When do you plan on getting your daughter on birth control?

Question

I was just courious to see if people are actually going to put their child on birth control when they reach a certain age regardless if they are sexually active or not. This is basically a hypothetical question. If you had a daughter when would you put her on birth control, if at all?

I plan on getting her my daughter on birth control at fourteen--or later depending on when she starts her cycle. If I suspect she's having sex sooner or feel I should--on to birth control she will go! I plan on keeping her on birth control until she is out of my home.

Okay--kids are going to have sex--they may tell you they may not. I would much rather my child be protected against pregnancy then end up pregnant at fifteen!

Some kids may not have sex. I am still wanting to be more safe then sorry.

How is it condoning sex by putting a female on BC? I believe it would show a young woman that yes, they do have control over their bodies. AND--yes, it's better to be prepared then to worry.

LOL--I had parents who raised us girls not to have sex. I still had sex. When a child is in high school, parents don't have any say what a child does when the parent isn't around.

It's funny parent's complain about kids having sex without protection and yet they are too ignorant to get them some!

I'll tell you all the story of Charmaine. Charmaine is my cousin. She's a great girl and a great mom. She was taught abstinence. She learned about how to get on BC. She had to be on of the most highly educated people I knew when it came to sex. Her parents were open and loving. She could ask them anytime she wanted to get on BC. She was brought up in a Christian church. She knew right from wrong. She was and still is very smart.

She is now sixteen with a beautiful one year old son.

I honestly don't know why she didn't tell her mother she was having sex. Her mother had to have been the most open person I've ever met.

Ofcourse when (and if I even have a daughter) I put my daughter on BC I will tell her abstinence best. I will preach all I can to her about everything I know. We will have "the talk" years before that.

By getting a teen on birth control it doesn't mean I'm saying--go out have all the sex you want. It's just teaching a young woman to have control over her own body. I will teach her how hard it is to have a child at a young age. I don't want her getting pregnant but by waiting for her to come to me--that's not something I'm willing to risk. I'm not willing to risk my daughter's teen years because I was to afraid to get her on birth control.

Also thought I'd add this in. I had sex when I was a teenager (who is my husband now) I didn't tell my mom about it. She was also very open with me and from teh time she told my sister and I about sex she'd said to tell her when we were ready and she'd put us on BC. She eventually found out and we got the proper BC. I can't even imagine what would have happened had she not found out and I was pregnant at the sixteen!

AND AS FOR “I HAVE A QUESTION”

We have the same God. He will come to judge both of us. He will look at me and say tell me I had sex before marriage. He will look at me and say you’ve treated your body in a way in which I disapprove of. He will look at me and say you have sinned and you have asked for forgiveness. He will say you have asked me for forgiveness in all for all of your sins. He will look at me and say you have treated neighbor as respectfully. He will look at me and say you have helped people, you have shown human kindness, and you have tried to make each day better then your last. He will see I believe in Him. He will see I believe in His Son. He will know I may not go to church every Sunday but I say the Lord’s Prayer every night and ask forgiveness for all my sins.

I don’t know what you have or haven’t done. I’m sure you’re just a regular angel who has never sinned in her life! God knows what you have done and that’s not for me to judge. That’s just fine. I don’t really care what you say. I don’t really care if you think I’m a good parent.

What gets me the most about you is that you are so immature. You are too immature to actually come up with good arguments to prove your point. You are too immature to actually send me an email so that we can resolve this. Truly it’s sad. I will not bow down to your level and tell you what I really think. I feel really sorry for you to have nothing better to do then complain about what I do.

I actually would like to leave you with some excerpts emails I have been sent concerning you. I’m sorry I will not disclose names.

“I have read the posts that "I have a question" has put up on your questions and let me assure you SHE IS A NUT JOB. I feel sorry for her family!!”

“Don’t worry about “I have a question” we all know who is a good mother here. If she wants to go crazy pro-life ***** on you, that’s fine. I appreciate the question and think you are a delightful questioner.”

“I never noticed how much I liked you questions until “I have a question” started giving you such a negative response. She really got me thinking while I don’t understand or like some of your questions I respect the fact that you are stay collected and mature with disagreements. Keep up the great work”

Answer 1

"How is it condoning sex by putting a female on BC?"

It isn't. Birth control has so many perks and protecting against pregnancy is one of the good ones. Although, it isn't the only good one as it also helps regulate periods, less cramping and can make periods shorter.

It annoys me how people assume a person is on birth control means they are sexually active.

I was on birth control before I came sexually active. I had a parent lecture me about it and told me I was lying through my teeth about being a virgin (I was a virgin entering college. Last virgin of my child hood friends).

That hurt knowing I was being judged and it is wrong that parents are going the route of thinking birth control is only for pregnancy.

It is also conflicting that how parents say "She needs to go on birth control" and then scream "bad parenting" if the action is taken. I agree, with you on this.

I am going to raise my children to talk to me openly anytime they feel the need to. Whether it is about pregnancy, sex, drugs, getting in trouble any sort. Doesn't mean I will "bail them out" as they need to learn from the consequences. However, I want that open relationship where I can help guide them in the right direction to be prepared for the world when the only protection is themselves as adults.

To answer your question: I will have discussion with my daughter(s) when they hit puberty or entering 6th grade (as middle school is relationship development time) about taking care of our bodies and making the right decision for themselves.

They will tell me when the right time is. I will not tell my children when the time is. I have to respect their body as I can't force birth control on them. If my 14 year old confided she is feeling of having sex with her boyfriend, I would then discuss getting on the pill, educating more on std's/pregnancy and teen relationships along with getting him tested (as he will be talked to by us too along with his parents).

If they want to do adult things, they they will be treated as adults and have the consequences of adults.

If my 17 year old daughter came to me with a few years of irregular periods, horrible cramping and under my insurence. I would ask her what steps she would want to take. I wouldn't judge her by going on the pill. I will have to understand she is almost an adult now and some things will no longer be my business. My mom is going through that and I understand how she feels as she needs to understand how I need to grow. It's a complicated cycle of growing up.

Answer 2

i have 3 daughters and only 1 needed BC at 16 for medical reasons. I made sure we had an open line of communication and that they knew they could come to me if they had questions or needed advice or BC. They are all married now and only 1 has children (2) and she had them at 20. I also have a son that has made it to 21 with out any unplanned pregnancy's (if you want to call it that) You have to base your answer on your child. I however would not just hand her BC at age 14. She would be devastated that you do not Trust her.
The best advice I can give you is Just keep talking. She may act like she's not listening But believe me she is. Good Luck

Answer 3

I am very open about this and have a good realtionship with my daughter. I am quite confident she will come to me if she is serious about this. I also intend to keep asking and talking about it. If it looked like she was serious about a guy or was behaving in a way that sexual relationships were likely--I would bring it up with renewed vigor. She knows she will not be met with moral disapproval or indignation.

I should add this. At this time actually my daughter has taken one of those abstinence pledges. I am realistic enough to know that is not the end of the matter. I agree with the concept and have told her this--but have also made it clear that if she has sex I will not look at her any differently. I have been open that I was pretty sexually active--maybe a bit too much--but that I turned out fine.

Answer 4

We seem to have a family history of young pregnancy. Of all my cousins (20 of us), I was the only one over age 18 when I had my first child. My sister is very bright and confident and today is a degreed professional, but she was pregnant at 17. So, with her daughter, she got her the implant birth control when she was 14 to be sure. She didn't want her daughter to make a foolish decision at a young age and spend the rest of her youth paying for it. My daughter is a good girl but I'm definitely thinking about doing the same when she is 14.

Girls don't have sex because they are on birth control. There is a lot more to it than that. If a girl says she thought it was okay because she was on birth control, that is just an excuse for doing it anyway.

Answer 5

I have two boys, so I can't exactly force them to take birth control. I'm going to try my best to teach them to wait, or to USE CONDOMS.

If I had a daughter, I wouldn't put her on birth control. I guess I'd do the same thing with her...preach to her that abstinence is best, but condoms come in a close second.

I would be more concerned about her contracting AIDS or another STD. A baby is a baby and won't kill a person. AIDS will.

Answer 6

These days it isn't pregnancy that she should be worried about. Putting her on bc isn't going to prevent her from getting an STD.
Someone actually suggested I put my daughter on depo as soon as she starts her period and I was appalled. I will do my best to educate her while keeping my mind open to the reality of the will of an adolescent. But I will not express my distrust of her in that way without giving her a chance to earn it. If this backfires on us, then she and I will have to deal with the consequences.

Answer 7

My daughter is 12. She got her period at 11 and I know she is not sexually active. I would never permit the pill at 14..it's almost like saying it's OK to have sex and 14 is too young. My daughter will be very well educated when it comes to sex and pregnancy unlike most of the teenagers on Yahoo.

You really think it's ignorant to NOT place a child on BC? Education is key and birth control for a young girl is a cop out. You have no idea what you are talking about..you are still a teenager yourself. I used to really respect things you wrote here but you are showing alot of immaturity.

Answer 8

When they enter into High School. At this time they are already menstrating and are now in a position where they will be challenged daily by tons of men/boys. Alot of them are older and have more of a pull on trying to get girls to make decisions they know arent right. There is more pressure on looking good and acting certain ways to get attention and get noticed and at least if she does lie to you about having sex that she wont get preggo. This def. is not a good policy to just hand it over to her but think of it as a back up resource.

Obv. you should be able to talk to her and create an understanding of what is exceptable behavior and what is not and then the risks involved. etc etc. But I think its a good idea.

Plus it regulates them better and there are other health benefits to using bc.

Answer 9

Well I have a 7 year old. I thought about this because children wouldn't actually tell you that they are sexually active. So, I think I would put my daughter on birth control around 14 or 15 years old depending on her interest in boys. Especially if she starts talking to boys on the phone that means she have a common interest in them.

Answer 10

It might sound bad, but in reality I would say 13. Just because the average age for having sex for the first time is 15. And it takes about 3 months for the birth control to really be in good effect, and for your daughter to be on a good routine/remembering everyday. Good luck! You are right to ask its great to be prepared. Try to stay in good communication with her, and make her feel comfortable talking to you, she will feel right coming to you when things happen in her life.

(Also if it makes it easier for her to not think that she can go out and have sex without any worries just because she is on BC then hand them to her every morning/night and tell her its a daily vitamin).-just a suggestion.

Answer 11

I don't agree with putting a child on BC just because she reaches a certain age, unless the dr suggests it to help with periods or something.
I hope that my kid and I have a solid enough relationship that she can come to me and say "hey I need some BC!" but if not which I completely understand, I have been preaching to her about BC since we started the birds and the bees talks a few years ago. I have also told her that if she doesn't feel comfortable with me that she can go to her much younger cooler auntie and ask her to help and auntie doesn't have to tell me.