Last year my mother in-law made a huge deal out of me wanted a snack before dinner, which ultimately led to me walking out on Thanksgiving dinner. I couldn't take being called names, and getting yelled at like I was a little kid. Now I want to make things right so our family can move on and have a happy holiday season. How do I apologize eventhough I don't feel like I am the one that needs to apologize?
2006-10-02 09:18:25 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well..you are in a touchy situation. Mother in laws can either be good or bad, in this case, I think it may have been a good mother in law in a stressed out situation which she took out on you? I don't blame you for being hurt and pissed off about the way that you were treated for wanting a snack before dinner...you are a grown woman for crying out loud, not a child. You are right for those feelings. And, I believe that you are being the bigger person by taking the step to make things right. Kissing her *** is not the way to go here I think, however, I would go to her and tell her that while you aren't apologizing to her, you would appreciate it if you could put what is in the past behind you so that the family could move on and have a good holiday season this year. Just let bygones be bygones. See where it goes, and see if maybe that prompts her to come out and say she is sorry for treating you the way she did. Maybe she is just being stubborn because she feels like such an ***. good luck and God bless...
2006-10-02 09:20:17 · answer #1 · answered by pamalamadingdong_1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't sincerely feel that you owe her an apology then don't even try - you will sound/seem insincere and you will end up feeling even more resentful. Now, if you think it will help you could invite her to lunch at a quiet restaurant and tell her that you regret the way the holiday turned out last year. Tell her that you want to put it behind you and move on to a better relationship. How do you think she would respond? Be prepared for her to lay the blame for last year squarely on you - so be ready with a reply that indicates you regret the situation without accepting the blame (and without blowing up at her.) If you can't do that then just leave it alone. Good luck!
2006-10-02 16:54:54 · answer #2 · answered by Pam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't apologize. It's all water under the bridge by now.
Just bring your mother-in-law a special bouquet of flowers at Thanksgiving and say, "These are for you".
It's a fine gesture and no words need to be spoken. She'll get the idea without you even bringing up such a sore subject. Then you all can concentrate on having a happy holiday.
2006-10-02 16:21:36 · answer #3 · answered by Angela 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep it simple. If she was the one doing the cooking, or even a significant part of the work, she probably was stressed out and wanting to make sure everyone enjoyed the meal she'd prepared. She probably isn't too proud of her own behavior, but you don't need to mention any of that. Tell her you're sorry you walked out, but don't mention the reasons why. (Honestly, that was not the most mature response on your part; it would have been better to respond by saying the smell of her delicious cooking was making you so hungry you couldn't stand it.) Just say that you feel bad about missing out on what was surely a fantastic meal because she's such an awesome cook, and you'll make sure that doesn't happen again.
2006-10-02 16:30:07 · answer #4 · answered by fyrfly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't apologize because clearly she is in the wrong. But what you can do, is go to her and start a conversation about what happened. Let her know that you didn't realize that your wanting a snack before dinner was going to upset her and cause so much drama, and you want to let her know you won't ask to eat before the meal again. Hopefully that will spark her to at least semi-apologize, but if it doesn't at least you've opened the lines of communication so that the holidays won't be awkward.
2006-10-02 16:21:38 · answer #5 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe instead of apologizing and bringing it up again (for fear of another argument), you could just start visiting her or calling her and acting like nothing happened. Be calm and reasonable. Make her see that you're moving past it without actually bringing it up again. Show her that you are mature and willing to start fresh again. Show up for Thanksgiving again this year, and if she starts calling you names or being rude, just turn your back to her or leave the room and ignore her. Do not make a scene. If you say nothing, everyone else will see that she is the one doing wrong, not you. Be the bigger person and kill her with kindness. It works!
2006-10-02 16:22:03 · answer #6 · answered by nido_tr3s 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look the besy way to opologize is just to say I am sorry if my actions last year offended you and Iam also sorry it took me so long to say this. Now can we please move on and try to get along. It woul d mean alot to me and ______(insert wifes name)
Most likely this will do the trick but it is her choice to forgive you or not. Oh and I know it is not a big deal to get a snack but just try to think of why it buged her so much. Like if there were kids in the house and she didnt want to set a bad example or something like that. Just try to be open minded and dont go into it thinking she is the bad guy. It is not fair to put your wife in this situation. Good Luck
2006-10-02 17:05:04 · answer #7 · answered by LEAH 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go visit with her before the holiday's, and tell her how the name calling and the snack, and feeling like a little kid she made you feel like then, and tell her, you know you have grown in this last year and you hope she has to, and your in deep hopes you and your whole family can have a great holiday season this year!!
2006-10-02 16:21:57 · answer #8 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. Open mouth.
2. Say "I'm sorry.
It doesn't matter that you were right and she was wrong. You're simply looking for a little peace between the two of you. Sometimes taking the blame is a cost of maintaining relationships, but it won't kill you.
And good for you for taking the first steps!
2006-10-02 16:26:50 · answer #9 · answered by Privratnik 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let her know you want to be friends by treating her like one. Act like it never happened. Call her up on occasion with some quirky question or just think of a subject and start talking.
2006-10-02 17:21:41 · answer #10 · answered by Frankie P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋