anti d`s should i be on them again?

Question

i took myself off antideppresnts a while ago but im feeling very low now. im seeing a theropist and she helps for 2 days then i have 5 befor i see her again. i do feel low and none of my family help. i say please help me by doing jobs arround the house and cleaning up after themselfes. but im ignored. my other half is a slob ive just had him back after he left me for some one else. i know im a door mat but we have 4 kids and i dont want them to grow up with a part time dad,like i did. how do i deal with feeling so low without meds? i dont get time to me? im always running around for the kids and my dad? i cant not as they need me? i have a good friend she always says what about you how are you today? not the kids other half or your dad, you.i never answer how she wants as i dont know who i am and how i am? any way do i need to take anti d`s?

Answer 1

I really feel for you and have been there in my own way. It's different for everyone of course.

Firstly I do think you should go back on your anti d's. If you want to come of them then you should do so but only with consultation and monitoring with you GP and therapist. It is very unwise to just stop taking them and this can just leave you back at square one. Going cold turkey can be a big shock to the system also and it is often better to come of them as part of a gradual process. It's no good taking away the crutch when you still have a broken leg.

With regard to your family. It just sounds like you are too nice about things. Stop saying 'please help me' and start saying 'This gets done before any fun time'

Four kids can be tough and I know that feeling of you may as well do it yourself or it will never get done.

I suggest you decide which chores you want your children to do and then sit down with them. Get their input and make a rota with a reward system. I know initially it will feel like banging your head against a brick wall but honestly if you can make it through the initial storm it will be so worth it in the long run.

Approaching it with chores you want the children to do and then saying 'Right, I have decided I want these things done between you, how would you like it split' will mean that they are involved in the decision making and might prevent them arguing with you. Have a time table ready for them to complete and work with them to make sure it is fair. You can even make it a condition on them getting pocket money with a penalty for things they don't do.

But you have to stick with it and be tough! And I know how hard it is to be tough when you feel the way you do. You also need your husband to back you up on this so discuss it with him before approaching the children.

I think it is really important for you to make some time for you. Where it is just you (and a friend if you wish)... A couple of hours where you can read a book, walk in the park, window shop or whatever it is you need to feel like you and not a mother/wife. We often lose our identity within a family and you need to reclaim that. Maybe in the future do a course in something YOU have always wanted to do. Disover what makes you the person you are rather than being defined by those you love.

Your husband is another issue. It sounds like you have taken a lot but I do understand your reasons. Talk to him. Tell him you need more support and tell him what that support initials. Maybe make a chores table for him too. Or give him like 5 things he has to do during the week to help you. Cook once a week, put his clothes in the laundry basket, take out trash as and when required, look after kids for your me time or whatever it is you need.

There are no overnight results but if you take baby steps now one day you will feel a bit better and eventually look back on this time and really see the difference.

I don't know if I have helped but I hope you get something from this. Sorry it was so long. If you ever want to just chat to someone anonymously who has been in depression please feel free to email me or add me to yahoo messenger.

Good luck and take care of you. You aren't any good to anyone if you aren't ok!

Answer 2

I can relate to a lot of what you are going through. Without going into loads of detail I also stopped anti depressants about a year ago. You don't say whether the medication helped you before or why you came off them? Personally they did very little for me and I found the side-effects unbearable.

However, a lot of people find anti-d's take the edge off the deep lows and maybe if it was like that for you and they will help you through this bad patch you should think about resuming them for a while. Why not talk it over with your doctor?

It sounds like the talking therapy is helping and maybe with time the benefits will last longer than two days but I appreciate it doesn't help you right now and I do understand how hard it is.

In my humble opinion I think your friend is right... somehow you do have to find time for you. I know the kids and your Dad all need you but eventually you will burn out or break down and will be no use to anyone. A daily coffee and a chat with your friend could even be enough to make a difference - it sounds as though she values you and cares about you.

The mess and running around will still be there when you have enjoyed a bit of 'you' time but you might just find you cope better with it.

Good luck with the therapy, I hope it helps you find a sense of self.

Answer 3

Your first sentence is a clue to why your feeling low. It's the bane of the modern psychiatrist and the cause for so much of the trouble surrounding psychiatric meds.

"I took myself off because I was feeling better." That's not your exact quote, but in my experiences in behavioral health, it's common enough to mention it here.

Many people don't realize the reason they are feeling better and "normal" is because -of- the meds. After several months of successful treatment they find the symptoms of depression gone, and it's sometimes hard to see the continued need for medication when you are finally feeling good. Of course, as soon as one stops taking those medications, the symptoms return.

Your problem, however, is more complex and dynamic than a simple issue of medications. You have cited details about your current living environment that would depress anyone. You wonder if it's your situation that is depressing you, and your reasoning is that, if it is the situation, and not brain chemicals, should I be on the meds anyways?

That's a question for your doctor, really, but I can answer it based on my experiences. Take them for what they are worth - I'm not a doctor, but I've worked with them as a patient advocate for many, many years.

You should consider taking them again. If they helped at one point, they will probably help again. The problem with an environment such as yours, where you feel as if everything is wrong and things are oppressive, is that it can quickly overwhelm you, especially if you are already predisposed to depression.

You can find all sorts of solutions to take control of your life, and to eliminate the source of many of the issues you have cited above, but doing this will take an enormous amount of dedication and energy. Do you feel you will have the energy to accomplish such a task if you are already suffering from depression? Perhaps the meds will give you the relief you need to take control.

Finally, my friend, I feel for you. Life, in all it's drudgery and wrong-turns, can be such a pain. It can also be a wonderful thing, each day full of new adventure. You can get through this phase in your life. The only question you have to ask yourself is, "Do I need help dealing with the depression so that I can make the changes I need to eliminate the need for medications permanently?"

I would.

Answer 4

Looking at your question your depression appears to be circumstantial rather than biological. You need to change your circumstances which, will ultimately make you feel happier. You are allowing people to walk all over you, and the problem with that is that other people now know that they don't have to muck in and help out. They have come to expect it from you. Hence they probably think, " Ah don't worry about it, she will do it ". You need to toughen up girl and let people know that you have had enough. Your other half is getting an easy ride. Give him an ultimatum, either be a Dad or leave. It is better to have two parents apart and happy, than two parents together that are unhappy. Plus the children will pick up on it, and eventually it will have a psychological impact. As for your family tell them that unless they clean up after themselves they cant come to your home. I know it sounds easier than it actually is, but you have got to do something now. Nothing major will happen. Your family and partner may be p****d off with you but they will get over it. As for taking anti-depressants, you could but I don't think there the solution to the problem. Good luck.

Answer 5

I think you took yourself off too soon. There's no shame in needing a medication for the long haul if it helps you. If you had heartburn you'd take an antacid right? Why is it we hesitate to take meds for more serious issues like our mental well being. You are being treated like a doormat only because you allow it. You're like me, give and give and never get anything back. Stay strong for yourself and for your sweet dear children. Talk to your doctor, get back on the meds. You may find it helpful to join a support group in your area, read books on standing up to people to learn how to express your needs, take time out for yourself every single day!!! I know you say you can't because they 'need' you but really, they can and will survive for 20 or 30 minutes so you can destress and recharge yourself. Simply firmly say to your hubby 'listen, I'm going to take a bubble bath I'll be out in 20 minutes I need this time for ME' or maybe a walk alone or whatever you like. Learn to say 'no' without guilt(I know it's hard). You must take a proactive role in YOUR life. Make yourself happy every day by doing one thing you really like to do. We only live one life and we MUST make the best of it. Call your doctor right now and put into practice these things, you'll thank me :o)
Take Care!!!!

Answer 6

i did the same thing when i was 20 (i'm now 25). About 3 months ago i found myself in the hospital from a tylenol overdose, and then again 3 weeks ago! Get back on them! It's not worth the chance of hurting yourself (i know you didn't mention it, but neither did i). You're kids can tell there is something wrong too, and you owe it to yourself and your family to get better!

Answer 7

I don't think you need anymore pills. Drugging yourself to help deal with the pain people are causing you isn't going to fix things in the long run. I think you need to take charge of your life. It's a big & scary thing to do, so hopefully your therapist will help you with this.

Speaking as someone who grew up with an **** hole for a father, I'd have much preferred he was only a 'part time dad' than always around adding to my mum's misery. She only ever smiled after she finally told him where to go.

And they say that children don't notice..

Good luck whatever you do honey.

Answer 8

I don't think taking yourself of meds was such a good idea, and it sounds as if you need them. Not all depression is psychological. It can be from chemical imbalances, too. If you have a bad headache you take asprin without a second thought. If you need your antidepressants, then take them. Certainly, therapy would help while you go through this, but taking the meds will help you too.

Answer 9

according to probability you're actually not depressed yet bipolar (manic depressive) and there is of undertaking you have been misdiagnosed. you will desire to prefer diverse drugs, not extra effective drugs. If I have been you i might get a 2nd opinion from a psychiatrist and ask to be clinically determined back. i'm bipolar and it appears like that considering the fact which you communicate with "temper swings". The drugs I take are Lamictal and Abilify, and that mixture works splendidly for me and has for over 10 years. i became into additionally suicidal whilst depressed. My mania indicators have been insomnia, severe irritability, racing recommendations, and tension. in specific circumstances, earlier i became into placed on the superb drugs, I went by speedy cycling, or maybe mixed states, which, at first, made it very perplexing for my docs to diagnose me. Like I suggested, if I have been you, i might get yet another opinion by potential of a psychiatrist.

Answer 10

aw pet. your lacking in a social life. take time out with yur friends and have a blast. maybe even a family day out now and then would help like bowling or to the cinema buit tell your kids they have to earn it by doing chores and helping. stand up tall to them. Don't be a door mat!!