return my calls now that I have been diagnosed, although she has emailed & sent cards. Or is this not a true friend & it's more about their feelings??
2006-10-02 04:34:29 · 5 answers · asked by COblonde 3 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
I have been a cancer patient for the last six years and I know what you are saying is abs. what I feel. There are lot of people who you thought would stand by you vanish without even a word and the strangest part is that some of those who will stand by you are those who you least expected to.
Its a strange world but human traits are all mixed up - some shameless and heartless, others who share your pain and have a place for you in their heart.
2006-10-02 08:14:03 · answer #1 · answered by livingonthinice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that even a good friend can feel uncomfortable around a person who has been diagnosed with cancer. Since she has e-mailed and sent cards, I suspect that she is simply worried that she won't know what to say if she's around you in person. People also often feel as though the cancer is the proverbial 800-pound gorilla in the room - they feel they have to talk about the diagnosis. An excellent site that you might send to your friend (or get someone to send to her for you...!) is below. Good luck!
2006-10-02 11:44:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think many people are uncomfortable with it. Some are afraid, even though this is illogical, that it is contagious. Some don't want to see a loved one go through, it scares them to death. Seeing someone else sick has a tendency to make someone face their own mortality. Some people just don't know what to say or how to act around someone who is sick. Give her time to deal with it. Help her along, encourage her. Make her realize that you are the same person you always were and right now is a time when you could really use a friend. I think that by sending emails and cards, she does care she's just right now uncomfortable, not sure how to act, what to do what to say, or scared to death...you just need to help her along.
2006-10-02 11:45:48 · answer #3 · answered by Sunidaze 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a nurse. Sometimes people will sort of distance themsevles but please know this is NOT your fault. This person probably either has issues dealing with her own mortality or has lost someone close to her before to cancer and now fears another loss.
You can't really do anything but giver her time & space.
I'm not saying she's not a *real* friend, but you need to surround yourself w/ supporting, nuturing people right now. Give her time and in the mean time, focus your energy on getting better and being around those who are willing to meet your needs right now.
Best wishes!
2006-10-02 11:39:09 · answer #4 · answered by Girl named Sue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a real good chance she doesn't know what to say to you in person. A lot of people are better at writing - hence the emails - than talking to people. Maybe she's afraid she'll say something that makes you feel bad. Maybe she wants to see less of you so she won't miss you so much if you pass? She may still be a good friend to you, but yes, it's probably more about her feelings than yours at this point.
2006-10-02 11:43:45 · answer #5 · answered by Baby'sMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋