My family is hard to get along with. I left my family after high school due to coming home with my things in the snow because my mother disputing dad. My family always threated to kick me out because I was the my mother twin they said. My mother never married and had two of us from the same father. My father never took care of us so I never cared for him. My mom always blamed me for him not staying around long because I told him I never will like him( I still don't) Therefore my mom never liked me. I moved got a job and lived a hard life(But worked my way up) I got married, divorced after 3 years and moved on with my life. I want my family in my new life now that I matured. I have a good career, own car, house and about to remarry. They don't agree with my relationship because THEY want me to be by myself. I want to be happy(which I am) but I want a nice wedding with not just his family for support. I want to show him were I came from, and what good they are(sometimes) Whatcha think?
2006-10-02 04:48:46 · 16 answers · asked by Pinky Stinky 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I also think im pregant. My fiancé wants my mother to be envoled but I don't want her to down me(right along with the rest of the family) we have been together for about three years and engaged for one year, about to be two. By the way my fiancé has never met anyone in my famliy.
2006-10-02 04:52:13 · update #1
Families are hard work... even the best ones.... even so, family is the most important thing in the world, but i think that if you cannot trust them, which i think you cant, then try to get them involved in your wedding a lot...
Believe, i have a hard family... but, think, if they dont want you to get married to your fiancee, then, why do you want them there ruining your special day? invite them... but dont count on them being there for you...
i know you're suffering a lot, and i get what you are going through, trust me... but think, do you want your family to be there on that day? they could ruin it.
I think you have to find happiness... even if it isnt with your family... and you have to introduce your fiance to your mom, but, dont hold high hopes, they just have to meet....
i could tell you so much more..... trust me... i know about hard families... and i got the feeling your language isnt english, so if its spanish, email me... i can be a support to you... really.
2006-10-02 10:43:47 · answer #1 · answered by Lavender Pink 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My life doesn't sound that much different from yours. Been on my own since age 15. I have now been very happily married for 13 years with three beautiful children. My children want to be a part of their grandparents lives but I know it just wouldn't be a positive situation. Very sad actually! You have to do what makes you happy. Life is way to short to worry about what family thinks and feels. If they poison your life then you get rid of them. Just have minimal contact if you are going to have any at all.
2006-10-02 11:54:24 · answer #2 · answered by copswife93 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think they have already made this decision for you. If they attend your wedding I have a feeling some drama might occur that you don't need or want on your special day. If they don't agree with your relationship then they don't need invitations. Stay positive, keep reminding yourself how far you have come - your new husband doesn't need to see graphic proof of what you've come from. Invite your friends and others who love and support you unconditionally. They are your family now.
2006-10-02 11:53:46 · answer #3 · answered by LisaT 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well good for you and going out on your own.. You have proved to your self that with hard work and alot of indurance that you can make something for yourself and are now ready to settle down.
Have you told your husband to be about your family. and how selfish they have been in your life.? I don't mean to hurt your feelings but i have the feeling that if they don't want you getting into this relationship with the new guy that they stilll aren't done watching you suffer.
Your happiness depends on what you do with your life and alone what you and your new husband will do with it..Your family will either except it or they won't..It is great that you have his famillys support. but it may take time for your family to come around.
It is not your fault that your dad didn't stay around and your mother should have never blamed you for him being gone.. he would have most likely been gone either way.. so don't worry about that anymore. you have carried that burden of hers for far to long now.. You are a grown woman that is intitled to all the happiness that you can get out of life.. and take it where you can get it.. About all i can say to try is . Tell them that if they want to be in your life with you it is there decision . tell them that the past is the past and you never want to discuss it again. it is over with and you are moving on to a new and wonderful life with your new man and you would like them to be in that life with you.. either they agree to your terms and don't cause anymore problems or they stay out of it.
sorry to be so blunt here but you really need to be happy. and your time has come..
don't let them ruin anything for you..
2006-10-02 12:05:53 · answer #4 · answered by Sandy F 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your family shouldn't want you to be by yourself. They should want you to be happy and that is all that really matters. Does your fiance know what a hard childhood you had? Maybe then he would change his tune about wanting your mom involved in things. He should respect your decision... and I mean that it is "your decision" because it is your family. Just because you are marrying this man does not mean that he will rule your life. You are still your own woman and you can make your own decisions especially when it comes to your children.
2006-10-02 14:12:44 · answer #5 · answered by hullo? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you stated you are happy ... thats the main thing . Do not bring your family into this picture cuz it sounds like the Sh*t wil lhit the fan .This you do not want, so explain to your soon to be hubby what happened and also let hi mknow he means the world ot you and you want things ot be right between you and see what happens .Good luck and remember HAPPINESS is the best thing you can have along side good friends and good company.
2006-10-02 12:01:21 · answer #6 · answered by Glenn T 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would let your mother meet your children and/or child to be in order to have a clear concience. Then tell her where to stick it.
Your mother wrongly accused you of breaking up her marriage, when in reality it was his and obviously her shortcommings that broke that marriage up. She had no business accusing a child of that. And it is obvious that she caused you prolonged grief and continued psychological ramifications by that accusation.
Tell your mother, "Meet your grandchildren and you will never see them again. Welcome to the consequences of your actions!!!"
Just be sure and don't repeat the mistakes she made with your children. Break the cycle before it gets started.
Good luck
2006-10-02 12:24:13 · answer #7 · answered by holdemfoldem911 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
And you are looking to a message board for answers?
If I were you, I'd sit down with a therapist and talk about your feelings (resolved and unresolved) before you try to welcome your family to join you in your life.
Yes, they made you feel unwelcome when you were a teen, but you didn't do anything warm and fuzzy to try and make amends before this. If you were my daughter, I would question what your REAL intentions are...
Best wishes
2006-10-02 18:14:45 · answer #8 · answered by Laurie D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go on with your life as YOU wish, not what your family wishes. It IS YOUR life and YOUR life only. If your family refuse to accept your life the way YOU want it to be, please leave them out of your new life. You deserve the best. If that means cutting our your family, so be it. It's what you want for your life that counts. Good luck.
2006-10-02 16:57:25 · answer #9 · answered by dreamer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might have to let that dream go. It's a crying shame when your mom doesn't care for you. I think it would be best if you leave them out of your current situation. Misery loves company.
2006-10-02 11:52:04 · answer #10 · answered by peach49444 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋