My boyfriend wants me to have his kid and Im not ready for that kind of responsibitity and I dont want to grow up just yet! I told him that,but it seemed like he got a lil bummed! how can I explain to him that I want to have his kid, but i dont wanna be a mom yet, I dont wanna have to grow up yet! I dont wanna hurt him b/c I know he really loves me, and wants me! His mom is trying to break us up so I think that is part of the reason he wants to have a baby so then he wont have to lose me! Which I got really upset b/c I felt so bad for telling himno! Should I or Shouldint I?
Thanxs
2006-10-02 04:26:57 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Even if you were a full grown adult, you should NEVER have a baby for the sake of someone else. Having a family is a big deal. I respect you for acknowledging that you're not ready. Is your boyfriend ready? Meaning, does he have a job and HIS OWN PLACE? If he's still living with his parents, not only is he not ready, but he's too immature to realize that having a baby would make his life worse. Why would you feel bad for telling him no? You're starting your relationship off wrong in the first place. You're not suppose to live your life according to what somebody else want. Assuming you still live with your parents, who would take care of the baby? He/She will split time between your parents or your boyfriends parents house? You can't spend equal time with the baby when you're in two different places. Someone is bound to have to bear more responsibility than the other. More than likely, it will be you- the mother.
If his mother has any power to break you up, your boyfriend is mentally weak. You guys sound young enough were you could still get grounded. Not only should you wait to have a baby.. you should wait to have sex. Neither one of you are ready for a family. Accidents happen. You do not want your baby to be 'an accident' in your mind. Make your own decisions for yourself, by yourself. Until you're married, you need not worry about satisfying someone else's wishes. If the guy decides he doesn't want to be with you because of your decision, guess what.. he's proven himself to not be worth your time. If this guys really want to be together, get married. I wouldn't suggest this either, though. You seem way too young.
2006-10-02 04:41:57 · answer #1 · answered by Honey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children are what I call a life changing event. Your life changes dramatically when you have kids. Here is a list of what you are going to have to do if you have this child and you are not ready for it:
1) Feed & Cloth the kid. Huge $$ responsibility
2) Nuture the kid and be a good parent. Sounds like you are not ready or mature enough for that
3) Take care of the kid all of the time. New borns are a tremendous burden on parents and require constant attention. If you and your boyfriend are not ready for this, he should keep his pecker in his pants.
4) You will have to change your social life. Gone are the days when you can sleep all day and party all night. Babies require feedings and diaper changes round the clock. You will be too tired to do anything, especially if you are a single parent. If your man is not with you, you will have to do this alone.
I could go on and on. Do yourself a favor, break up with the idiot before you regret having a kid that you are not ready for.
2006-10-02 04:41:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are very intelligent. You don't have to have a kid because your boyfriend needs a collateral to keep his relationship with you. A kid is a living being who needs mature people to take care of him or her. Indeed if your boyfriend cannot convince his mum to accept you then he will not be able to stand by you and your kid in the face of trouble. Indeed if he says he loves you he will not seek only his interest but yours too. If he is hurt because you dont want to have a kid then he he doesnt really love you as deeply as you think. Rely heavily on your conscience not on love when youre making an irreversible decision. I shall pray with you.
2006-10-02 04:42:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A child is a huge responsibility and if you don't want that kind of a deal in your life than of course you don't have to no matter what he wants! You two should especially not conceive to be able to stay together against your crazy mother in law, forget that!!!! A child should not make you'll stay together but instead the profound love each other feels. Explain your reasoning for him and if that's not good enough I truly think you don't deserve him!!!
2006-10-02 04:31:33 · answer #4 · answered by lasugarfree 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like both of you are too young to be thinking about having kids. Stick to your guns. If he wants a kid, why don't he marry you first. Besides a kid has never held a couple together.
2006-10-02 04:38:46 · answer #5 · answered by kitcat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to wait till you are married and settled before having any children. He wants you to have his child, but will he be there in the long run. Just tell him that you want to wait until marriage before having children and he doe not excpe that you need to find someone else who would be more responsible.
2006-10-02 04:39:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you want to get married before you have kids. Get married then his mom will have less of an impact on his life thus lowering his baby hungryness.
2006-10-02 04:30:20 · answer #7 · answered by Paka 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think if u really love him then u should have his kid and u can tell him by inviting him out
2006-10-02 04:42:48 · answer #8 · answered by turai 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him if he wants kids so badly let him have them.
2006-10-02 04:28:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋