I'm with the best man i've ever been with. I love him very much and i don't want to lose him, but i have my ex who i'm in love with and who claims is still in love with me...but my ex treated me terribly very abusive and is a alcoholic. I'd go to sleep with tears in my eyes while with him...but it seems that ever since i've had my boyfriend, my ex has been very jealous and tells me he loves me and misses me and that if i give him another chance he promises he'll treat me right.
i'm confused and it hurts to say no...but what should i do?
2006-10-02 05:02:07 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
hell no dont go back to him
2006-10-02 05:05:38 · answer #1 · answered by lildez83 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is alwz 2 answers to a ? Like this... u either give him a second chance or u don't. If he is an alcoholic, chances r he is not gonna keep up with his "changes" of "treating u right" 4 long... the cycle of abuse goes on..its a never ending cycle... my advice 2 u...forget abt ur x...stay with the boyfriend. If ur x couldn’t treat u right the first time n him being an alcoholic isn’t gonna make it any easy... I guess it's the fact that even thought he treated u like **** u were still with him 4 a while, more like he had control over u…now that ur gone, he has no 1 to control... n may b that’s y he wants u back...I know how u feel because u still love him n picking between 2 people u love is not easy... gurl ur beautiful n desearve to be loved n treated right..n if a guy didn’t do it the first time...he's not the right 1
Hope my advice did help..good luck n alwz remember
U DESEARVE 2 B TREATED RIGHT!!
2006-10-02 05:15:17 · answer #2 · answered by ArabianNite 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your feelings for your ex - are like when someone reminisces about the past and they don't remember how it REALLY WAS - but how they want to remember it... Your ex is like a bad addiction... You probably have a parent that is an alcoholic and abusive (or acted like an alcoholic/or some addiction). Maybe you think if you make things right with your ex - things will be good with your parent/s. This is a very subconcious thing- you are probably not aware of. YOur new man is good to you and it feels uncomfortable to you - you probably have never had any one in your life treat you with respect and love you in a true way... You just need to learn how to adjust to the new man.
If you get back with the ex you will both slip into your old patterns with each other and things will be as they were before and you will be right back to splitsville. Please think it over carefully. You don't want to lose the good thing you got now just to go back to nothing. Good luck.
2006-10-02 05:12:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am in same position. I wont go back with the ex that used to treat me bad and is now making promises that things will be alright, anyway it has made me see that if i really liked this new person, I would not even been thinking about my ex-boyfriend anymore...not even talking to him.
If it hurts to say no to another man, then I guess maybe you dont love the man you are with?....
I would say go back with ex only if you think it is worthy to handle him as he is. Dont go back placing all your hopes on the possibility that he has changed. This possibility is very small.
2006-10-02 05:07:38 · answer #4 · answered by Graça 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are too confused to make any decisions about either one of them at the moment. I'd say to date them both. That will certainly help you decide which one you LIKE better. You must like someone before you're able to decide that you actually love that person.
And if someone treats you badly, they have NO right to your time OR your love.
Please dont be foolish about such things. Have strong pride in WHO you are and how you should be treated. NEVER settle for anything less than the best! What makes you think that you can believe your X who you say treated you badly, and is an alcoholic? What makes you think he's changed? Simply because he SAYS so. Actions speak much louder than words!
Please pay strong attention to his ACTIONS....not his words!
2006-10-02 05:10:08 · answer #5 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your ex doesn't love you, he wants control over you. Did you enjoy being abused, demeaned and going to sleep in tears? I didn't think so.
Your ex is all about pushing your buttons and keeping control. He is about riding the wave of self-destruction and wants you to joy ride with him. He is a man with poor self-esteem, and the only way for him to feel better about himself is to abuse you. What is it about him that you love? Don't confuse your need for acceptance and his attention as being love. When a man loves you, he respects you, he honors you, he knows your value as a woman and human being. He will do what is in your best interests, even if it means getting out of your life, because it's better for you.
If your current boyfried is the best man you've ever been with, why would you jeopardize that for an alcoholic, abusive bully?
The answer is obvious, but here it is: You need to get counseling so you can understand you've been abused and how to steer clear of abusive relationships. You need to learn how to love yourself, regardless of if you're in a relationship or not. You need to end all contact with your ex. If it means changing your phone numbers, email addresses, whatever, YOU NEED TO END ALL CONTACT WITH HIM. YOU DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN ANYTHING TO HIM, JUST DO IT.
If you're not going to take the measures necessary to protect yourself and love yourself, then don't expect your current boyfriend to be supportive. It's not fair to him if he believes you love him, yet you carry a torch for a monster. Break up with him now.
2006-10-02 05:13:36 · answer #6 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously think about it.. Why would you risk losing a good guy, over a guy who was, and will be abusive to you? What if you break up w/ your current bf, and get back with your ex, and he starts w/ the abuse again? My ex calls me every once in a while telling me the same thing... I wouldn't give up my current bf to get back w/ that loser. If the guy you're with now is the greatest guy, trust me, you don't want to mess that up... You know what you should do...
2006-10-02 05:08:22 · answer #7 · answered by qbanita0113 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are with a wonderful man right now, why would you consider going back to someone who is abusive? Yes, the alcoholic part is terrible, too, but he hurt you. I don't know if it was physical or verbal abuse, but you are much better where you are now. He made that mistake once. Don't let him hurt you again. Get away from him. Stop answering phone calls. Don't go to places where you know he goes. You need to distance yourself from him.
2006-10-02 05:08:06 · answer #8 · answered by agentm006 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your ex is jealous that you've moved on and are happy with your life. Clearly your feelings for your ex will interfere with your current relationship. If things were that bad with your ex, why are you still in contact with him? You need to figure out what is important in your life and what you want. Maybe you should say goodbye to both of them for a while. If your current BF is the "best man you've ever been with", ask yourself, why are you with him? Giving your ex another chance...it's up to you, maybe he's changed, maybe he hasn't...you need time to figure out what you want in life...and that won't happen over night.
2006-10-02 05:08:43 · answer #9 · answered by coolguy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he treated to badly while you were together then he probably promised a thousand times that he would treat you better. He obviously didn't keep his promises because you two are not together right now. Do not pick the "fix-er-up" model boyfriend, when you have one that already works great.
2006-10-02 05:06:52 · answer #10 · answered by funnyhaha 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should forget about your ex and move on with your new boyfriend. You have been hurt once and I dont think you want to be hurt again. So move on.. dont you love our current boyfriend? he should be the only one you love especially if you say that he is the best man you have ever been.
2006-10-02 05:06:50 · answer #11 · answered by Jon 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋