how do i get a shy guy to open up??

Question

well, i like this nerd from skool adn he;s really cute and different from other guys. he's not the type to come up to a girl adn start talkin to her...he's really shy. i told him that i liked him adn now all he does is just look at me... what do i do??? pleeeeez help me

Answer 1

When I was a teenager I was extremely shy and a nerd too.
But shy nerds can be quite different from each other. A strategy that works on one might totally fail on another.
If he looks at you that's a good sign.
You should definately take it slowly. Be friendly and not too direct or even aggressiv.
Someone said you should avoid "alone situations". I don't know about him but for me it was the other way around. The more people were around when a girl talked about her feelings towards me the more difficult it was for me. Like when performing on a stage. The bigger the audience the more nervous you get.
Many nerds are used to people making fun of them. So avoid situations like e.g. when you talk about him with your girlfriends at a place where he can see you and your friends start to giggle and look at him. He might misinterpret that.
It might help if he believed that you are also somewhat shy and nervous when you talk about your feelings.
Remember for a shy guy it is easy to just stay quiet and say nothing, saying yes or taking actions is difficult. So make it difficult for him to say no e.g. when you are alone with him in a room tell him with a soft, friendly and maybe shy sounding voice that you like him and ask him if he likes you too. And then instead of saying something like "just say yes if you like me" say "if you don't like me then just say so"

Answer 2

Take it slow.
Don’t get frustrated.
I am very gregarious by nature it always amazed me that people could be shy.

My best friend is shy she explained it like this imagine knowing what you want to say but having laryngitis and not being able to say it.

Try asking small questions about some thing you think he would like.
Bring him a little preset every once in a while.
Rubber ball (it works)
Candy
Flower

Spend time just being quiet around him but in the same space.

Shy people need to feel comfortable with you before they feel confident enough to open up.

Be patient!
Be very patient!
Be very very patient!

If you can do this the reward will be immense because you will have earned his trust.
He will know that he can talk to you with out fear of saying the wrong thing or being made fun of.

Answer 3

Give a compliment once in a while, and make positive observations. Show your interest not by talking about your feelings (feelings-talk is too scary for most guys) but rather by paying attention to things he does, his skill, his talents, etc. he is obviously hiding his personality behind his anxiety and fear of rejection. I know, it's annoying, but everyone has some degree of social anxiety, and his is higher.
Ask him questions about what he thinks of a topic, what he would do in a situation, and how he perceives something. Get hin to talk about himself. Make more positive observations. ask him if he would help you with something (an assignment) or if he would enjoy accompanying you to an activity (cat show, coffee bar, play, etc). Keep it social and light, and in public.
Avoid "alone" situations with him, and "feelings" talk. This only creates pressure on him, and is scary to him. Do something that engages you both (darts, pool, rackettball, etc) where the focus is not on him or on you.
Cater to his ego, his sense of accomplishment, his easygoing and accepting nature, etc. If he feels good about himself and accepted around you, he will want to be around you more.
Let him open up at his own pace. Some guys are more slow to open up for fear of intimacy issues, rejection, lack of confidence, social anxiety, etc. Just be there and pretend he's normal, and he will eventually start to act that way.

Answer 4

Eventhough he's a nerd there has to be something you could break the ice with. Just go up to him and tell him how you feel, after you do that tell even if he's shy that to grow some balls and make a move and eventually he's going to feel pressured, and most likely he's gonna stop being shy and he's gonna try to make the most of the situation!!

Answer 5

Ok sinced u already told him u make the first move if he is too shy write a note or aget a friend to ask him out for u and see if he is interested

Answer 6

Let him know, in subtle ways, that it is okay for him to talk to you. Be really friendly and open to all of his behaviors and everything he says. I would say try being his friend first.. just talk to him without any pressure of going on a 'date'. Just say hi to him a lot and be really friendly. Once he gets more comfortable with you things will happen :)

Answer 7

i think first u have to find out what he is real interested and talked about all the stuff when he really enjoyed conversation with u and he will realize she's really my type and i want to have relationship with her i mean u after when he will talk with more often and express Ur feeling to him. he will definitely do the same thing.. good luck!

Answer 8

Nerds like the movies. Ask him to a movie. This way you get to be with him one to one where he may not be so shy and withdrawn.

Good luck!

Answer 9

I wld say, just keep talking to him.
Start the conversation. But don't let it sound like you are nagging.
Because he's shy? I guess you just have to make the move first.

Answer 10

I think you should just go up to him and be real friendly. Talk to him like a friend and in time he will open up. He just needs to get comfortable with you.