What do you do when you and your sister-in-law have totally different ideas on how to raise your kids?

Answer 1

you explain to here that you will raise yours the way you want and you will not interfere with the way she raises hers.......................wait ten or 12 years ...........and then either she will gloat and say i told you so when yours turn out bad .................or you will gloat when hers turn out bad...........that's the way families do it dear.......we hold grudges!

Answer 2

I'll tell you what happened to us. My wide and I are strict parents, and enforce our rules with discipline if needed. My sister-in-law doesn't believe in spanking. She thinks it's "abuse", or whatever. Two Christmases ago, my wife had to spank our 4-year old for repeatedly being disobedient. My sister-in-law yelled at her, telling her that it was not right to spank a child, especially on Christmas. She did this right in front of our kids! My wife and I got right in her face and told her that she can raise her daughter any way she wants, but she has absolutely no say in how we raise ours. She got upset and said, "Fine. I don't have to stay here... I can leave." I told her, "go ahead", but she didn't.

Currently, we don't allow her anywhere near our daughters anymore because she has undermined our parental authority and interferred with our most important job - raising our daughters the way we see proper.

When I told her that discipline is a Biblical principal and goes back thousands of years and it still works, she responded that I should watch some of these daytime talk-shows where phychologists tell us that spanking is "bad", and that we should "reason" with a disobedient child instead. "So, Johnny, how did you feel after sticking that pencil through your sister's neck? Don't you think you should practice restraint in your actions?" Come on! There's a reason God tells us to discipline children who misbehave - it works.

Incidentally, she later told me that she almost called the cops to have us arrested that Christmas, and told me she'd certainly have us arrested if she ever saw us "beating" the kids again. Her statements just confirmed that not allowing her around the girls anymore was the proper decision.

Answer 3

I know EXACTLY how you feel I have a sister in law just like you!!
Both parties involved meaning you and her need to realize that she does things her way and you do yours your way and there is nothing you can do if she doesn't agree with the way you do things just tell what I stated above!
people do things differently and it is just a fact of life that people are different in many ways Inlcuding the way we raise our children
she was raised different than you were so of course you will have different views and when we have our own children we do things different then when we ourselves were raised!
Good Luck and tell her to mind her own business

Answer 4

You don't do anything. You raise your kids the way you know is best for your family. In situations when you're together with SIL and her kids, you still need to make sure your kids are in line with how you are raising them. If it's a matter of her kids can do this but your kids can't, that's just life. Kids understand. Just explain to your kids that in their (your) family, you do things this way. Even when very young, kids get that.

Answer 5

Keep your nose out of how she is doing it and ask her to do the same. Your kids will soon understand that there are different rules in different houses so don't stop your kids playing with their cousins. Just stick by your rules in your house.

You can't choose your family but it is in everyone's best interests to get on so try and work out how you are going to do this. Talk to your sister in law about it.

Answer 6

I wouldn't worry about how your sister-in-law raises her kids. Just raise yours the way you want to.

Answer 7

First of all this is a common problem that all of us moms run into. The biggest thing is not to question her parenting techniques and she probably won't question yours. Everybody has there own way of doing things. Hopefully neither one of you allow your children to behave in a dangerous or damaging way. As long as no ones kids are hurting themselves or anyone else just let it go. It's a fight you will never win. Just deal with it and remember that everyone does what they think is best for their children even if YOU don't agree.

Answer 8

You should ignore her and raise your kids the best way you see fit. She really has no right to have input on how you run your family.

Answer 9

avoid,avoid,avoid... If your children are to follow Your rule/expatiation's then you must hold your self responsible for those you expose then to. If you can't find an understanding with this s-i-l then make time to be at family events when she will not even if that means Happy day after Christmas. If the kids are most important then act like it.

Answer 10

As long as you two are not infringing upon one anothers family then you do nothing except raise them the way you feel is best.

Answer 11

They are your children, Raise them the way you see fit. As long as they are brought up in a proper manner it is not any of her business.