i am 20 and she is 29, we have so much fun togather. we work at ther same place and we spend most of the day togather. But she have three kids and a controling Ex boyfriend. she tells me tat i am her bestfriend and that she loves me. I really like he. she's real kool. Some one help me and tell me what should i do.
2006-10-02 05:31:38 · 26 answers · asked by BRANDON W 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
bang her till something better comes along- No need to saddle yourself with somebody elses kids.
2006-10-02 05:34:22 · answer #1 · answered by Trip S 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your question is easy to answer. No, she is not too old for you. Age is just a number unless you are 45 and she is 14. Or the other way around. Now, the real problem is are you ready for her baggage? A controlling ex-bf. Not good. But if you like her then I say go for it. Also, she is a mother of three kids. You better be ready for that responsibility. You have to factor the kids into the equation. It's not just you and her. What if her kids don't like you. What if her kids really like you. No one can tell you what to do. That is your job. You are a man, MAN-UP.
2006-10-02 12:41:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually if you have to ask the question...you may be too uncomfortable with all the sweet baggage...not the ex...her children. They take up the vast majority of a moms time...so unless you are looking for just a quick root (as she may be) you may not want to get your heart entangled so much.
If you are looking for a steady girlfriend without being number 4 love on the list....its the wrong girl for you. If you dont want to be daddy number 4...then watch out as that may be the next thing on her mind and you look good to her.
If you want to play..wrap the package and keep it real...one-night stand or casual. She is more worldly than you...and that can be fun.....if you fall inlove you give your power on your own life away. Somehow I dont think you are ready for her type of kool...as it will bugger up your view of women. She likes bad boys...and you arent one...but she thinks you are sexy or an easy lay. Bit heady for a guy who hasnt found himself yet...let alone women.
Do what YOU want to do.......and try to view it with a mature, child friendly manner......ie if you arent going to be around long...dont get the kids involved in meeting you etc. No matter how inlust/love you feel...you gotta love the mom in an adult way before committing to children...as they would be devasted if you left them like their daddy/ies did. Dont play with fire unless you are grounded and know where the bullets will hit.
2006-10-02 12:47:57 · answer #3 · answered by Scully 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Age is not the problem. But she has a family that you will be ending support... If you are ready to give up everything and start working for those kids and home, why not, if she gives you your place as a man in the house is OK... many older woman do not do that since you are younger... and for her friends you will always be HER BEST FRIEND... and she needs to put away the ex, obviously if she loves you, if not he is probably still supporting her. But whatever your decision is you have my best wishes.
2006-10-02 13:08:05 · answer #4 · answered by El Recio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is not too old for you. I am engaged to a girl nine years older than me with two kids. Age its the least of worries but keep this in mind:
-She has kids, which means there will be less time for you two and you wil have to spend time with the kids as well. Depending of how old they are, dont expect them to welcome you with open arms (the older, the worse)
-You need to make sure she understands that the controlling ex needs to stay out of the picture. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT, specially in a relationship with kids. Exes tend to use the kids as an excuse to stick around
-You BOTH need to understand that THERE IS AN AGE DIFFERENCE. Therefore you both may end up doing things EVERY NOW AND THEN that you hate doing or you think you are too young/old to be doing that
-Friends: you are both from different times, so you wont have ONE friend in common. You both need to NOT BE JAELOUS about this and understand that each one can have friends from either sex that cant be shared.
-TAKE IT SLOW. Since she is older she will want to marry you tomorrow. Made sure she understands that you need time.
-Keep in mind you are not going to start a family of your own. You are taking from where someone else left on. I dont mean that as an offense but as a reality. He left and you are taking from there. That can be either very possitive or very negative. Its up to you.
Its not an easy one, when the guy is younger than the girl the relationship its harder to keep. This will be harder than an interracial one or a multicultural one.
2006-10-02 12:42:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all - do you like your job? If you do then you should quit seeing this woman. Why? because when you two break up she will be able to file sexual harassment charges against you (even if you haven't done anything). And chances are.. she just might do that even now.
Second... do you want an "instant" family? Because if you start dating this woman and then break up.. you may be held responsible for child support if she can prove that you have "attached" to the children.
Third.. a controliing boyfriend? and I would suspect the father of the kids? Who needs that kind of drama?
you can't even leagally go to a bar yet dude!!!!
Your best bet is attempt to stay just friends at work (but even that is dicy) and start dating (casual dating) as many girls as you can. go out and learn about yourself.. explore the world of women- we are alll soooo different and you need to find out what you can bring to the table...
finally... if you are asking what to do.. you must have a feeling that you need to leave this "relationship" already.. you just need someone to say "yep.. you are right".. wellll
"yep... you are right"
2006-10-02 12:37:19 · answer #6 · answered by .... 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's very likely having fun with you until something else comes along. Maybe it's a sexual attraction. Hard to say. I suspect you aren't ready to take on the responsibility of fatherhood and raising 3 boys. If she's letting an "ex-boyfriend" control her then she has serious issues that she needs to work out. counseling maybe. She also maybe using you because she's needy right now. Take care of yourself, don't let her hurt you. You deserve to date a girl that's single and start fresh at your age. Best wishes!
2006-10-02 12:37:46 · answer #7 · answered by Night Wind 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have fun with her if you really do like her but you are only 20 and she's almost 30. 3 kids and an almost 10 year age difference will catch up to you. Have fun but dont get too involved.
2006-10-02 12:39:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the age difference is not a problem. You being a minor, might be a problem. but when two people get along and enjoy each others company, age is only numbers.. I married a man 14 years younger than me..we found no problem with it and everything was fine.. good luck to you
2006-10-02 12:36:31 · answer #9 · answered by lynda 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to your heart bro...just listen to your heart and let it guide you.
Don't forget to check in with your brain as well:
1. Are you mature enough to commit to this?
2. Can you afford to raise her family?
3. How will you deal with the past boyfriend?
4. How will you feel when the baby daddy has visitation time?
5. Above everything else,ask this woman what HER thoughts/feelings are, because it's her that matters most
2006-10-02 12:38:22 · answer #10 · answered by moth18two 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think that you are mature enough to Handel the ready made family stuff and the crazy ex than go for it. however if not then step back and keep it on the friendship level because it would be wrong to keep a relationship with this women knowing its not going any place.
2006-10-02 12:48:30 · answer #11 · answered by Betty Bee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋