Parents ONLY--Does this seem fair?

Question

This is hypothetical.

You just found out your sixteen year old son/daughter was neglecting to do her school work and is currently failing her math class. You ask the teacher if the work that she didn’t do could be made up for partial credit and if he/she could redo the work. The teacher says he/she doesn’t give out partial credit. You make your son/daughter redo all the work and take all the tests over again that he/she missed even though he/she can’t turn them in for any credit. Does this seem like a fair punishment to you? If not, what how would you punish your child?

The child already had everything taken away before this. It wasn't a matter of simply not having time to do homework--it was a matter of just not doing it.

Answer 1

It does seem fair but I have to wonder how it would have gotten that far without it being noticed.
I can only look at this from my point of view. I am the mother of a 13 yer old girl who needs constant handholding. I know all her assignments, when they are due and when they are missing. If she is failing due to missing homework, it is also my responsibility as a parent. It would be fair for the teacher to allow partial credit for the make up work but is should only be a one-shot deal. The daughter will also face the consequence of loss of trust. What 16 year old wants her parents micromanaging her homework? If she wants to avoid it, she needs to prove responsibility.

Answer 2

This seems fair to me. In fact, my daughter is 8 years old and already in that habit (not the one of not doing her work). When she brings home unfinish school work I make her complete it and take it back to the teacher. So what if she doesn't get it graded all the time. My therory; it was assigned to help reinforce the lessons being taught so she can complete it and further cement the concepts into her brain. No harm came from too much practice.

Doing it as a punishment, yea. Because the work was required so it should be done! Most adults can't go to work, not work and still get paid for it. School is the child's job! Not to mention how else will the child learn these concepts being taught? However I think the parent should have been more on top of things, making sure homework is done nightly - parent teacher conferences etc. Parents need to play a very active role in their child(rens) lives. Not just when something bad or very good happens, I mean 24/7! And I think more punishment should occur than just doing the required work; extra credit, community service, groundations, take away prized possessions that sort of thing. Make the child not want to mess up again.

Answer 3

I think the teacher is being profoundly unfair. They should be willing to give partial credit. The whole point of school is to learn something. By making up the work she would be learning what she should have been doing.

I am also critical of the teacher that they let it go as long as they apparently did. The parents should have been notified before it got out of hand.

I do think it was proper for the parents to require their daughter to make up the work anyway. I would have done the same. And I would not have considred this punishment. This was something that was suppossed to have been done anyway. So it is not really a penalty. Furthermore, as I mentioned, the whole point is to learn the subject. By making up the work she is learning.

There would be a punishment metted out by me. Though probably every single person will disagree with me, mine would get a paddling. Other parents might wish to do grounding or something like that. However, I think there should be a punishment--and I don't consider making up the work to be punishment.

So I guess I say it is not only fair--but not quite enough.

Answer 4

I think that reaction would be fair and appropriate....but where where is the punishment?

Making your child do what they were supposed to do in the first place is not punishment. It is seeing to their education.

What are they doing instead of homework....I'd remove that. Not only as punishment, but as a natural consequence.

School must be the first priority. If they can't handle other things they should be removed....including sports, jobs (I'm highly against children working in the school year), or anything else.

STAY ON TOP OF THE STUDENT. Keep in touch with the teacher from here on out and be sure the kid is handing in their work!

Until the student can be responsible, I'd say no TV, computer time, telephone until the homework is completed EACH night and you see it. Find out when test dates are and consider a tutor if needed

Answer 5

If it is a matter not just doing the work, then there has to be a problem somewhere. It could be anything from negligence on the part of the parent to the kids laziness to do the work and it can be both, bottom line whatever the teacher has given the kid may it be fair or not is still fair. Teachers are there to teach and it is not an easy job let alone get your attention to listen. W often blame someone else for our failure and that the punishments given to us is not just, but have we really contemplated on the fact why this matters have transpired, I am also guilty of such, so I maybe in the position to tell if it is so.............and I am telling you it is so.

Answer 6

The child still needs to know the material that they didn't do. This will effect everything that they learn in the following grades. One thing leads to another. So don't look at making up the material as punishment, rather work that needs to be done so future work is understood.

As far as the teacher not giving out partial credit. I do think that the teacher should. However, the teacher is probably trying to teach the child that you must pay the consequence. You don't get many second chances in life- learn that now.

Answer 7

You can't live for your children. If the child isn't concerned about failing the class, don't stress yourself. Sometimes kids have to suffer the consequences of their actions, or in this case their non-actions, to appreciate the outcome. With all that is going on at the age of 16, it is possible that it was just an oversight. If the child is not managing their time to facilitate homework, then dictate the time frames to help them! Don't make it an end all be all thing.......maybe there is something going on behind the scenes that is dwarfing the whole school thing. Just talk to the child and tell him/her that you are only looking out for their best interests and you will love them even if they fail a math class!! Also, remember that kids pick up things at different rates......maybe the child mastered the formulas a little late!

Answer 8

As a parent and a teacher, I agree with this. Not because it is punishment, but because a child needs to know that they should do the work even if they are not getting credit for it. It is also helping them practice the skill and they will be ready the next time.

Answer 9

“Learning can only happen when a child is interested. If he’s not interested it’s like throwing marshmallows at his head and calling it eating." I don't know who said this, but it's true, it seems to me.

We unschool and this perspective causes me to think I would just leave the child to suffer the consequences.

If the child really wants to learn math, he/she will.

If the child really needs math for college and really wants college, he/she'll learn it.

I would not add any punishment as the parent, I would lay out what the consequences are vis a vis school rules and the future and let them decide what to do.


I have to laugh to find myself agreeing with those funky 1960s educators who said grades were bad, but I finally get it.
I realized that I could cram for a German exam in high school and ace it, but a week later have forgotten most of my new vocabulary words. My friend studies like crazy, but is much slower to learn, can't cram and cough up results. So, on test day, she gets a b or c. but by the end of the year, she can write much better german than I. Why is it fair that each semester, I got a higher grade than her? What do our grades mean about what we've learned? Nothing.

Why should you get an F on a test because you didn't understand a subject one week and did understand it three weeks later for no credit or encouragement.

I believe in leaving the education to the child (tho obviously in our home, the children could not avoid books, ideas, debates - intellectual curiosity.)

Through unschooling, my oldest son has developed an extensive understanding of European history - it began to get very in depth when I told him I didn't want to get him the books he was asking for on the Vikings because Vikings were violent plunderers. He said, "Mom, tell me a european culture that didn't commit violent plunder and I'll study them."

So began his reading of Icelandic and other Norse sagas, thousands of pages of this, Norse myths, then Russian and Turkish history because the brother of St. Olaf travelled there when Olaf will killed in battle. This went on to in-depth study of WWI and WWII, including the memoirs of many a soldier: Black Edelweiss was an incredible memoir of a19 year old SS soldier that will make you weep for the boy.

I can't bring up one historical point without him challenging my beliefs, and when we look up his research, by golly, he's usually right and I only know what I was told in school, and he's read the real deal sources.

He's 13. He can do the math he needs to to pass the required state exam yearly. He will do the math he needs to to get into college. I've no doubt.

His little brother loves math and is always asking for math problems. Conceptually, he's on par with his bro and probably has been exposed to more mathematical concepts because he seeks them out. After a long ride in the car with his bro and I, he's heard all the history/politics he cares to.

Having peer time is not an issue either: They are both in two drama workshops that meet a total of 16 hours a week, and the oldest is currently filming a pilot for a proposed pbs kids' show, he's in a teen group that meets weekly, and chess club that meets weekly and...

Answer 10

I think it is a very fair and reasonable punishment, if you want to call it that. My girls, ages 10 & 13 still need attention when it comes to doing homework. Not because they don't understand it, but they think playing outside/ talking on the phone are more important. This is why they have 1 hour of study time each day regardless if they have homework or not. They still take tests, so this is a good way for them to prepare for them. It also helps them maintain a good grade point average, especially if they want to participate in sports or extracuricular activities. After their study time, if their homework is done, then they have free time to do as they wish.
For those of you who said you would spank your child, my question is this. What point would you get across to a 16 year old by spanking him/her? I don't believe in spanking my kids, but I don't look down on those who do. I don't think them not turning in their homework calls for physical punishment, but that is just my opinion.