Should young children be allowed to talk on the phone?

Question

My 6 year old son started receiving phone calls from a little girl. (They were discussing knowing your phone number at school and she wrote my son's number down when he said it out loud.) I allowed my son to speak with her one time, with me standing right there, to tell her that he can not speak on the phone yet unless it is giving out the homework assignment. For several days, she continued to call him and I told her that he was not allowed to talk and could I speak with her Mom. She always says I'll try later and hangs up. I refuse to be mean or rude to a 6 year old so I have just let it go. The other day, on our answering machine the little girl left a message. At the end, you could hear the mother say, "He must not be home, you can call him later." So, the mother obviously knows that her daughter is calling on the phone.

Am I just being irrational or is it really weird for a 6 year old to call a boy for no reason?

I do not have a problem with it being a girl - I have a problem with the age of the children. I am not worried about this being about sex or anything. I just don't want my child to be one of those kids that you have to seperate the phone from their ear with a crowbar by the time he is ten.

Shouldn't phone use be a privledge they earn as they mature?

Answer 1

They're at an age where they're learning to be independent. This should be encouraged, not stifled. At that age, they're only making small talk. Probably about mutual friends and school.

If you feel that strongly about it, limit his time. Give him rules and then have him explain it to his little friend. His homework must be done, chores done and so on. Tell him no more than 15-20 minutes or so. That way, he's getting his Independence, but you still have control over what's going on. I also suggest that you trust him and don't listen to his conversation or stand there watching him. Tell him when time is up the first couple times and see how well he handles it.

Give him a chance. Usually, if they talk on the phone, it's not for "no reason". I know kids here don't get as much free time as they used to. They really don't socialize in school as much as you think.

Answer 2

I'm with the majority.. I think you're being a bit irrational.

Someone talked about TV, video games, etc., being enough of a distraction.. but the difference with TV, Video games, etc., is that they are completely ONE SIDED. There is no human interaction there.

A phone call is just an extension of the social behaviors they are doing in school, and with the way many public schools are these days, they are hardly allowed to talk at ALL, something which should be a normal behavior at this age and should be allowed within reason.. but unfortunately it is often squelched so that kids have to keep quiet ALL DAY. That's just not normal.

I would certainly not let my six year old dominate the telephone and there would be limits of course, but I see no harm at all in allowing brief chit-chat calls with buddies. As long as they aren't wanting to talk to the exclusion of doing other things, why not?

At this age, gender is irrelevant.. my boys have always had friends of both genders and it doesn't mean anything.

If I were you I'd be glad your son is obviously liked and friendly enough to be making friends. It could be the opposite!

Answer 3

You are not being irrational and it is not weird for a 6 year old to call a boy. 15 years ago when my nephew was 5 he started receiving phone calls from girls. I now have a 5 year old and although the phone calls haven't started yet I know it will be soon. Like you, I do not see the need for kids so young to talk on the phone but I have not made a concrete decision on if I will allow it or not when the phone calls begin.

Answer 4

Wow I think it sounds like your are a very controlling mother. There is nothing wrong with your 6 year old talking to a friend on the phone. You should let him know that he can use the phone only during certain times and not every night. You have to give your son some private space and show him that you trust him. Otherwise he will just go behind your back and do what he wants anyway.

Answer 5

My 6 year old son had a friend calling him at the beginning of the summer. The first phone call was from his mother asking if it was OK that her son call. We discussed length of phone calls and a time that they could not call after. (6:30 pm) The phone calls only happened for about a week and then the excitement wore off. This is a good way for you to keep up with your child life away from you. They will talk to their friends about things that happened at school that you might not ever know about otherwise.

Answer 6

Yes. It is weird. I remember not being able to talk on the phone until I was in fifth grade--and that was a special event. I have no clue what six year old children have to talk about. That is really strange! Do you have her phone number or caller ID? If I were you I would call the little girl's mother and let her know the situation. I know she already knows but she may not know that your son doesn't receive phone calls and you would appreciate if her daughter didn't call your home any more. Don't get defensive with the girl's mother because obviously she doesn't care if her daughter calls--but make it very clear that your son doesn't get calls. If it continues after the fact I'd suggest you go over to their house, explain your situation again and if she gets defensive, let her know very well you don't find it acceptable. It just baffles me to why a child would even want to talk on the phone. My five year old won't even speak with my mom for longer then two minutes before getting bored and engaging in another activity.

Best of Luck to you!


EDIT:
I thought more parents would think like you and me. I can't believe of any reason for kids to be talking on the phone. It's not a necessary social skill. I think kids should be outside playing pick up baseball instead of sitting and talking about nonsense on the phone! Don't these people know kids learn more social skills outside on the playground and that the phone--as convenient as it is--is not necessary?

I agree. It isn't about the girl being female. It's merely the fact that children that age have no reason to use the phone. They should be outside playing or doing something productive.

I'm sorry if my answer is so straight forward!

Answer 7

Let it go, Mama!

My daughter knows the kids in our neighborhood, and three are in her class this year. She's 5 and in K. They were all sooo excited that they could all be friends at school. My daughter called one of the little boys on the phone just the other day, and he came over to play. She came home and told me she had to "tell me something very important" and that she had asked Mason if he wanted to come eat dinner with us tonight, and he said yes.
Well, I dialed the number myself, after looking it up in the phone book. She left a message, he called her back, and I got on the phone with his mom. We BOTH thought it was so cute, that he came right over. She was glad to get a break, because she has a two year old as well. They played really well together, and he'll probably come over again soon.
If I had run into a problem with his mother over it, I probably would have been really shocked. They are innocent, and having a valuable life experience making friends and relationships. LET 'EM do it, honey!

Answer 8

My son is also 6 yrs old and loves talking on the phone. I would speak to his teacher about it if you cannot talk to the mother. It is sad that some parents lack that decorum to know what is appropriate and what is not. A phone call to say hi is silly, but at this age the phone is still somewhat new. I think it will pass and this little girl will get bored of it.

Answer 9

Just let him talk on the phone theres nothing wrong with that. When i was 6 i used to talk on the phone too about a lot of things. I think you should let your song talk on the phone without you being there hes going to be talking to girls on the phone sooner or later hes not going to stay 6 forever let him grow your being irrational!

Answer 10

at six years old shes not calling him to be her boyfriend they have to start developing social skills at some point should they be talking on the phone for hours everyday no but makeing or recieving a call is part of being a big kid and growing up its anther skill they need to learn and it makes them feel special to recieve a phone call whats the problem that you see in it? you speak to your friends on the phone dont you? you make it sound like this little girl is stalking your son shes not my suggestion is ease up and pick your battles dont let him talk all day but a 10 minute conversation is not going to hurt anyone.