We are breaking up about 3 months after our engagement party. We did not receive expensive gifts but some people gave $50-$100 to congratulate us on our engagement. Obviously a large portion of the money we received went to pay for the party. How should I handle this?
2006-10-02 08:51:40 · 23 answers · asked by oek j 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think that I might be offended if someone gave me the money I had given them as a present back to me. I probably just hand it back to them, tell them to go do some retail therapy, spend the day in the spa, and then call me when they're done so that we can go out and have some bar therapy that night too. It think that it would just be awkward. I mean, if the people already know, they'll probably just understand....and besides, money doesn't last that long when theres bills to be paid (lets face it, 3 months have gone past and there is virtually no money left, right? Why dig into your own pocket to pay back a present?)
Maybe I'm just selfish, but whatever...call me what you want. I just don't think you should worry about it. You have enough on your plate as it is, don't you?
2006-10-02 09:06:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, you absolutely have to return ALL money and gifts, without exception!
I echo Katherine's sentiments above. What was this, a fundraiser or an engagement party? Those people gave you money gifts to put towads your future happiness as a married couple, not as some kind of cover charge to defer the costs of your party. You should not have thrown a party you couldn't even afford.
Do not ask the people IF you should return their gift as suggested above-- people will feel put on the spot and let you get away with doing the wrong thing because they feel sorry for you. You KNOW the right thing is to return everything, case closed. I mean, really-- have some dignity.
2006-10-02 18:50:18 · answer #2 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should return all unopened, unused gifts to the gift giver. You should re-buy any used gifts to return the new unopened ones to the gift giver.
You should return all money to the gift givers. And if that means you lost money on the party-- so be it.
If people tell you you do not need to return the gift, you may keep it, however you should not expect or accept gifts from them for future engagements/weddings.
Hard to believe, but this is much easier than a divorce.
2006-10-02 16:09:40 · answer #3 · answered by ee 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a simple case of right and wrong.It would be wrong to accept gifts of any value for a wedding that will never take place.Send the gifts/money back. If your friends and family insist that you keep the money because they realize that you did use the money to pay for the party, then it is ok, but offer to give the gifts/money back. I'm sorry to hear that you ended your relationship. I wish you both the best of luck.
2006-10-02 16:14:29 · answer #4 · answered by Cynthia 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The rules of proper etiquette state that you should return both money & gifts in such a situation. If you do not have the funds available, then you might want to consider a loan if necessary. Be careful though and watch the interest rates. Choose the lowest if you can.
If a bank option is not available, then perhaps your parental figures might be able to assist you with the loan. And if they provide such financing, then by all means make sure to repay them promptly as well.
2006-10-02 16:03:19 · answer #5 · answered by Shadow 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Return the money and each one of you handle the gifts according to the giver. If it was from your side of the family or your friends you call that person and tell them the engagement is off and ask them "how would you like me to handle the gift". Have him do the same. If he doesn't it is out of your hands. Most people will tell you to keep it anyway. However, asking keeps anyone from getting upset about it.
2006-10-02 16:21:35 · answer #6 · answered by Stiletto ♥ 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes. Likewise, gifts given at a bridal shower should be returned after a broken engagement.
2006-10-02 15:59:50 · answer #7 · answered by Pam 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. You have to return it. People will remember it forever.
Did you really base your party budget on money you expected to receive? I don't understand. Whatever, it is no excuse. Sounds like you might have to charge your groceries for a few months.
2006-10-02 17:03:46 · answer #8 · answered by Katherine 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i didn't have an engagement party, i had a bridal shower. i think you should give the gifts back to the people since they were given with the understanding that you guys were getting married.
2006-10-03 13:26:42 · answer #9 · answered by Jenn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Who has an engagement party?
2006-10-02 16:03:09 · answer #10 · answered by JB 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋