Atheists can you note my follow up?

Question

Okay the reason for my first poll.....

I have a good friend who has a child with such a rare disease that only 10 are recorded in history. The name is at least 50 syllables long. It is terminal.

The child is 5 years old. They are both Atheist and extremely close friends of ours.(They did blame God, however)
They say if they had have known about the disease they would have aborted and not let the child live to suffer. The doctors do not say he lives in pain.
Personally I hurt, as even though this child cannot function without assistance, it was a part of thier life they could not replace.

Now the question....
How do I convey to them the time spent with him was worth it?
Or are they correct in a "calculated" decision?

They still are and always will be great friends.

They blame God to lash out.
It is thier only vice.

Answer 1

There is no irony in their 'blaming god'. In western civilization, all that which is beyond our control is often ascribed to 'god' in a metaphorical sense (acts of god, for example, like tornados, avalanches, earthquakes, hurricanes). Their 'blaming god' is simply an expression of frustration with the universe and random chance.

As far as how to convey to them that the time they spent was worthwhile, they already know it. No moral person could think otherwise. The fact they would have aborted pre-birth is them saying, "We would have prevented this suffering of our offspring had we known about it when we could have stopped it." This would have been morally acceptable. However, that they don't post-birth abort him (aka: murder him) is proof that they find some value in their acceptance of the burden. They haven't exactly made the child a ward of the state nor abandoned him nor refused him what assistance they can give.

So instead of turning this into a christian or atheist issue -- just be their friend. Make them dinner once in a while to help ease their burden. When the child dies, don't try to validate the child's worth or lack thereof -- only they as the parents can truly know how they feel. Just validate their pain and relief that they've lost their child but it has ended his suffering.

Answer 2

The poor kid.
I'm not a believer in God, if that's what your after.
It's sad that they say that about their child. Aborting for convenience is being quite thoughtless, although it's academic now as they already have their baby. Besides, hindsight is always 20-20 vision.

People; which really matters MORE? Offering your wisdom and counsel to aid another human being, or if they blamed God, pixies, themselves - whatever, for an obviously testing situation!?They are human and as such subject to irrational emotional outbursts when distressed or anxious - Get a life people, with all this: "Ooh! We don't care about the resolving the situation or helping in any way-but their friend called them atheists and says they blame God so that doesn't make themAtheists,itmakesthembelieverssowearerightandyouarewrong!ha-HA!Toldyouso!Toldyouso!" Blah, blah, blah....

I think there's not much you can say. Unless you have personally experienced something like this from the parents perspective, one can sympathise with them, but can never truly know what they are going through.
It's a journey they are on and have to take. You may, by way of friendly discourse, aid them into realising the valuable life lessons that can be learned from adapting to new situations like this but ultimately, this is something that the parents need to discover, not to have told to them.

So perhaps you would do better by simply continuing to offer them your support and friendship, as I'm sure it is appreciated, in what is and will be a stressful and soul-searching journey for all of them.

:)

Answer 3

like a lot of others have stated..they are not truly athiest if they blame a god they claim not to believe in. As far as the child goes, they should forget choices they cannot go back and change and focus on showing that child all the love and caring they can during what little time it has left. There is really no way you yourself can convey anything, it is something they have to know within themselves.

Answer 4

terminal is not 50 syllables, wrong, the point is still how about trying to help the kid? so the kid is sick, ok not in pain ok. needs assistance, most do, ok. should be put out of misery. that is a totally different question that deals with ethics in a real world situation and needs to be somebody else's decision in this case but religion is not the answer to that one either. I hope from most of the answers you got to your first post you learnt something about actions and blamings. If they decide to terminate there will be an investigation and a likely trial. This has happened already a few years ago in Saskatchewan. They would not be facing an easy decision. I hope other people never need to make such a decision and I am glad it is not mine to make.

Answer 5

Just because they say that if they had known they would have aborted the child does not mean that they do not love the child. It just means had they known, they would not have put the child through the pain it is in.

I am sure that if they are good people they know that time spent with him is worth it. That is something every parent should know regardless of religious preference.

Answer 6

you got to be an adult and say you gave the child a chance good job

ive got a cousin whose a born again freak all talking jesus non stop and his new born daughter is in the hospital with whatever sickness preventing her from "normal"

i dont talk to him anymore i avoid talking to people if the subject always ends up being "god" cause i prefer reality,

he called about my son and we talked it was nice, but its not the same as he was years and years ago before the brainwashing got into him,

i still remember the day he said sean you have faith in a chair when you sit,

o well,

point is he is fighting for his kids life only been alive a week or whatever,

if he calls me im going to say yeah man give the kid a fighting chance if you can afford it, if not thats ok too

life happens

as for you and your friend why convince them the joy of being a parent was worth it if they dont know it something ails them thats their pain

im happy to hear you aint all up in their face with jesus

you know what you could do, is just say dude i love you and accept you

say it happens again and he and she want to abort,

all you can do - i love and accept you for you

Answer 7

How d'you know the time was worth it for them? To me, it's a saddening, maddening thing, and yes, to give the soul another chance in a better body, I would abort. Life is not life if you can't live it. I'm not atheist myself, but I wanted to put this in here. The whole god thing might be spite of the concept of god, that is that he would make something so imperfect, sadly. But, you have to understand that it's a compassionate move on the part of the child, and a smart one on practicality(I know that's very cold but we're talking about life), if they had aborted if it was known and try again. :(

Answer 8

I don't think there is any need to tell them the time they spent with him was worth it. I'm sure they will figure it out themselves and probably know it in their hearts - they are just going through an extremely emotional difficult time and are stating their frustration and pain.

Answer 9

If they blame god then by definition they are not atheists. A real atheist would not blame gods.

Unfortunately life is not fair. That is because it is the result of natural processes. All we can do is make the best of the world we find ourselves in. And make the best choices we can.

Answer 10

First of all...How can they blame someone that they supposedly do not believe even exists????Second. They need COUSELING because you've already CONVEYED the message "Time spent with him is worth it." If they need CONVINCING, then something else is wrong. It sounds like they are really suffering. Good can come from bad though...Think about it. If they are "atheists" now who blame GOD, there has been a shift in the mind. An opened door. They have gone from believing in nothing, to being angry with someone whom they now believe Exists...The process of salvation has started. God loves those who humble themselves and he will exalt them and lift up their heads, if they only believe..This is a very humbling experience, to know that you have no control over life... What you should be conveying to them is that you will be asking God to ease their pain and suffering and to bless them in spite of. Also, just keep showing them love, because in doing that you help bring them closer to him. I believe that they will eventually come to realize that God does love them, and wants the best for them and he is there to ease their pain. We just have to humble ourselves...
By the way, they made the right decision not to abort. They made the decision to bear with the child, instead of to have murder over their head for the rest of their lives....May my lord and saviour Jesus Christ be with ya'll in your time of need. May God bless and keep ya'll and make his face to shine upon ya'll...I pray he eases the pain like no one else can.