Ok, this is the deal. My friend who is 36 has a 14 year old daughter. She was married to her daughter's father until his tragic death in 2002 ( car accident ). She is now pregnant with her boyfriend's ( 37) first child. How does she tell her daughter this. She is a very sensitive girl, and has never really liked her mom's boyfriend. She needs answers now.
2006-10-02 09:13:43 · 15 answers · asked by ? 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Have her explain to her daughter that she is going to be a big sis and see if she can help decorate the babies room and she tell her that she needs to involve her daughter in every step of this pregnancy from visits to hear the heart beat to ultra sounds to see the baby to when the baby is delivered. The more she involves and tries to involve her daughter the more accepted she will be of becoming a big sis and not just knowing that she is on the side lines waiting to get some attention. Make sure that the mothers b/f also helps involve her daughter with stuff to show her that they are a real family.
2006-10-02 09:22:47 · answer #1 · answered by medevilqueen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, she could look at this as an excellent opportunity to open the communication up with her daughter about the birds & bees, responsibililty, etc. Of course, she apparently wasn't practicing safe sex and look what happened. Lucky for her it wasn't an STD but instead a wonderful new life. Maybe she could point out to her daughter that she is not perfect and look what happened, but also discuss how she will be responsible now in raising the child. I'm rambling here, but what I really want to say is that it does provide mom and her daughter a real-time experience of relationships and how to deal with consequences of your actions. Hopefully the daughter gets some great life lessons through the vicarious experience of her mom's pregnancy.
2006-10-02 16:29:09 · answer #2 · answered by hotandtastylady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first she should start off by telling her daughter that she loves her dad very much and always will. Then tell her that in this relationship she has become pregnant and will be having a brother or sister in the future. she should tell her that it will be fun shopping for baby clothes and furniture. She can help pick names and decorate the room for the baby. She can tell her that she understands that she does not really care for her boyfriend and that no matter what she will always be there for her.she should should tell her that he may not always be in their life only time will tell but the baby will always be thiers. If she involves her in some decisions and maybe let her go to some doctor appointments she wont feel so left out.
2006-10-02 16:27:15 · answer #3 · answered by marilee w 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, this is a sticky one, I guess another reason to be careful. 1st the mom needs to decide is this relationship going to become a committment, because how she responds to this could be how her daughter responds to something. The daugher loves her real dad, and no one can ever replace him, so she may want to ask the daughter why she does not like him and probably go to a counselor, most churches offer free counseling, even to set up an appointment to speak with the school counselor. She will be showing soon enough, but she needs to be honest and tell her daughter to ask any questions, which I am sure she will and be prepared for anything. Good Luck.
2006-10-02 16:20:58 · answer #4 · answered by whattheheck 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Ok, the best way would be to just TELL HER. She is a child and she doesn't have to accept anything, just tell your friend that she needs to TELL her daughter about the baby but insure her that this is only going to bring them all together to make them stronger....like a tripod! If the dad is planning on moving in then I would say like a chair...instead of a tripod!
2006-10-02 16:33:12 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs_Rivera2U 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would do this: Take daughter out for dinner. Tell her is an special occasion ( dressed up, fancy restaurant). Buy a pair of baby shoes and in the middle of the dinner, make the announcement showing her the little baby shoes. Tell her she is going to be a sister!
How's that sound?
2006-10-02 16:24:14 · answer #6 · answered by ♥ Karen ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be honest with her. she will figure it out for herself in
a little while anyway. as for the boyfriend, find out
what it is about him she doesn't like. if it is just that
she doesn't want anyone replacing her dad get some
counseling for you both. do not assume this is what
the problem is. there are men out there who would not
be averse to romancing a mother just to get at her
daughter. most are not like that, but the ones who are
do not wear a sign so do not take chances.
2006-10-02 16:28:11 · answer #7 · answered by agedlioness 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should just come out with her statment. The daughter willunderstand but if not she will probably get mad and flip about it and in time she would cool off.
2006-10-02 16:24:26 · answer #8 · answered by wickboom333 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her without the boyfriend present. Take her to lunch and treat her like an adult. She will need big sister's help.
2006-10-05 18:48:52 · answer #9 · answered by blazenphoenix 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
explain that mom needs to move on and that dad wouldnt want her to sit around and cry forever. she will have to adjust to the situation
2006-10-02 16:16:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋