Fellow parents - question about school bullying?

Question

My 10 year old is being physically assaulted by another boy in his class. He's come home bruised on several occasions, and last week was kicked badly between the legs. Today he was hit with a broom handle and kicked all the way through lunch.

I have spoken to his teacher countless times, who claims to be sympathetic etc etc, but absolutely nothing seems to be done.

What are my legal rights here? I am on the verge of confronting the head and threatening to take my child out of school.

What proceedure do you think I should follow? Also, as the children are over 10 (the legal age of responsibility) can I contact the police. Maybe that seems like over-reacting, but I am furious and my little boy is really suffering.

Any advice appreciated.

Actually - I have no intention of teaching a 10 year old to hit anyone. Maybe if he was older, but he's too young.

Answer 1

Donna M if you find out will you let me know. My daughter has been bullied by the same boy since she started school 5 years ago. Last year he sexually assaulted her in the toilets, yet when i confronted the head i was told he was too young to understand what he had done. I seem to spend half my life in the office with the head continually refusing to do anything. He did offer to change my daughter into another class, but i don't see why she should leave all her friends when it's not her thats done anything wrong. I did confront the boy's mother who told me that he has behavioural problems and she can't control him as she is a single mum. Then I get called in by the head and told if i speak to her again i'll be banned from the school. It's feckin crazy.

Answer 2

I would go straight to the head and demand some action. If nothing is done then you may have to consider moving schools. I work in a school and the best approach is to be diplomatic but very insistent. The staff at this school really need to do something no child deserves to be treated like that. I think that you can get the police involved especially if this is happening on the way to or from school. The school will tell you that anything that happens out of school hours is not their responsibility so it is a matter for the police. I have heard the headteacher at my school advising parents exactly this. If your son is suffering that badly then maybe you have no other choice and no I wouldnt say you were over reacting I would feel exactly the same way. It is so frustrating when all you want to do is protect them. Anyway good luck I hope you get this sorted as soon as possible.

Answer 3

Sorry you feel the way you do about not letting him hit back. I was in the same position as your child. The school officials did nothing. I kept getting treated badly by upperclassmen, etc. It only stopped when I had the courage to stand up for myself physically! The bullies don't respect the school, the teachers, or adult authority. I guarantee you, if you prevent your child from defending himself, he will grow up without the ability to make leadership decisions in his own life later. As distasteful as it seems to you, allowing him to fight back is the best, and most honorable way, to solve this problem.
There are problems with going to the teachers, the board, etc. in that it will just make it harder for your kid. The only way the bullies will ever leave him alone is if they know that he'll fight back during a confrontation.
Also, do you want to raise him into the kind of 'man' that runs to authority figures every time there's a problem?
And, if you go to the whole trouble of moving your child or your family, changing your schedule, and going through all these histrionics to keep your kid away from the bullies, then the bullies have won. Really, do you want your entire life to change just because some little creeps want to be sadistic?
Your kid needs to learn some leadership skills, and you need to let him.

Answer 4

Unfortunately, current laws have given free reign to bullying all in the guise of protecting our children. The bullies know the teachers and staff can't do more than tell them not to do it without getting in legal trouble themselves.

First, ask for a face-to-face meeting with the bully's parents in the Head's office. Address the issue and carefully note the parents' reaction. Make notes and if this causes discomfort for the other parents and the Head...oh well...you're within your rights. If you have a lawyer, get a release form for them to sign that will allow you to video/record the meeting. If they refuse, then you'll have the form saying they refused and proof that you had a face-to-face meeting. Also, after this meeting, write a summary letter of the meeting and mail a copy to the Head, the other parents, the school board, and to yourself. A mailed, post office stamped/dated SEALED envelope will carry great weight in court if it goes that far and someone claims you didn't send such. (Make sure the summary of the meeting doesn't sound judgmental...just a summary of the reason why it was held and what was stated.)

If this face-to-face meeting doesn't produce results and your child is still abused, stop it by filing charges. This will get their attention especially when you name the school as well. Your lawyer can suggest that the bully receive some type of evaluation. (He is in need of help and his parents don't know it or are ignoring it.)

The thing is, even though it's painful in many ways, is to take it one step at a time and document each contact, incident, and make sure you are covered with proper documentation/witnesses.

You don't want to run from the problem...the other boy needs his parents to know he is doing this and needs counseling--from them or a professional and your son needs to learn how to handle this kind of thing correctly, from your actions. However, if you have to take your son out of school and don't want to put him in another school or the other school is a bit far from you, you may want to consider homeschooling. Look into www.k12.com. They have one of the best programs for homeschooling around.

Good luck to all involved and I hope this is resolved in a manner that is the best for all.

Answer 5

I really sympathise with your little boy as I was bullied myself at that age. The best thing you can do for your son is to take him out of that environment immediately and report the school to the Local Education Authority. Also you need to tell them that if something is not done within a certain time frame then you will contact the Local Newspaper. Tell them what you would like to happen and what action you would like them to take. Keep a copy of every letter you have sent to the school or the Authority. Also take photos of your sons injuries. It may sound far fetched, but it means that the school will not be able to refute your claims.

You may not have thought of this but you may also be able to get compensation off the school for the abuse that your son is suffering. They have been made aware of the situation and have failed to protect your son from physical abuse whilst he is in their care. I would see a lawyer about this, if only to teach them a lesson and set an example. Parents are being forced to send their children to schools that are not safe, and if we remove them from these places then we are charged with not making them go to school and go to prison. Take a stand and do what is best for your son, after all it seems that you cannot trust these people to keep him safe.

Answer 6

I feel for you , my child went through 2 yrs of bullying although she was 13 at the time and it was high school . I was on the phone constantly to the school but u need to keep at them , my husband emailed the head and threatened involving the newspapers . As its primary school could you not speak to the childs parents let them know what their horrible kid is up to ? If you`re not happy with the schools support i would .
I got the police involved myself for my daughter and managed to get 2 girls charged for assaulting her ...

Phone the school and tell them you wont be sending your son until the other parents have been informed and that something is going to be done about it ..
Good luck ....
Some kids are so cruel ....

Answer 7

If you talked with the teacher and nothing was done, that teacher has not been responsible in doing there job and could lose it. You should right away contact the principal and tell them everything. Then I'd contact police since there have been physical altercations inside and outside the school. If you're not satisfied, take this issue of the school not doing anything up with the school board. Please make sure you contact authorities though. I'm real concerned about the lack of discipline in the school. There was a case here in my school district that a principal lost her job for not contacting police in this kind of situation. Then she was sued by the parents because their child was hurt. School should be one of your child's safehavens and should be a place where your child feels comfortable going to an adult with any problem.

Answer 8

Hi! I really feel for your son. What a nightmare, school without the bullies is hard enough I can imagine what he's going through. First of all, give him a big kiss from me and tell him how proud we all are of him, for being so strong and also for having the courage to tell you.
Second, contact the authorities, do whatever necessary to stop it. I unfortunately don't know much about what you can do legally to stop it, but maybe it'd also help to contact his bullies parents and have an honest chat. Don't feel overzealous or overprotective, our duty as parents is to protect our kids from physical and psychological harm and that's just what you are doing. Good on you! Just don't leave it as it is, because it'd only make matters worse. Also I would tell the Headmaster that I might even considering withdrawing my child from classes and go to the local papers if it doesn't stop. Feel no fear to make a fuss, after all your child is suffering and he does not deserve to go through it. He's a little hero putting up with all this.
Lots of strenght to you!
Carol

Answer 9

contact your local education authority. Bullying can cause severe consequences & the other child should be suspended or excluded from school for those actions.
The head teacher sounds like a waste of time but you need to nip it in the bud. Why dont you take your child to the doctors & get the injuries on record, take photos of the bruising, get your child to keep a journal of the incidents & threaten school with the police if something is not done immediately.
This is total unacceptable behavior & needs to be stopped.
Really sorry to hear about your Son & best of luck getting it stopped!
Get some tips & advice from www.bullying.co.uk

Answer 10

I would contact authorities and also take him out of school. Something needs to be done but if you do it then he might be picked on even more (maybe not physically, but mentally). Call the authorities so that the bullies are straightened out and also move him to a new school where he can start over and not have this problem. If kids see that he had to get his mom to defend him, he will be picked on (trust me, been there done that). If you call authorities and pull him out everyone will get what they deserve. The bullies will get a what they had comin' and your son will get to start over and not have to worry about being picked on and he will enjoy school more.

Don't go to the teachers because they will do nothing. That is why my siblings and I were homeschooled. The kids were awfully mean, ganged up on kids for no reason, stared you down, had "cliques", ect. and when my parents talked to the teachers all they said was "Girls will be girls." Go to the authorities, tell them what's going on, and stop these boys from being mean. If you go to a teacher, they might stop it--but only from happening to your son. They will just move on to another easy target and bully them as well. If you get authorities involved, they will be scared silly and stop the bullying.