I am adopted. How do I legally go about locating my biological parents?

Question

I am 26 years old and my adoptive parents are psychotic to say the least. I am not interested in forming a family of my own with my adoptive parents as my childrens' grandparents. I am considering locating my biological parents (or at least one of the two) and seeing if I can get invited back into my real family. Well, that is the short story, but it is much longer and depressing. Hmmm...well, if anyone knows of any professional services that could assist me please let me know.

Brad
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Answer 1

Hi,

I'm a reunited adoptee & former search assistant. Unfortunately, I can tell you that in all except 5 U.S. states, the government can & does still legally & permanently withhold your records from you, even after you are of adult age. This is currently in the process of being retrified in many states. Until the laws are changed for all adoptees, there are other ways of going about finding long lost relatives. It can be difficult; however, it can be done. If you are in doubt as to the laws in your state, check out the aborn link below.

First you need to find out what type of adoption it was. That will make a difference in how you proceed. If it was a private adoption, your adoptive parents must have plenty of knowledge about your adoption, including most likely your birthparents' names. They might even have some papers someplace to get you started. If you have that much information, your search will be far easier than if you do not have the names of the people you are searching for.

If it was an agency adoption, then you will probably need to gather as much information from the agency, the state, and the attorney that you can. In most cases, only "non-identifying info" will be available to you. Get all the information you can. You also have the right to petition the court for your information. Results will vary from state to state, & from judge to judge.

Searching adoptees should always sign up for registries. There are many voluntary reunion services out there. That means both parties must be signed up in order for a match to be made. I tried several. ISRR is free. Most states also offer a fee-based registry. Alma will charge you about $50 annual membership. (Although ALMA works for some adoptees, they failed in my case to make a match even though my birthmom & sisters were also registered for 10 years.)

I always recommend for adoptees to sign up with International Soundex Reunion Registry first. Besides being free, it is worldwide & confidential. They will keep your info on file until a match is made or you request them to remove your information. I found 2 family members through them. Here is their link:

http://www.isrr.net/about_isrr.shtml

Be careful of some of the very expensive methods. For instance, International Locator, Inc, another one I do not recommend. They will charge you over $1000, and not keep you updated on the search progress, which can drag on for years and years. There is no guarantee of results either.

It's imperative that you have some sort of support network during this searching time. It is normal for emotions to run the range, it can really feel like a rollercoaster at times! It helps to talk with people who have been there or are familiar with the unique issues facing adoptees.

** To sum it up, I would start on this website
http://www.aborn.faithweb.com/
& click where it says " Before you begin your search." Next, read "Proper way to search, part 1" and "Proper way to search, part 2."

Hope some of this information is helpful.
You & all adoptees are always in my prayers.
Good Luck

Answer 2

If your adoption was lead to be abusive parents, you may not want your real parents to be around your children. If the sistuation is diffrent try a internet search. They can cost as little as $10. First you should really decide if you want to relive the past be contacting your parents. Keep in mind that your children will have grandparents from their mother. Follow your heart and keep a friend close by while your doing it in case you need someone to help you turn back.

Answer 3

I just found my birth family! The web sites I listed helped me greatly. If you have the money to join "Ancestry "that site has all the information you can use. If nothing else join for the 2 weeks free trial and search your little heart out. Thats what I did. You may also want to go to "ALMA" and check it out. That is a place that will help you in your search. There is also a chance that your birth parents are registered there. The cheapest of all the sites to join is "Reunion". That site will also help you. Good luck in your search. It took me 40 years to find my birth family. So never give up.

Answer 4

Try omnitrace.com
Talk to your parents. If it was a private adoption, they'll know who your bio parents are. If it was through an agency, you can contact the agency. You can also try to find all the paperwork from your adoption, where they keep all their important documents.

Just be careful b/c it doesn't seem like you can take anymore disappointment. Sometimes things are better left unknown. Just be prepared for rejection b/c you never know. Good Luck.

Answer 5

I would be very precaucious. Try to find a religious organization that would provide w/support. Sometimes is best to accept what can not be changed! Make your own family, study, obtain a degree, and wk towards a nice future on your own. Why must you waste your valuable existance in a search that might disapoint you! Pray for wisdom!-

Answer 6

You can do a search on the web about yourself... you know like: intellus.com... It's like $40.00 but you'll get basics like public records which your adoption should be unless they kept it private and then go from there.. Or you could just ask your crazy adopted parents.. but try intellus.com... It may help.. Good luck!!!

Answer 7

Do you have a way of getting ahold of the agency that you were adopted thru? They keep all of the information on file. They would have a current address and phone number. I believe that's the law...

Answer 8

ask ur step parents becaus wen they adopted u they probably signed sum papers and stuff