is grounding too stiff?

Question

my 14yr old daughter is lazy when it comes to school. i told her that if see had an f on her report card she was grounded. she came home with a 69....should she be grounded for 6 weeks?

Answer 1

This is how we do it in our house, for better or worse, lol.

When report cards and progress reports come out, anything not passing (below a C-) then you are grounded till you bring the grade up. Our school has a system set up on-line where their grades are updated weekly.

BUT before I pass judgement on them, I also talk to the teachers. If they are truly struggling then I help them or get them help. If they show improvement then the restrictions are removed. If they are just being lazy then they are grounded till the next grades are sent (usually 4-5 weeks) no exceptions. I don't expect my kids to get straight A's but I do expect them to work hard and do the best they can.

HTH

Answer 2

I think what ever you do to your child is fair. She is your child and only you know the circumstances of the offense and the conditions of the punishment.

Now, based on what facts you have told us, I would say it is fair.
1) because it sounds like your daughter didnt bother to study after many repeated attempts and threats to get her to study.
2) if she is grounded from basically everything (which most kids are just grounded to their rooms - which contain Nintendos, stereos, tv, games, phone, and so on) or grounded from everything to a specific time in the evening, she will have nothing else to do but study. in fact setting a study time during the "grounding" might be a good idea
3) the amount of time you have set also is fair because now it allows for her to establish a different grade and a better pattern of behavior to her school work. this way you can see a new report card and it is a drive to her to make a better grade or she will maintain the current punishment or get worse.

This is your time to rear her into proper habits. How you do it is up to you.

Answer 3

I'm dealing with the same problem, I a 13 yr. old girl and a 14 yr. old boy and I've been down this road so much lately. I would threaten the groundings and then easy up when it came time to stand behind it. But I'm learning I have to put my money where my mouth is and stand behind what I say. The problem I have with grounding is when you ground a kid the parent is grounding themselves as well in a way. So I come up with a really good one, at least it's working for us so far, NO PHONE, no tv, no music. That way it's more of a person privilege to them and doesn't effect everyone else in the house. If you ground them for the weekend, everyone sits home. Stand behind what you say but use things that doesn't effect the entire household. Good luck.

Answer 4

That depends entirely on her effort. If no effort was given to the subject, grounding until the next improved report card is perfectly acceptable. She wont like it but you're building a lasting impression that study, school, effort, quality and integrity are #1.

That being said, I was a teen ager grounded every 6 weeks. I understood my parents discipline was in my best interest and rebelled tremendously. However, I was putting forth effort, studying, effort was not the issue, as my other subjects reflected good scores. My parents later realized, 18 weeks into it and I was no longer grounded. I was not damaged, rather it built stronger values in me as I learned the difficultness in obeying. It is a value I carried with me.

I understood obedience was demanded and because of that I also have obedient, non-lazy children today. I did learn to take into consideration their efforts much sooner, yet didn't slide on the groundings when necessary.

Good luck to you.

Answer 5

Well of course. here is what we do. Anything below a "C" they lose cell phone, computer and tv privilges. that is what is wrong with our kids today they are to darn spoiled and not disciplined enough. plus my kids are very attive in sports so they don't only get discipline here but at school with the coaches also. Stand your ground you ARE THE PARENT NOT HER! God bless

Answer 6

i think you should ground her until the next PROGRESS REPORT comes out, which by my district, thats 3 weeks, and see if her grades have came up. if they haven't, keep her grounded until the report card comes out.

Answer 7

Yes - six weeks is too long!
I would take away a priviledge until she raises her grade, or does an extra credit assignment to raise her grade.

The three of you (you, your child and the teacher) can come up with a plan, I am sure, to help her improve.

Answer 8

That sounds fair to me. When her grades come up the grounding stops.

Answer 9

If there's a valid clarification for spitting then what's the concern? it would be approximately as nonsensical as banning sneezing in public. might they introduce the spit police? Waste of time, attempt, and ingredients. If it is a few grimy lout who's only doing it as a macho image, in spite of the undeniable fact that, then i do in comparison to that, yet i don't think of it is going to possibly be banned.

Answer 10

I think thats fair. We just did the same thing with our 14 yr old son. You gotta dp SOMETHING and stick to it, or they wont learn.