I'm trying to understand why my boyfriends Ex gets upset when I buy anything for her child.
It's so bad that when I do get things for his little girl I have to tell her that her dad got it for her, that way when she goes home she can keep it.
I have 2 boys with my x.his new girlfiend (wife) buys my kids things, and it don't make me mad.
2006-10-02 05:21:20 · 23 answers · asked by Tuty 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
She obviously has some unresolved issues from the relationship and hasn't quite moved on. She has some insecurities and she needs to get over them.
I would just keep doing what you are doing and telling the child that the clothes come from daddy that way she doesn't feel like her loyalties are being tried and mom doesn't keep taking things away from the kid.
2006-10-02 06:19:31 · answer #1 · answered by Cindy J 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been through all of that!! It got so bad with me that I had to keep the new things I bought them at our house so I wouldn't have to be yelled at! I still can't understand why an ex would be upset! Personally, I would appreciate the fact that my ex's new g/f thought enough about my children that they did buy them things. Some new b/f-g/f are jealous of the kids and are mean to them-so why not be happy that they love their kids? People just blow my mind sometimes.
Finally, I just chalked it up to the fact that she was maybe a little insecure and was worried that somehow I was trying to make them like me better than her! Or was jealous of the close relationship I shared with them....Crazy, but that's what I figure.
Unfortunately, I don't know what to tell you to make it easier for you. Maybe it will just take time for her to know that you really care for her little girl and are not trying to buy her love.
2006-10-02 05:38:31 · answer #2 · answered by Hestia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all how long has your boyfriend been separated from the mother of the child. That may be some of the issue. Also if you had anything to do with them splitting up it might also cause her to be upset. Most likely though it just makes her nervous for her daughter to have another female in her life. She wants her daughter to know that she is the mother and she worries that if you are always buying her daughter things that her daughter will care more about what you say and think than listening to her own mother. I understand wanting to buy her things but maybe if you make it only on special occasions it might make things better.
2006-10-02 05:27:22 · answer #3 · answered by Megan G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I can kind of see why, but she's going to have to get over it. You two may end up married, and a step-mom will eventually buy her step-kids stuff. It happens.
Most people don't want any reminder that their ex has moved on. She probably sees you buying her kid clothes as flaunting the fact that you are with her ex. To keep the peace, just keep it as low key as possible. Don't stop being kind to the child, just don't make a big deal of it.
2006-10-02 05:26:28 · answer #4 · answered by green is clean 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi Lioness, i attempted to discover "objectified" and "objectification" interior the dictionary and no exhilaration. nicely, i'm not precisely constructive I understand your queston, yet think of i might have an thought. besides, have you ever heard of the "bell curve"? it rather is a curve it is formed like a bell and does a solid activity of representing information. As for attractiveness, at one end of the curve we've the least eye-catching and on the different end the main. an identical could be genuine for earnings ... poorest on one ingredient and richest on the different. interior the process the bell we've each and every of the final persons. i think of what you're asserting is genuine, yet in simple terms in simple terms a fact of life. we've the completed spectrum for the two genders. As for why adult men do not protest ... i assume they comprehend that it rather is in simple terms the way issues are and protests are actually not likely to alter something. desire this helps!
2016-10-15 10:44:31 · answer #5 · answered by pachter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds to me like she hasnt come to terms that your a major part of her exs life.. i am with a man that has a child by his ex and we get along wonderfully she is remarried and has no falsehoods about getting back with him... re a sure her and the child that you are NOT trying to take anyones place and that you by these things because sometimes your bf doesnt have the time to go and get them you dont want to be mom to the child just a helping hand when needed... and if you by it keep it at his house dont send it home with the kids...
2006-10-02 05:58:42 · answer #6 · answered by ama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the ex needs to get over herself. She's jealous of you and afraid her daughter will like you more.
The ex I deal with expects my guy to pick up his kids on his days and go somewhere else with them instead of bringing them home. He told her were to go and that she can't tell him that he can't take his boys to his house. We live together and are about to get married. I have never been anything but nice to their boys. Plus I have 4 kids of my own. She can't stand that he spends time with my kids and can't stand that he doesn't spend the whole weekend one on one with the boys. The boys don't have a problem. Just her.
2006-10-02 05:51:37 · answer #7 · answered by mlpntr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Save the drama, keep the new clothes at your (or boyfriends) house and then she won't be able to say what you can or cannot buy for them. My husband's ex-wife buys OUR (mine and his) kids clothes and I am thankful for it! It's all in the way you take it.
2006-10-02 07:15:27 · answer #8 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn;t be mad, but my ex's new gf wouldn;t even accept a bday present for her son from me, after that I just said screw it, i am not even going to try any longer. My ex and i have kids together, so we are just kind thrown into situations together, I try to make the best of it and be pleasant, she chooses to be jealous and weird. Not my problem anymore.
2006-10-02 05:24:08 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not have any problem with my ex's girlfriend buying our son stuff. I think if it were to upset someone then maybe just keep it at his house rather then sending them home to his ex
2006-10-02 06:54:42 · answer #10 · answered by mommyh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋