2006-10-02 08:48:13 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think my guy is embarrassed that i am pregnant before the wedding. We also are getting married in catholic church and are both catholic.He is afraid of his mother reaction and his familys!when mine will probably be madder!
2006-10-02 08:50:13 · update #1
Well, traditionally, churches frown upon people having pre-marital sex. You're supposed to "save" yourself for marriage, or something like that. But it's not like your fiance didn't have a hand in impregnating you, so the blame shouldn't be resting solely on your shoulders.
And besides, the two of you are getting married and making each other "honest" as they say. So just don't worry about it too much, and ignore anyone who tries to judge you.
2006-10-02 08:58:06 · answer #1 · answered by Souris 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Well, technically a bride isn't supposed to be p.g. ESPECIALLY for a church wedding. DOUBLE especially if you are catholic. Major no-no.
In reality, many brides are pregnant, most hide it. Some churches are so against premarital sex they won't recognize the child. That's religion. Take it or leave it.
Too bad you didn't know about that before planning a pregnant wedding in a catholic church, that's going to be un-com-for-ta-ble.
Good luck, you can't change people's minds, especially those who are devout in their religion. The best thing you can do is downplay it and save face for your new hubby. I bet his family is giving him hell.
Sure, it's a bummer to put on the act. Truth is, the majority of society frowns on pregnant brides because of the social norm or their perceptions thereof.
There is still a double standard, like it or not. Religion is a double edged sword, if it's not the edge you want.
I also have to agree with Nanny.
2006-10-02 21:10:33 · answer #2 · answered by logical_centrist 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most brides who find out they are pregnant usually try and push the wedding date up, so it is before their 4th or 5th month and they arent showing as much. I have heard people time the wedding so the birth of the child comes within a month of the honeymoon, even though they were pregnant at the alter.
I have also seen lovely maternity wedding gowns- but that is trickier because your body is constantly growing when pg.
Most people are disgusted but i think that is only because there are still a few people in this world who believe that sex is meant only for a marriage, and try to discount the fact that it happens at any age- regardless of marital status. They tend to lean more toward the ill feeling of that a single parent is bad or the baby would be a "bastard" if not born into a family where the parents are wed. It is more so they dont want to let go of history and realize what is the norm for families today.
Bottom line is that while both families may be a bit upset about the pregnancy at first, they will get over it as soon as the child comes. And because you two are making the conscious decision to make the family legitimate- the baby wont be born into a single parent home.
Good luck with your wedding- and please, even though there may be many who will say mean or rude things, it is yours and your hubby to be's life, not theirs. You both made the decision to have this baby- it should be celebrated from conception to the end!
2006-10-02 15:56:52 · answer #3 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
No matter how common it is, being pregnant before you get married is an indication that yes, you did indeed have sex before getting married. It hints rather wildly at the bride and grooms lack of constraint and consideration of how this might make their friends and family feel. And if you are wearing a symbolically virginal white dress, it's going to look like a pink elephant in the middle of the room that everyone notices and no one talks about -- except people probably will talk about it. It's just not that romantic.
2006-10-02 15:57:32 · answer #4 · answered by Luckiest_Wife_EVER 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Of course, your boyfriend should be embarassed - the two of you got "caught". Getting married is the right thing, obviously - to do the right thing for the child by giving him or her a family.
From what I see on here and hear elsewhere, I think people don't like the idea that the woman still have a "traditional" wedding, and I must say I agree. I think that circumstances are different, and that the wedding ceremony should be a small one with just family - very low key, not a big blown out affair. It must be understood that the baby is the innocent party in all of this, and if a couple is getting married they are endeavouring to correct their mistake, and get their union legalized (and blessed, if they so chose). So, I wish you luck. Talk with your fiance and get your and his feelings out in the open - maybe he will tell you how he is feeling truly and you will feel better for it. You will have to understand that the families will be disappointed - but just be polite.
2006-10-02 16:19:59 · answer #5 · answered by Lydia 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
BEEN THERE DONE THAT. My husband and I were engaged in May 2005. We booked our hall and date a week after we were engaged. Then in March 2006 we found out we were expecting. We had already planned everything and had people flying over from the UK. There was no turning back. It wasn't what I had planned from when I was a little girl, but it turned out perfect. People will always judge, but these things happen for their own reason.
2006-10-02 23:19:34 · answer #6 · answered by welshmom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how far along are you? that might make a difference because if you're only 2-months pregnant and hardly showing i don't think anyone would realize it....but if you are 6,7,8, even 9 months pregnant, yeah people are gonna notice, and yeah, people are going to talk, but just ignore it. it's supposed to be your day and don't let anyone ruin that.
now why do people think its tacky? because its proof of pre-martial sex, which is not supposed to happen but happens more often than not anymore.i personally don't have anything against it...especially if the biological parents are getting married.
By the way, Congratulations on both the wedding and the baby!!! : )
2006-10-02 16:10:35 · answer #7 · answered by *~Jessica~* 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It probably goes back to the old traditional ideas of a bride and groom not having sex until after they're married. I know; people need to "live in the now," but you're still going to find that, especially when you're talking about Catholics -- they're very much against contraception of any kind and they're very much against pre-marital sex.
2006-10-02 15:57:33 · answer #8 · answered by sarge927 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't be ashamed-I was in a wedding in August 2002-we bought our dresses in February-in april I found out I was pg-then 2 weeks later the maid of haonor called the bride to tell her she was pg-then 3 weeks later the bride calls both of us(bridesmaid@maid of honor)to tell us she is pg.Maid of honor had her baby in Oct I had my daughter in Nov and the blushing bride and her daughter in Dec.It was the funniest wedding ever.
2006-10-02 17:21:23 · answer #9 · answered by Angela b 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Don't let religion interfere with LOVE. I think it's a beautiful thing that you love each other and you'll have a baby. i wish you all the happiness in the world
2006-10-02 15:58:41 · answer #10 · answered by Deep Thought 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋