i do mea very funny quote that would make me laugh i have had an awful weekend i do mean totally funny and one you would tell for your mother if they were a church going woman so to speak
2006-10-02 03:54:31 · 2 answers · asked by skyppolar_green 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
"I'm full of good ideas, like a light bulb that only shines on things
worth looking at....."
---George Carlin---
"How come you drive on a parkway, and park in a driveway?"
---Jerry Seinfeld---
"Usesless inventions..... like air conditioning on a motor cycle"
---George Carlin---
"Be nice to your children; they decide your retirement"
---Phillys Diller---
"Me watching my language is like putting a lampshade in a whore house"
---Phillys Diller---
Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people "the cops." But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!
---Dave Attell---
Obviously I'm not too picky if I got into Caddyshack 2 and a few other clunkers out there.
---Dan Akroyd---
Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
---tim allen---
Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison.
---tim allen---
Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.
---tim allen---
Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead.
---Lucille Ball---
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
---Lucille Ball---
2006-10-02 04:27:28 · answer #1 · answered by Jenster*is*flipping*you*off 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Remember without stupidity there can be no wisdom and without ugliness there can be no beauty... so the world needs you after all!"
2006-10-02 04:05:06 · answer #2 · answered by Ash 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋