Why do people assume if the mom works, she's throwing her kids into daycare all day?

Question

Lots of moms work, but their kids aren't in daycare. Alot of couples work opposite shifts, so either parent is always with their child/children. And I don't agree with those people who think fathers can't do as good a job as mothers, that's ridiculous. Lots of fathers love thier children just as much as the mothers, if not more sometimes.

I just wanted to add, I don't think there is anything wrong with daycare at all. I don't get what society's huge paranoia about daycare is either. (Sorry I try to pick one focal point for each question)

Answer 1

most people while making assumptions they don't want the other persons life story. they just want to make up things, that may or may not be true, and they just don't care what they are saying.
think about it as stereo typing. some people just obviously have no manors toward others.

Answer 2

Because they are. Its not "throwing" though, its a decision that has to be made and the best accomodations found. Shift work isn't always available and, at least to date, the kids can't take care of themselves so its either a school type daycare or some home arrangement with a babysitter or au pair, since Grandma is at work nowadays too. If mom is working a full time job then the child has full time daycare or no care. Father can certainly do a good job with their kids, but realistically they are either working day jobs or have irregular hours. I do think this country should do more to encourage good daycare since sooner or later we all need it.

Answer 3

Hey Girl,

I think it really depends on the family but here goes the facts:

If you do "split shifts", one of you is bound to work harder than the other. If you think about it, while one has to be with them morning, afternoon and evening, the other one just puts them to bed and if they do their job, make breakfast. The one that's with them MUST sleep sometime, so either way there's a gap where the kids aren't going to be watched and all sorts of things could happen during that period. Usually the one doing the 9-5 is the dad, and although I don't think a dad is unable to perform child-raising duties, I also don't think it's fair for the mom to work all day with the kids, try to get sleep (and I stress TRY), make diner and on top work all night. Besides, think about the time they'd see each other, 1-2 hours a day and if they're lucky to get the same off-days. This WILL affect any relationship, and in the end is more harmful to kids than taking them to daycare and seeing a close family during the rest of the day. It would definately be financially cheaper to do it yourselves, but the trade-off is huge and if the reason you're doing it is for the kids... then it'd be better if you don't even work at all. Hope it all works out for you, but check the facts girl. T/C.

Answer 4

As I worked in a pre school and after school day care program, It is common for single parents to need to have an environment they know that their children are being take care of during their shift/classes.

I just do not agree with leaving a child at the center from 8am-6pm. It is stressful on the child and also leaves stress on the staff in comforting the child.

It is one of those situations where I understand, but recommend to change the schedule so the child doesn't have to be their 5 days a week for 10 hours straight etc. Due the their schedule, only a select few have adjustable schedules where they can spend an hour or so with their child at the center.

As for as working parents who are together, I don't assume that they are in day care. The married or together parents who have one or more children at the center switch shifts often and are very involved with their child's development (comes in the center, checks on them, helps with activities, take them home early etc).

Some families are able to juggle it and some are not.

The only issue I have his leaving their child at the center all day from open to closing, not checking in on the child nor finding other solutions. It is really hard to explain to a child when asked "why mommy or daddy keep me here?" I explain work and school. but a 4 and 5 year old don't have the adult concept of what working and school is in the adult world. I also have to word it so I will not say something the parents will be offended as well.

Answer 5

Yes... there is a small percentage of parents who work opposite shifts so they can raise their children in a loving environment. But, the majority do not. They put their children in daycares so they can be hurded like cattle. I have 3 children and currently stay home with them because of the disfunction of daycares. We tried the opposite shift thing for a while but that didn't work out very good for us. Then I decided to be the "norm" and put them in a daycare because I was told of all the positive attributes of them. Sooo... I put my children in a very highly recommended daycare. It was difficult to get my children in. But, I succeeded and after about a month I decided to take them out. Why? because my 10 month old was being bitten on a regular basis by a 3 year old... My 28 month old was crying every morning hating to go there and when I would drop her off she seemed terrified of the day care worker that was there in the morning. (I should add that my children are very well behaived. I receive compliments and disbeliefs all the time.) I then tried an at home caretaker and that worked beautifully until she moved due to her husband's work transfer. So then I decided that it was "that" daycare that I had a problem with and enrolled my daughters into a different one. They loved it!!! They were excited to go for about the first 3 months. And then they started the withdrawl and crying episodes. My 3 year old at that time clung to me and told me of a little boy that takes her clothes off and licks her where she pees. I talked with the staff and of course didn't take my children anymore. The end result...?... The staff and the boy admitted that this was happening but the director informed me that this kind of thing is not uncommon and that she would more than likely forget about it. I was concerned about the 5 year old boy because something abnormal obviously happened to him and although Department of Child and Family services was notified and a report was made the day care remained opened. And although everyone was in agreement that this was happening and not just with my daughter... there were others... DCFS decided it was unfounded. Hmmmmmm....? Makes you wonder why we even have such a government agency. They allowed the daycare to remain open even though these acts were taking place (they obviously weren't being supervised or were encouraged to do these acts) and our government allowed them to stay open and be run by a woman who thought it was no big deal. You'd be surprised what types of things actually go on in daycares when those babies mamas are working. I apologize for taking so much space. It just bothers me that some think daycares aren't so bad. There will always be exceptions but the workers at these facilities don't love our children. It's just a paycheck. Similar to the majority that work in nursing homes. The children and elderly don't have much defense. I applaud you for not putting your children in an institution during the years that they need love and guidance. Good luck to you and God bless!

Answer 6

See now I just posed a question about why stay at home moms are not thought of as having a real job, this does not mean that I think less of those who have to work. And no not all working parents put their children in day care. There are many common miss conceptions out there. Some of those being Stay at home moms don't work and working moms are letting day care raise there children. I think that as long as the children are happy and healthy the rest of those know it alls should mind their own business,or at least walk a a mile in what ever shoes the people they are criticizing are wearing.

Answer 7

I think its just an assumption that both parents work day shift since so many people do. I dont think there is anything wrong with a child going to day care though. If you find the right one it will benefit your child. They learn social skills, how to be independent, and it gets them ready for school. Also a child who has been in daycare will build his/her immune system and by the time they enter elementary school are rarely getting sick, but a child who is not exposed to other children and illnesses start elementary school and will get repeatedly sick building their immune system, which will force them to miss more school.

My son has always been ahead in school because of the great foundation they built when he attended daycare. They got him on the track to love learning and its been with him ever since.

Answer 8

i have two children ages almost 2 and 3 and a half. they are great and i am a stay a home mom. but i would not recomend it to everyone. i love being with my children all day my husband works a nine too five and i have friends that are stay at home moms too. but it would be hard if i was alone and not able to talk to anyone at all. i also watch my sisters little girl before and after school. so i know that there are other things you can do besides daycare,

Answer 9

that's so confusing to assert!! that's loopy how they're all waiting at such diverse cases. My own memories were completely diverse. My first i develop into caused at 39 weeks 6 days via topics. 7 a million/2 hours in to dilate 2 a million/2 pushing. Gave beginning to an 8lb 2oz little female. My 2d i develop into also caused at 36 weeks via heavy bleeding yet when I went in they monitored me for an hour and that i develop into contraction each and every 5 minutes so that they suggested i develop into starting up. They broke my water and it develop into a million a million/2 hours. I gave beginning to 5lb 14oz toddler boy. I also had preterm confusing paintings with him from 25 weeks on. at the moment pregnant with my third. i'm 35 weeks, no dilation and so some distance in elementary words one scare of confusing paintings! This guy seems more suitable than content fabric and that i wish for a minimum of a on the point of complete time period toddler yet i'm very curious even as he will come :) How lengthy were your labors? How huge were your toddlers/sexes?

Answer 10

It's assumed because most kids are in daycare if the mother works. It's not a crime to assume.