She says she is inviting a "few" close friends, family, and the bridal party. I went on for about an hour telling her that 26 people is too many, and that it is going to be hard to keep tabs on everyone. She said well not everyone is going to come. I told her she should invite only the people who she knows is going to come for sure. I told her that the party is really only meant for close friends and the bridal party, usually about 10-12 people. I am the one that is supposed to be paying for everything after dinner, but I have no idea what I am going to plan for everyone with that many people. I am not made out of money. I told her that she said I should plan a party for about 10 people, then she tells me 26, that is a birthday party. What should I do? Help me please.
2006-10-02 06:57:10 · 27 answers · asked by wishbear3687 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Since you are paying for this then she needs to consider your wallet. Yes you love the girl she is your friend, (obiviously, or you wouldn't be helping her with any of her planning). If she wants twenty six people than she should help pay. And if she refuses then you'll have to go the cheap route... Buy the cheapest bread and lunchmeat you can find and throw together some lunch meat trays. (cut each sandwich in half) And a few veggie platters. Don't spend more than you can afford on behalf of this Bridezilla. It's not worth being late or not paying your own bills.
Give her a dollar amount that you can afford and don't FLEX. Tell her if she want's more spent then she'll just have to chip in.
By the way. My husband and I PAID for EVERYTHING ourselves. We figured our wedding was our wedding. It was our complete responsibility. We didn't DARE ask anyone to pay for any aspect. We just wanted them there.
2006-10-02 07:05:10 · answer #1 · answered by sunkistheart 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's a lot of people! Here's what I would do...
Let the bride invite whomever she pleases. This will eliminate any unnecessary tension that an argument is sure to create.
Change your plans to something a little low key after dinner. Maybe a local restaurant has a nice lounge/bar area with some live music? It would be easy to keep everyone in the same area at a smaller place.
Also, change your idea of paying for everything after dinner. I don't think that's your responsibility anyway. EVERYONE attending should be sharing the expense (that's how I always thought it was done). If you want to pay for everything that is very generous, but not necessary and it should not be expected.
Just consider spreading the cost around and it should be easier. I understand the concept of inviting everyone with the knowledge that not everyone will come. I see why you would say "then don't invite them then" but some people get bent out of shape if they aren't even invited (even though they may not be able to attend).
2006-10-02 14:52:08 · answer #2 · answered by PT&L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, 26 people is a ton. Mine was about 10 or so. You are being gracious enough to throw her a party, and she should be respectful of your budget, time, etc. You only have to pay for the bride, but of course you are going to put money into other stuff too. I would tell her that you will do 12 people (or whatever you want) and maybe someone should throw her a second bachelorette party. That's really not fair of her to take advantage of you like that.
2006-10-02 14:12:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, the odds of them all showing up, or even staying for the after dinner festivities is pretty slim. Regardless, no matter how many people show up, one person (you) should NOT be paying for everything for the rest of the group. Traditionally with all of the bachelorette parties I've attended or thrown, the entire group splits whatever the cost is, just making sure the bride doesn't pay for anything. It's her night, so just make sure she has a good time, but do not feel obligated to pay for the rest of the group. That is ridiculous! Good luck!
2006-10-02 14:02:55 · answer #4 · answered by Holly Mig 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a deep breath, figure out your budget, and put together two possible options to discuss with her.
Option 1 - 26 people on a tight budget (not a lotta hoopla)
Option 2 - 10 people with a little more room for 'nice' or 'extras'
I'd break it down real clear - we can go grab pizza and beer with 26 or we can have shrimp cocktail and champagne with 10. But then I'd leave it up to her. She can't really argue with you about your budget if you're footing the bill - what you can afford is what you can afford. If it's most important to her to have all those people (and it really might be) then she'll be fine with less 'ta-do'. But if she wants the 'ta-do' she'll start paring down her list!
Be matter of fact about it - no need for you to stress or have hard feelings.
Good luck.
2006-10-02 16:20:59 · answer #5 · answered by Pam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you. Ten people should be tops and she is very rude to think you are to foot the bill for almost 30 people. Is there someone else who can help you out money wise? Perhaps a bridesmaid or two can throw in a few buckaroos? My daughter went to a bachelorette party where they had to pay for not only the bride, but also her mom, motherinlawtobe, aunts, cousins, etc. This included a limo, hotel suite, night on the town in Chicago, food, drinks etc. Cost each person $100.00 +. I think that is absurd!!!
2006-10-02 14:08:06 · answer #6 · answered by wanninonni 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I have thrown 4 bachelorette parties and usually the guess list is between 20-30. You will be doing good if between 10-15 show up. You will end up with alot less then what you invited. Trust me on that!
2006-10-02 14:43:53 · answer #7 · answered by phimuchica04 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best suggestion to you is let her invite who she wants then go to a bar for some drinks. Thats what I did for mine. We all went out for drinks at the bar so everyone just bought for themselves. You could also get shirts made for cheap that say bride-to-be and maid-of-honour and stuff like that so its more fun. My friends told the owner of the bar I was getting married and they made a big thing about it. thats what I would do and if she has a problem with it then she can pay for the party herself because there is no way you should have to put out that kind of money.
2006-10-02 14:14:12 · answer #8 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
26 people is way way too many for a bachelorette party.
it's supposed to be a few very close friends, like 10 or less. any bachelorette party i've been to hasn't had more that 10 people. it's supposed to be special for just your close girls.
maybe you could get someone else to help you throw her a seperate lingerie shower, short and sweet, then she could invite all the people who shouldnt be at a bachelorette party.
2006-10-02 15:39:56 · answer #9 · answered by TN girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know. Its the bride's party and it's what she wants so be it. I say do something where you are not the one having to foot the bill. I would reserve room at a pub or something that way you don't have to have everyone at your house.
Have them chip in a few buck ahead of time and maybe get a suite at a hotel or something.
I can understand though you not wanted to throw a party for that many people.
2006-10-02 14:08:05 · answer #10 · answered by alwaysmoose 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋