How do I stop my 20mnth old girl biting?

Question

I've tried everything i can think of but have run out of ideas, i only had this problem with my son once and sorted it out quite quickly, any suggestions

Answer 1

Everyone is going to tell you to bite back. Bad advice. Biting is a common behavior in most toddlers and increases when a child is tired or frustrated. You should never bite back or overreact when it happens. Toddlers like the reaction. You have to teach your child that it is unacceptable behavior. You could give them these steps:
Some steps to take when your child bites include:

Immediately look her in the eye and give her a loud and firm 'NO.' You may also move her to another area for a time out. Let her know that it is never all right to bite another person because it hurts.
Supervise your child closely when she is with other children, so that you can distract her or interrupt any behavior that may lead to biting.
It is important to not overreact and never bite your child back. Biting her back or using physical punishment will just reinforce that it is okay to hurt others.
Give her lots of praise when she controls herself and doesn't bite.
Biting back will only fuel her anger and cause aggression. Ignore all these dumb people that recommend to bite back. They obviously aren't educated on child development.
I studied this in school:
Children's hands are tools for exploring, an extension of the child's natural curiosity. Biting them back sends a powerful negative message. Sensitive parents that were interviewed all agree that the hands should be off-limits for physical punishment. Research supports this idea. Psychologists studied a group of sixteen fourteen-month-olds playing with their mothers. When one group of toddlers tried to bite another child. They received a bite on the hand; the other group of toddlers did not receive this form of physical punishment. In follow-up studies of these children seven months later, the punished babies were found to be less skilled at exploring their environment. Better to separate the child from the object or supervise his exploration and leave little hands unhurt. I retrieved this off of the child abuse site: Child abuse is physical -- shaking, hitting, beating, burning, or biting a child.

Answer 2

First, don't laugh or scream when she bites, especially when she is biting a sibling (If your husband or other relative is laughing every time she nails your son, you need to talk to them, They are part of the problem). This will encourage the 20 month old and cause a grudge with the sibling. Just tell her it is wrong, punish her or give hre a time out and move on with life. The less attention the better.
Instead start including her in some routine that you are busy with, like cleaning (she can start puttin gtoys in a box an dplaying like she is sweeping washing, ...)
The younger two children in my family were the biters. The eldest was an only child for 7 years and was pretty bossy. So the young ones bit her. I did not put up with it much. It is a terrible habit that will break down trust between the biter and all of his/her bitees. It is anti-social and a stab at dominance and control, yet it is going to earn the biter not only power, but a bad reputation. People, even children, will usually rise to your expectations. so expect better and do not in any way endorse the biting; which I know you are not doing consiously, but even negative attention is better than none at all.
Which is why if the person who is being bitten is allowed to "correct" the little bitee (without biting themselves) and NO adult was allowed to take up for the little chomper, the biting would come to an end rather quickly. You might want to just stop it from occuring, by looking into why she is biting and whom she is biting. If she is biting you, she wants attention and control. If she is biting your son, you need to watch them together and see what is going on. He may be overly dominant and she is just trying to defend herself ... if that is the reason you need to show her a better way to handle the situation, because biting just can never be acceptable. Your son also needs to be corrected.
It is always better to prevent behaviors by distracting and refocusing little ones attention. Separating her from her brother for a while might also help, because you want her to learn correct social behaviors and how to deal with her frustrations, you may have to give her a lot more of your time for a week or two to "redirect", if you catch my drift. It will be the best time spent. Since your son was your first child this may be why you corrected him so easily ... you invested the time without thinking about it. Now he is a distraction when dealing with his sister.

If she is in day care all day, you will most certainly have to spend some time with her. You might even need to talk to her care givers and see if she is biting others there also. But do all of this without permitting the kid to know what you are doing. Don't make this a big attention getting deal. BE clear, it is a no-no and is not permitted. But do try to find out why she does it and avoid the situation when possible.
This is the not recommended way:
Back before all this enlightenment a small nephew of mine began biting everyone he was mad at. He did it from about 2 to 4 years old. One day he (at about 4 years of age) bit my daughter during a family renunion at our house and ran to his mommy who then asked what my daughter had done to him. I said nothing, but told him to give my daughter back her toy and stay out of her room. When his mom left and I was setting the table, the little bugger bit me on my butt. Without thinking I turned around, grabbed him up, and forced my arm down his mouth. I did this all the time with puppies that bit anyone and they all learned not to do it after 2 times. Well, it only took my little nephew once. He never bit anyone in my house again. Don't think he's forgiven me either.

Answer 3

Absolutely bite her back, but make sure you follow-up by pointing to where she bit you are say No Biting so she understands what happened. Worked for my daughter, she stopped biting real quick. Someone said to enforce consequences, well pain & pleasure are about the only consequence a 20-month old understands. And, do not start feeling sorry later and go and start apologizing and giving extra attention..this will encourage the behavior and undermine your authority as a parent in the future. Guaranteed if she keeps biting other kids will gladly bite her back and much harder.

Answer 4

hello there,

My daughter is 26 months old now and she also went through a biting stage. She used to get so frustrated she would bite. anything! I tried the biting back as advised but it didnt seem to work. She always gets really upset when myself or her Daddy (pretends to ) cry. We would explain to her that it really hurts and eventurally she stopped. Along with a bit of supernannys time out it worked at treat.

Answer 5

Don't bite her back! It just makes things worse. My nephew who lives very close to me and who is almost all the time at my house (2 years old) always bites people. We used to bite him back but this only resulted him biting more! Now his mother gives him punishment like taking his toys and he kind of understands it. He doesn't bite as much as before, but he still does from time to time.

I think you just have to be patient at this moment and try to explain him in a way he would understand that biting is not a good behavior. Even a 2-year-old understands stuff when explained in a proper way.

Answer 6

This probably isn't what's happening to you, but I once had a little girl in my young preschool class--a very precocious 14 months--who was biting the other children, but I couldn't figure out when she would do it because she never seemed to be angry for any reason. And on top of that, children that age usually resort to physical agression because they lack the ability of verbal expression. This was not the case with this girl because, as I said before, she was very advanced. She was so smart it was spooky.

Then one day I watched her like a hawk, and I saw her very gently and tenderly lean over to get near a baby, and then she bit him on the head. And then it dawned on me! She was trying to kiss him, not bite him! So I re-taught her how to kiss people, and she never bit anyone again.

Again, probably not what's happening to you, but it's an interesting story, I think.

Anyway, have you tried modeling a verbal behavior to substitute for the biting? OK, in plain english, that means teach her to say "mine" or "no" or "I want that" instead of biting. Find out what she wants, and teach her to say that, so that she can verbally express herself instead of biting.

Biting her back would probably work, but I wouldn't recommend it. For one thing, she'll probably only refrain from biting people when you're around. Second, she's going to experience enough pain and fear in this world. She doesn't need to learn that you are a source of pain and fear. What she needs from you is dependability.

Answer 7

I have five kids, all grownups now, and never had this problem.
However, I think your toddler is only wanting your attention and
knows no better, except that biting draws the result she wishes.
Try something else, I would suggest that you should turn your back
to her and walk away. If she cries let her, and give no attention to
her woes. A 20month old baby is not all that dumb, she will know
when you are pleased or annoyed with her, and soon will change
her act, and when she does please you, let her know with your
hugs and loving tender care.

Answer 8

my son is 21 months and just went thru this stage,he was getting his back teeth at the time & I think thats why he was doing it,I gently put my mouth on his arm like I was gonna bite him & he laughed at me,aww he's so cute..but after he bit my other 2 boys alot I did bite him but not hard just enough to show him,also I told my other 2 if he's gonna bite say NO,he understands no...it will pass.

Answer 9

Hi take her hand place it on the bitten area ie on the other persons hand or face-get her to stroke the area and say 'nice' ah! nice and make a point of it-She will stop doing it you just need to show her how-It always works

Answer 10

It is just a phase, don't do anything radical.......if she bites hard enough to really hurt anyone just react by telling her that hurts. She will soon grow out of it......hang in there! Oh and don't let her get your fingers in her mouth!