if ur answer is the person--why our choices change regarding persons?
if ur answer is the feeling of our love--why should we depend on a person for a love?
2006-10-02 05:23:38 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't think love is so black and white. I think that when you truley love somebody you love them for who they are flaws and all. Because you have the ability and unique stance that compliments theirs...loving somebody is not easy it takes time to build and grow together but it's worth it. And if you are with somebody just because you think they love you, they are not the one you should be with.
2006-10-02 05:26:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good question. I think most of the time it is our feeling more than the person. They show attention to us, they meet a percieved need in our lives.
How can you explain people "falling in love" so quickly, only to find out after they know each other they "fall out of love"?
You can truly love a person but it takes time and effort, going through things together and becoming stronger in it as a result. I think you can actually love someone and not always have the feelings but it is an act of the will...a choice.
2006-10-02 05:28:03 · answer #2 · answered by david 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe what you are talking about is the difference between "romantic love" (that FEELING of being IN LOVE) and "real love" (an emotion we might have that is truly ABOUT someone else). The vast majority of humans are hard wired to feel strong (emotional and physical) attraction to members of the opposite sex. Usually we feel these attractions toward those people we (usually unconsciencly) believe to be the best choices for us to mate with. Yes, falling "in love" is a DNA based trick our bodies play on us to insure the survival of the species. That DNA trick is why, more often that not, that euphoric feeling of being "in-love" disapated for both parties, and is the same reason that feeling goes away, quite often, faster for men than it does for their female partners.
If you're feeling "crazy" about the other person, if you can't think/work/sleep or hang out with your friends without constantly thinking about the other person, if you're feeling very "Romeo and Juliet" about the situation, then at that moment your body is winning a battle with your mind. So it's not so much that we're, as you put it "loving the feeling of our love" as it is we're being human animals and are being controlled by our DNA.
That is not to say that all the love we feel for someone else is our body's push to procreate. It is possible to feel emotional, non biological based love for someone. That's the kind of love that not about how pretty the other person is or how sexy or how "hot" or "crazy" they make us, but is instead the feeling that is based in respect for the other person and a TRUE feeling of "wanting the other person to have what they want, more than wanting them to have what we want for them".
Here's an EASY way to tell the difference. Biological attraction (feeling "in-love" witih someone, INFATUATION is another word for this) is about POSSESSING the other person. Having them around you all the time, having them LOVE you and no one else, wondering what they are doing or who they are with when they are not with you. It is a SELFISH feeling, a WANTING something from the other person feeling. Real LOVE is all about GIVING and ENABLING the other person. Wanting them to have or do what they want to have or do.
So I guess my answer to your question is that we do FEEL both things. We THINK we love the feeling of being in love because feeling that has developed over the course of human evolution, just like walking upright, as a means of continuing the survival of the species. That's why we FEEL that so strongly. That's why heartbreak hurts SOOOO much. We can also feel love for the other peson. You asked "why should we depend on a person for a love?" My answer to that is that since real love is about GIVING we must have someone else to give to.
2006-10-02 05:55:16 · answer #3 · answered by ScubaGuy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I want to know the same thing...recently I began thinking that maybe it was more of the feeling that love gives us....that euphoria....
I think love makes us feel a certain adrenaline rush, it gives us energy when there normally isn't any, makes us need to eat less, makes us feel giddy....who wouldn't want to feel that way?
The question is how do we get the feeling of love without initially getting it from a relationship with another person?...I mean you can fall in love with someone over in the internet and never meet them but it is still that human connection, whether it be over the phone or written text that initially makes you fall in love....
2006-10-02 05:31:13 · answer #4 · answered by Cute But Evil 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think both.... we love the feeling of our love coz something like this has never happenned to us but we are not depending on him coz it' sthe feeling inside us... our feeling... all depends solely on US. And we are also really loving the person. If our choices change then we were not in love just infatuation, if the latter doesn' t then we are in love with that person. OH GOD... Really confusing!!!! isn' t it???? So just 4get this question and live life freely without tension!!!! LOL.... ;-))
2006-10-02 05:37:29 · answer #5 · answered by Wild_Angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think u r the real observer!! Fantastic..n it's true i think , we actually love the feeling of being in love otherwise why should be a distraction from the person u have loved most.
2006-10-02 05:26:10 · answer #6 · answered by Viv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That all depends on you. Some people love "love". But I am a believer that we find someone and actually "love" them without regret without a second thought. If the love is "real" you'll knoiw it because its the type of love that transcends all sellfishness.
2006-10-02 05:26:49 · answer #7 · answered by KIm Z 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello seeker i really liked ur question. u r cool! ok to d point i think what ur asking depends frm person to person... it doesnt hv a unique ans. according to me we r loving d person ( physically, ie looks ) also d feelings ,respect n emotions which we've got fr our loved ones. so i believe in both .
astalivista baby!
2006-10-02 06:22:31 · answer #8 · answered by nicky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Real love is not just about the feeling, but also about what we are willing to sacrifice or give up in order for all to be happy. Its about compromise because we want our loved one to be happy as well as ourselves. having the loving feeling can be nice, but its take real love and devotion to make it all work.
2006-10-02 05:27:03 · answer #9 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth is we can only love the image we have of a person. The absolute real person is always hidden from us.
2006-10-02 05:26:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋