... well im frustrated (I think?)but I def. lack self confidence
Ok im only a 19 yr old going to be 20 in a couple of weeks and I may not be Cristiano Ronaldo when it comes to looks but im not a horses **** either.
E.g -
Im going home on the bus and that morning I got up late so much that I didnt even have time to wash my hair but it looked clean and didnt have any bits sticking out and I was in a rush I had to just mess with it.
On the bus home when this really hot girl sits in front of me and I felt so ugly so I started reading the paper on the bus, but as im reading she is checking me out with her eyes. I almost felt like saying "whats wrong with me" but I didnt I just smiled back and she smiled again. This lasted 4 10 mins with out either of us talking. 2 mins b4 the bus stopped this old guy cracked a joke and we both laughed to it and we talked a little. She got off the bus and wiggled her bum @ me and IM IN NO WAY A PLAYER but I thought why cant I be more confident...
2006-10-02 10:46:33 · 8 answers · asked by Music fan 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
.. I miss the feeling of being in love and having someone who you feel so happy with.
I did get some offers from hot girls just after my ex of 9 months broke up with me but I was still hung up on my ex so I turned them down becuase at the time it was only a month after my ex. and my ex. was the first person I ever really loved and the one who I thought I was going to be my 1st time. The girl on the bus was sexy, talkative, bubbly and was checking me out (maybe only flirty) but still because she was stunning and I dont think that much of myself looks wise she made me feel hot and we did get on, once talking
I want to be with sme1 go to the movies with sme1 go on a night out with sme1 who thinks im ace.
Do I sound like im desperate?
I want to be with someone but I dont just want it to be the first 'hot' one who I get on with.
How can I beef up my confidence to just talk to women like her on the bus without being so self conscious?
How can I show the 'real' me without being so shy??
2006-10-02 10:58:42 · update #1
Im very loving and caring and sweet and have been described by one of my mates (a girl) as a ladies man because Im very attentive to how a woman feels and WOW im romantic.
I would love to take some1 on a horse ride into the distance and then take a hot air ballon ride as the sun sets and as we land we have a meal under the stars and then lay under them as music plays in the background (cos I brought a cd player lol)and we just hold each other and tell each other hwo are heart feels.
Maybe Ive listened to many love songs and seen many movies like 'the notebook' and 'a walk to remember' but deep down a romantic guy with a massive heart and loads of love to give is what I am but Im too shy to show my true colours so I only show my honest, trustworthy side to my pals and fun side when we go on a boys night out, but deep down I cant show the real me!!! Ive only ever done it with my ex. and it was great but we fell apart because we live faraway from each other
How can I show the real me?
2006-10-02 11:07:22 · update #2
u seem to have a lot going for yourself..but ur the only one who can't see it. :) this is the case with most people i believe..so first of all stop beating urself up!!! u just need to change ur mentality so that u can see the Positive things instead of the Negatives.
the more u work on urself, the better u will feel. *trust me*.
so having said that, work on:
1) your appearance: work out. exercise. take care of ur body. take care of ur skin. get new haircut. try on new clothes. buy Flattering, stylish clothes, make u feel good and look good.
2) your mind: study. read more. learn more about current events. find a hobby, and excel at it. the more u KNOW, the easier it will be for you to develop your own ways of thinking, as well as be able to TALK w/ others about it.
3) your relationships: as u build ur confidence in urself, and keep in mind to be Open Minded, Non Judgemental to others..... u will be able to speak out more, talk to ur friends, family members, practice talking about anything and everything u are learning, or find out what they are interested in. the more u practice, the easier it will be for u to do that with Strangers, or friends of friends, and not feel as shy...because remember, 1 & 2, u are already working on ur appearance and your brain, so u don't have as much to be "scared" about.
:) good luck...the more Positive attitude u have (remember, u can Always change something if u make a mistake, u can learn from it, u can always grow, and do something different tomorrow), the more opportunity u will have in ur life. confidence will lead to easier job interviews, class discussions, making friends, getting to know teachers, etc etc.... huge impact on ur life. but getting over ur shyness is the first step, and working on ur confidence will help u become less shy.
2006-10-04 04:56:51 · answer #1 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Damn you missed a perfect opportunity!
Never mind learn from your mistakes, she was checking you out cos you are hot, not because theres somrthing wrong with you. Go out, walk down the street and tell yourself I'm hot, they're all looking coz I'm worth it! When you start believing that yourself you will have the confidence to take the lead with girls.
Keep smiling at people, talk when your spoken to, start convos if you have to, remember that most peoples confidence is all an act in the first place.
Also remember that not all girls like loud brash arroagant men anyway, and being a bit shy is quite endearing. Good Luck!
2006-10-02 10:54:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't say I think much of Cristiano Ronaldo actually...
Obviously if you attract the attention of what you consider to be a "really hot girl", you have something to offer physically.
To be honest, even if you were a horse's ****, someone would loveya!
The thing with girls is that we tend to like guys based on personality. With me, I fall for a guy's personality, and subsequently find them physcially attractive, rather than vice versa.
Having confidence in yourself is certainly not easy. I have no confidence in myself either, but I'm slowly working on this. I guess the majority of improvement comes from replacing your negative cognitions about yourself with positive ones. Imagine all the bad things you think about yourself on post it notes stuck all over your body. Then peel them off one at a time, and replace them with positive ones. If you don't feel you can do this, ask a friend or family member to tell you some of your positive traits, and use these.
I'll start you off. Take off one about not being good looking, and replace it with "hot girls look at me and smile when I'm on the bus minding my own business". Not a bad start.
Self-confidence is achieved through success. If you can ride a bike without falling off, your confidence grows, if you get an A grade in Maths, your confidence in your ability grows. If you get smiles and attention from "hot girls" your dating confidence will grow.
One bit of advice: Confidence is attractive. I know that from watching confident people's success in comparison to that of shy individuals. So if you're not confident, pretend to be. Also, psychological studies have shown that if you smile, you feel happier, if you cross your arms you feel more close-minded and repressed etc, so if you're smiling and acting confident, you will begin to feel happier and more confident. Pretty cool huh?
Well anyway, I'll stop blabbering. But don't be in any hurry to date, because it'll all happen when it's supposed to. Just have faith in yourself.
Good luck xXx
2006-10-02 11:04:53 · answer #3 · answered by old_but_still_a_child 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like you haven't got anything to be 'unconfident' about, if you can get up, go out without doing your hair and still be attractive to the girls...
Get on out there and enjoy yourself!
2006-10-02 10:49:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
awwww i'd serously help you but i haven't had much luck with dating myself. i'm a single 15 year old wit stretch marks and a fat @$$. all the guys at my school are jerks
2006-10-02 10:51:42 · answer #5 · answered by (((uniquely.me))) 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
shes trying to get u to notice her
2006-10-02 10:48:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2006-10-02 10:53:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
KNOB!
2006-10-02 10:49:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋