex life now, he always will be. He will always look elsewhere to satisfy his urges. I am sure you can do much better.
2006-10-02 11:33:37 · answer #3 · answered by Faith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you need to have a real open and honest conversation with your boyfriend. Everything concern that you have needs to be addressed with him. If you're not okay with couple sex then he should know that truthfully - don't make him think it's something you'll do if you are truely not comfortable with it. Ultimately he has to respect your feelings and if that's something he can't do, the maybe you're better off without him. You also really need to tackle the trust issues you have with him. You can't be around him 24-7 and you shouldn't be thinking about him cheating 24-7 either. It almost sounds like you trust issues stem from you boyfriend's sexual fantasies.
2006-10-02 11:39:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is no way to live. He must not be too great a guy or he would not have cheated on you already. (Just a thought, we all have momentary lapses of reason). You should tell him everything you just typed into your question. If this is something that he has his heart set on and you're not into it, he will never be completely happy in this relationship either. I suggest putting it all out on the table and seeing where it goes. No one is worth the anxiety you are living with. Your best bet might be to break up and find someone who shares your vision of a committed relationship.
2006-10-02 11:31:22 · answer #5 · answered by Mykl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The state of being bound emotionally or intellectually to a course of action or to another person or persons This is the definition of commitment. If he truly cares about you he wouldn't want you to follow a course of action you're not emotionally comfortable with. Ask him if he is bisexual. Ask if he wants to expose you to a disease? Sounds to me like he wants to use you and if you are needy you will allow it. If he wants to act out these fantasies he will with or without you. Cheating is within the male nature until they get much older. You both sound very confused. You need to kick him to the curb and concentrate on self development until a man comes along that will respect and treasure you and your feelings. Three-somes often become two-somes also only the third party may replace you.
2006-10-02 12:05:39 · answer #6 · answered by tina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you are heading down a road you do not want to travel. A relationship is based on trust and honesty ... tell him you do not feel like another couple would be anything you would be interested in. If he pressures you I would consider your options. If you do not agree to group sex then he might do it without you!
2006-10-02 11:28:29 · answer #7 · answered by Derick Graham 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already have too many trust and jealousy issues so couples sex is a very bad idea for your relationship. You have to decide if you are going to be able to trust him. If not, are you willing to continue to live like this and always feel this way?
Good Luck.
2006-10-02 11:28:29 · answer #8 · answered by LasVegasMomma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don"t you see that he still wants his cake, and eat it too! He is not ready to settle down, nor will he ever be. He has no respect for you, to ask you to do something like that, and if you do it, you may regret it for the rest of your life. since he has no respect for you , you have more respect for your self. And you know in your heart that you can't trust him, that is why you want to be with him every minute of the day. You should want more for yourself, out of life, You should be having fun, Get rid of this two timer, and let your hair down.
2006-10-02 11:40:10 · answer #9 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do anything that would make you uncomfortable. He should respect that. And if he cheats on you because of his stupid fantasies, he is not worth your time. You two should be able to fulfill each other's fantasies without any 3rd party involvement.
2006-10-02 11:29:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
personally when u love someone u dont want to see them with no one else.i think anybody who is on that has a problem.and maybe they dont love you as much as you think,but they love that they have someone who will stand to let them be involved in that bulls#it.he seems to be brain washing u into believing that its ok when its not.what good is a relationship with no trust.if you cant be without him just be his friend and see if he can handle that.let him see what he will be missing if he continues to be on that couple up scenero.i bet the minute you give in he's gonna get jealous and try to flip it on you,when he was the one who wanted it in the first place.
2006-10-02 11:37:58 · answer #11 · answered by nova44307 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋