My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years now. When we first met he was going to church every other week he was working the weeks he didn't go. About this time last year there were some things that happened and we broke up for about a month or so. During this time he kind of lost all faith in God and quit going to church. When we got back together I didn't make a big deal about it, because I was struggling to and really wasn't doint what I needed to do right. Well over the past 6 months I have gotten back on track and I keep asking him to go back to church and he tells me he will, but then at the last minute he is always feeling bad or has a reson he can't go. However like this weekend, he went to a football game on Saturday, but then all the sudden didn't feel good enough to go to church on Sunday. He gets mad at me for saying anything to him about it. What should I do? Should I continue in the relationship or what? Please help I don't know what do! I am so lost!
2006-10-02 08:18:52 · 14 answers · asked by Help??? 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
First of all, pray about it! Listen to what the Lord might want you to do.
Second, focus on God continually - He will bless you for wanting to get back on track and living Him.
The Bible does tell us not to be "unequally yoked" with unbelievers, but you have to know what is best for you. Pray for him, and do what you can, but don't be pushy.
If you feel that you need to break up with him because he's hindering your walk with the Lord, that would be wise, and you'll be blessed for it. If you can't handle breaking up with him, the Lord will help you through it, and hopefully he will come back to God soon enough. Just don't let him get you off track. Stand firm in your faith!
I hope all goes well. God bless you!
2006-10-02 08:24:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a fairly typical scenario. He "does not feel like it". It usually is because he had a bad experience of some sort or was just flat out confronted with his own sinfulness to the point he would rather hide from the issue instead of mulling it over and resolving it.
I cannot say for sure what you should do. You are going to have to make that decision yourself. But from what little I know of your situation, I would say keep at it until he gives you a definitive answer one way or the other. If he relents and starts attending church again, it may or may not help him and your relationship with him. Time will tell. On the other hand, if he will not because he has completely "lost faith", you need to decide if you can live with this or if it would be better for you to find someone else. If all you want is someone to hang out with, it is probably okay, though it will be a constant irritant in your relationship. However, if you are looking for someone to love and eventually to marry, I'd advise against it.
Bottom line, here is the same advice my dad gave me; don't settle for the person you can live with. Look for the person you cannot live without.
2006-10-02 15:27:12 · answer #2 · answered by Tim 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your boyfriend is suffering from guilt. He knows that he has not been perfect and this lays heavily on his conscience.
There are two primary teachings in the Bible, one is the Law and the other is the Gospel. The Law shows us that we are sinners. The Gospel is what God has done for us out of love. He has sent his Son to live perfectly and die to pay for the sins that make us feel guilty.
Your boyfriend sounds like he does not need to hear the message of the Law right now, he needs to hear the comfort of the Gospel. Through faith in Jesus, his sins are washed away so that he can stand before God with a clean conscience.
2006-10-02 15:45:14 · answer #3 · answered by d8 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Religious belief and practice are between God and the individual. Pressure put on someone else accomplishes nothing but creating tension. I don't understand it when people think they have a right to make these decisions for others. Even when these people are close. Unless you're dealing with an incompetant person, it's not your call.
I would get irritated myself if some possessive person kept telling me what to do like I'm a child or retarded. :Your inability to make even small adjustments shows immaturity.
When people are OK with themselves, they don't have a need to dictate to others.
2006-10-02 15:26:11 · answer #4 · answered by sourgrapesguy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At this juncture, I would be very careful about comitting to a lifelong relationship.
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
2Corinthians 6:1
We all stumble, now and then - we're only human. This may be an opportunity to bring him back.
Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.
Galatians 6:1
The Lord's servants must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone. They must be able to teach effectively and be patient with difficult people. 25 They should gently teach those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people's hearts, and they will believe the truth. 26 Then they will come to their senses and escape from the Devil's trap. For they have been held captive by him to do whatever he wants.
2Timothy 2:24-26 (NLT)
Raise him, and yourself, up in prayer and ask that His will be accomplished in your lives.
2006-10-02 15:32:39 · answer #5 · answered by NickofTyme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you're not married to him you're not under obligation to stay with him. You can't make his choices for him. If his choices are causing you distress, then perhaps it's time to move on.
But then, we are talking about matters of the heart, aren't we. And if you've given him your heart, then it's not as simple as all that. I know that one. It's a tough place to be. The only thing that got me through was getting even more diligent about seeking the Lord. He's the only one who can give you wisdom and understanding to know what the right thing to do is, and He's the only one who can give you the strength to do what you know is right.
We usually know the right answer. It's taking heed to what we know is the biggest hurdle to get over.
2006-10-02 15:39:26 · answer #6 · answered by Carol L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If going to church is an important part of how you practice your faith and your faith is important to you, then you need to be in a relationship with someone of similar beliefs.
The unity of a man and woman in marriage should be similar to the unity with God and His church.
2006-10-02 15:25:06 · answer #7 · answered by Sldgman 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to decide if this is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with and be the father of your children, as he is RIGHT NOW you cannot count on him changing later.
If not, then don't waste any more time on him.
Good Luck and God Bless your search.
2006-10-02 15:22:38 · answer #8 · answered by C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of the relationship while you can. He may not be the "one" for you. I have lived with this all my life - my husband does not serve the Lord now although he said he would and he would change - and I am suffering because of it. Please take my advise and do not get married - it will be so hard on you. Blessings and I will pray for you.
2006-10-02 15:21:36 · answer #9 · answered by jworks79604 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, you should try letting him do whatever he wants to. If he doesnt wanna go church, why force him?Its only gonna upset him. See if this works out. If it doesn't than you can think of leaving him.
2006-10-02 15:26:38 · answer #10 · answered by Dave 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋