A friend, her husband, baby and 3 1/2 little boy came to stay with us for the weekend while her husband helped my husband build our fence. Their little boy is often naughty and gets punished either with a scolding, time out or Daddy's belt. The little boy has been out of diapers for less than 2 months and I'm now finding out that soon after being punished is wets his pants. His parents believe that this is not an accident but an act of defiance. So, now he gets punished for that. First the punishment for wet pants is bathtime since he hates it. Then one night while at our house, the little boy misbehaved, got scolded, wet his pants and then was spanked while being put into the tub. In general I believe they are good parents trying to deal with a child who has been having behavioral problems since he was 18 months old. However, I think they are punishing him for having an accident. What do you think? Could he be trying to get back at his parents?
2006-10-02 03:26:10 · 13 answers · asked by audmom 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Let's not go off on the "Don't Spank" subject. I totally agree with all of you about never spanking my child and have try to get that point across to my friend for a long time. FYI the belt only came out after he was warned and the crime was hitting, pushing or throwing something at another child. However, that's another thread all together and I really am just trying to find out if a little child would actually wet themselves on purpose to spite their parents. This wetting first started occuring when he was simply told he couldn't do or have what he wanted.
2006-10-02 03:50:19 · update #1
I am guessing you have never raised a young boy. He knows exactly what he is doing. He is mad at them and he knows what trigger to use.
He is not too young to be spanked especially is he so out of control. The parents need to be sure they are not expressing anger when giving him discipline. A reward system would be an incentive to not wet his pants.
Too many people have jumped on the child abuse band wagon when kids are spanked. You even believe the friends are good parents. Physical punishment should only be used in cases of defiance or deceit. Perhaps they spank too often but if the child does not have bruises then he is okay.
2006-10-02 03:43:38 · answer #1 · answered by lofolulu 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, a symptom of trauma and abuse and/or the only thing he has any control over. How sad that a 3 year old is being spanked with a belt. Parents putting a little too much emphasis on their control and not enough on the fact that children develope at their own rates. It wouldn't hurt to get the child tested for behavioral or other problems by a child psychologist/psychiatrist instead of assuming his pants wetting is an act of defiance.
2006-10-02 03:33:24 · answer #2 · answered by t79a 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think the parents should take a course in parenting. If this toddler is wetting his pants I believe he has emotional problems brought on by abusive parents. The parents should be reported for using "daddy's belt" and for spanking the kid in the bathtub. I work with abused children and I know that without intervention, this child will grow up problematic.
This kid is not being defiant. He's crying out for help. do you have the courage to intercede on behalf of this hapless child?
2006-10-02 03:38:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all the belt needs to go away! What is with this capital punishment crap? It's horrible. What about positive reinforcement? I have a five year old and can tell you that kids make mistakes....going to the bathroom or otherwise. He is just a baby. I think the kid has behavioral problems because of the crazy parents! He wets his pants from being scared that he is going to be beaten....what sickos!!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-02 03:37:47 · answer #4 · answered by Cheri 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he is being abused. NO child should be punished for wetting their pants....even if it is defiance. I am not suprised the kid wets his pants especially after being scolded, he is frightened and scared....this is going to continue to happen unless the WHOLE family gets some serious counseling!! I believe from what you wrote, this child is being abused. Poor little boy, kids are kids and they will test your limits as a parent but I don't believe they should be punsihed for every little thing they do.....and if you do decide to punish, why not do time out, take somethings away he enjoys playing with, etc....no need for physical punishment like that...That is pushing the limit.
2006-10-02 03:30:36 · answer #5 · answered by bradnmich2003 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No that is not an act of defiance.
A 3 1/2 year old does not understand the punishment, only the pain.
It is happening because he is terrified.
They are not good parents, they are abusers and don't know it.
The behavioural problems are learned behaviour. They did not just appear.
If he gets punished before the bath, it is no wonder he hates that time of day.
They need information. Fast.
If they refuse I personally would get child services involved.
This can and may escalate when he gets older.
2006-10-02 03:37:23 · answer #6 · answered by dyke_in_heat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think i would call child protective sevices...
under NO circumstance do you hit a child with an object...and under NO circumstance do you punish a child for having an accident.
i'm SURE that the reason he wets his pants after being scolded is because he's scared. i'd piss myself if i got beat with a belt too...
2006-10-02 03:38:00 · answer #7 · answered by alfjr24 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yep my child used to do this for about a month... every time we would out him to bed... and he didnt wanna go he would wet himself just enough so he would have to be changed.. giving him more time NOT in bed(cause we had to change the sheets n stuff) he would some times do it multiple times ina nite.... He stopped tho, soon after he started..thankfully.
Opps i missed some of this Q.... if hes being beaten for this behavior thats not called for and yes call protection services.
2006-10-02 03:38:13 · answer #8 · answered by Crystal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The poor child is doing this because of his nerves, which they are destroying quickly. They should NEVER hit him with a belt or anything else either. You should talk to them about that ~ it's child abuse.
2006-10-02 03:29:21 · answer #9 · answered by Pretty Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They're beating their 3 year old with a belt? He probably wets himself because he's so scared of them...
2016-03-11 09:29:43 · answer #10 · answered by Hannah 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋