does any other mothers out there feel like their children don't like them?

Question

i love my children very much and stay at home with them. they are twins and 16months old. as of late they fight me on everything from feedings to getting in thier car seats to changing a diaper. i never let them see me get angry because i believe they will feed off of that type of response... but it is not working. i realize this is them trying to gain independence but they do not act this way with their father, aunts or grandma/grandpa. they are perfect angels for them. just last night my husband said "they really don't like you do they?" b/c they were pushing me away when i was trying to hold them. they let him hold them. i play with them, take them to the zoo, apple orchard, park, read them books, sing and dance not to mention feed, bathe etc. do they treat me this way because i am always with them and am thier mother? does anyone else feel like their kids don't like them? am i taking it too personal? i am pretty sensitve!

Answer 1

I feel you.... I have two, a girl and a boy, 9 and 8 respectively. Our son, is a mama's boy so he shows me love in every way he can, hugs and 'I love you's'. If he gets into trouble and I have to get on him for it, it hurts his heart.

As for our daughter.... That girl hates me. No matter what I say or do, she thinks that I am meaner to her than her brother. The only way the child believes that I care is if I give into her wants and desires, which does not happen very often. This started at a young age. My husband says it is because she is a young me and to wait until she becomes a teenager, then it will explode. I can hardly wait (LOL). I try to be understanding with her and spend time with her. My husband says, just be patient, she will eventually come around.

For you, try spending a little bit of time away from them, Mommy's day out? They will most likely miss you and calm down a bit. I am not saying that this is going to go away... It could get worst before it gets better, take it from another mother who has one.

Answer 2

I hate to say this... well actually, no I don't hate to say this, because it's true.

Your husband was an insensitive asshole for saying such a thing to you and setting you off on a tangent in your mind that simply is not true.

You have 16 month old TWINS for Christ sake. Take it easy on yourself!

NOT showing them the fact that you are losing your temper, which is perfectly natural and goes completely against human behavior, is probably what is confusing them. If you agree that they are testing boundaries. How can they ever know if they have reached yours if you never let them know it?

Remember, twins have a special bond and WILL gang up on anyone that tries to mess with their sense of togetherness or independence.

Remember above all else... THEY are the children and YOU are smarter... I think?

Approach it with reason and intellect and remove emotion from the equation and you'll have a clear view of the situation not clouded by either your own insecurity or the contribution of your husbands infinate stupidity for saying such a thing to a stressed out mother ganged up on by twins!

He should ALWAYS be ON YOUR SIDE... and that should be discussed before it too get's out of hand. Start acting like the goddess you are babe and quit letting people walk on you.

"You teach people how to treat you."

Answer 3

Put on your "tough mom" boots. (at least for show, cry later when they can't see) As the mom of 6 kids, this is just the first of the many "Mom sucks" stages. You need to realize that your husband is just jealous that you get to spend the quality time with them and he "wishes" they didn't like you. Truth is: they are probably just so used to you that it's a nice change of pace for someone else to take care of them. My 13 year old daughter is at the stage: "My mom is such a witch. She doesn't know anything and I don't have to pay attention to what she says. She thinks she knows EVERYTHING, when she doesn't." That is just a portion of how she acts. Keep in mind, all of these stages are just that; stages. Only temporary. Most important, do not change what you are doing, in the end...they will love you more for it.

Answer 4

Boy, if you think this is bad wait till the little angels are in their teens.
What your husband said really put salt in the wound, burn his dinner tonight. Moms tend to invest a lot of thermselves in their kids and you naturally send all sorts of nonverbal signals to them that say how upset and nervous their behavior is making you, thats why your not getting angry is not working, they know how tense you are. Think of this as good practice for those teen years when that growing up testing is really in full battle cry. You are a good mother, and you love them and your children will appreciate this when they grow up and become mothers of their own children. But don't look for appreciation before that and you will be fine.

Answer 5

I think it is human nature to take things for granted, even for babies. My daughter is very independent and pushes me away and prefers other people in everyday situations but when it all comes down to it I am still "Mommy" and now that she is older she tells me she loves me most even if she doesn't always act that way.

It sounds like you have two healthy outgoing and social children. Don't be sensitive, I know that is easier said than done, I am very sensitive too, but when it comes to your children you have to put them above your sensitivity. If they are happy when someone else holds them, be happy they are happy and not clinging and afraid. I feel the little tinges when my little one prefers someone else, but I just smile and be glad that my girl is happy.
You will always be "mommy" don't worry, be happy.

Answer 6

you will desire to tell her the way you sense. you will desire to commence making grownup desicions now and being collectively for the sake of a youngster isn't a solid one. as long as you're being a guy and looking out after your baby in all approaches accessible, then she cant shop him from you. interior the long-term, the toddlers are people who are suffering whilst they are brough up in a loveless relationship, marriage,and so on. you're a father now and his life relies upon on you and his mom. She won't like the assumption of having her toddler around your ex and you will desire to understand her desires as a mom and she or he has to do an identical for you. those are the varieties of circumstances that adults attempt to shield their young ones from whilst they are youthful because of the fact being youthful, you dont comprehend the vast photograph. Now, there's a baby who desires there mothers and fathers to return to three style of contract interior the superb activity of the youngster. FYI- in case you're desirous to be back with your ex, understand what you're starting to be your self into now that there is a baby in contact. in case you do come again collectively and you ensue to have your son with you and a few thing is going down together with her, you youngster is now in contact and it would desire to probably get grotesque!!!! So make smart judgements for you toddler.

Answer 7

I have four children. All of them have gone through this stage. It is only a stage.
They are with you all the time, they are forging their independance from you. All children come to a decision to divide and conqueor.
You are not their friend. You are their mom. It is time to get stern with the little "angels" and put them in their place.
Let them know that you and dad are boss. Dad is #1 in your life, and they come second. Dad also needs to let kids know that you are #1 in his life.
When he comes home, he should greet you first and hold you for 15 minutes or so while the children wait.
They wont like this at first, but it will reinforce that mom and dad are on the same team and in order for them to get anything they want, they have to conform to the mom/dad team.

Answer 8

It'll hurt a little but it works:

Take them to a childcare playground a couple of days a week for about a month or two. They will begin to miss you and appreciate you, and also they will begin to feel good about staying home instead of going out all day. Usually you'd wait 'till pre-k to do it, but it's kind of dangerous that they act like they don't love you, because remember: Kids Can't Act.

Answer 9

Yes i have a 15mth old who is the exact same way.The reason they seem to love daddy more is b/c daddy is not there the way mommy is.Daddy does not do everything for them mommy does.They do really love you & believe me when they need something you will be the first person they will relie on.I know it hurts your feelings sometimes i am the same way,but they love & need you more than you can imagine.Let daddy do things for them when he can.They will enjoy it & you should too!!

Answer 10

i would be a lot more annoyed at what your husband said.... "they really dont like you do they?" it would really burn me up.......... kids or babies act that way sometimes... sometimes people have very easy going babies and sometimes they dont... i know my niece was a handful when she was younger... and acted like what you described. im sure they will grow out of it and you shouldnt worry too much about it.