Why do people think cleaning the home and raising children is a job/career?

Question

I thought those things were life's responsibilites. Many women work 40 + hours a week and still clean, cook, raise children, etc. I'm sorry but I think if I didn't have to work at my job 40 + hours a week every week, I'd have it made! I rush every day before work to clean, cook, walk the dog, pay the bills, etc. I get it done. Those are just part of life, not a 'job'. If I didn't have to work, think how much more free time I'd have!

I'm really just tired of hearing how 'hard' stay at home moms/dads have it - let's talk about how hard moms/dads who have to work to survive AND have to take care of the kids, the house, the animals, the bills, etc. They have the harder time, IMO!

Well after reading everyone's (really harsh)comments, I guess I can now see why some people call caring for the home/raising children as a 'career'. But I still think it's a responsibility of life. It's your responsibility to raise your children. I do not however, see how anyone can say that raising your kids while NOT working is HARDER than raising your kids while working. To each their own I guess.

Oh I did want to say thank you to the couple of you who actually DID read my question for what it was! I asked why people thought of it as a career, because I had always viewed it as a responsibility of life. Was I down playing parenting? NO! Obviousy parenting is a difficult responsibility, but I still can't compare it to a career. A career is something you get paid for, you can quit, change, etc. - I don't put parenting in that same concept, but others do. I was just asking for other's opinions. Love how others are so quickly to attack me for things I wasn't even saying. But once again, thank you to the mature people who actually read my quesiton.

Answer 1

i view it as a job. i may not get paid money, but i get paid by watching my children grow up and knowing that things are taken care of in my home. sometimes i think it would be nice to go back to work but that's not in the cards for me right now. kudos to all those working moms and dads out there you guys have two full time jobs.

Answer 2

I am a stay at home mom and I think one key thing that is missing from this question and answer is this. When you leave in the morning and come home in the evening your life is obviously busy...no one is questioning that. That obviously means that either your kids are of school age or they go to daycare. That is the key difference. You consider someone who runs a daycare to have a career. That is what it is two take care of your own children all day. It is the same thing. Its not like I'm a stay at home mom for three hours in the morning and five hours at night and I send my kids to daycare the rest of the time. I am responsible for them one hundred percent of the time. The issue of whether its a career or not seems silly. Whether you agree or not raising your kids is one of the most important jobs in your life. If you have the means to raise your kids without the help of others and you choose to do so I think it is great. There are many people that either can't or don't want to raise their children without the help of other family memebers or day care. That's fine too. What does it matter as long as the kids are in a loving environment. Why do moms have to constantly second guess one another. What I ask of you is if you were in my shoes and read the question you posed...how could you not feel attacked and offended? I understand what you're trying to say but you should also understand how a SAHM might feel when reading that. As far as having more free times if you have kids of school age that might be somewhat true. If you have kids at home all the time you wouldn't have anymore free time then you do now. In fact you would have less. There are no smoke breaks or lunch breaks when you are a stay at home mom. Just something to think about.

Answer 3

I don't consider it a career but it is the most unappreciated responsibility going. I think this is why some do think of it as a career. Responsibilities are just that, careers get respect.

I spend the day entertaining, cleaning, feeding, teaching, and disciplining an active 2 year old. Then my 13 year old daughter comes home from school and I get to deal with her attitude and negativity. Keep 2 year old occupied while trying to cook supper and recall basic algebra while 13 year old resists any help that does not include actually giving her the answer. Only to have Mr. Negative come home and focus on the one thing that was left undone (a crayon mark on the wall or the dog needs to go out at just that moment).
It isn't a hard job nor is it unpleasurable. I focused on the negatives here to make my point because I do love being a SAHM. But it does help to get some recognition and respect from the one who should appreciate it most.
SAHM, WAHM, WM - whatever. Why does it have to be a competition?

Answer 4

Well it is a responsibility to take care of the house and children. But why is it that most people would say that moms are the ones that do all of this.?? Because we do.. men normally don't do much of the house work and taking care of the kids because it is not their JOB! I admire the dads out there that do but reality is that regardless if the mom has a full time job, part time job, or no job, it is more their responsibility to have a clean house, food on the table when dad gets home and on top of this take care of the children ALL day 24-hrs (all night too)! So it is harder then going to a job where you sit and work on a computer (with no kids) or even work at Walmart, cashiering (with no kids)! Give mothers some praise! We work hard 24/hrs 7 days a week to keep things together (think about the mothers who have kids in sports too...) !!

Answer 5

I don't think the work itself is in question...your right life is life and we all have responsibilities. I have been lucky enough to be on both sides of this question...when my kids were little I was working 50+ hours a week because I had to. Then we got lucky, moved to another state and I got to be a housewife for the first time. I was amazed at the attitude I got because I didn't have a "real" job. And there in lies the problem it is truly all about attitude. We should treat others as we would be treated and quit judging people for what they "DO". What a person does or does not do or where they work does not define what kind of person they are or what they can contribute. Being at home, taking care of my kids, the pets, the house, volunteering with the school, and Girl Scouts as far as I was/am concerned should be valued. And if you work it shouldn't matter where as long as you do an honest day's work for an honest day's wage. So don't belittle the neighbor that works at Burger King or Walmart either!

Answer 6

I totally agree with you. I am a SAHM and I'm proud of all the work I do. You've read my question and know my situation. You are right. Being a SAHM isn't "work" it is a "responsiblity." I think of myself responsible for doing just as hard of a job as my husband does at work--it not more. I make sure he doesn't have to come home to a dirty home. I make sure when he is at home he doesn't have to worry about paying bills or vaccuming. I want him to be able to come home and play with our son--with no worries on his mind. I'm not doing this because he is a man. It's not about me being inferere to him at all. When I even go out by myself--he (most of the time) doesn't leave the house for me to clean.

All of this mumbo jumbo about "Well we both made the baby so it is both our responsibility." Yes--it is. He is going to work and providing for me so that I can purchase clothing, so that I can get my son a new highchair, and so that we can live a semi-comfortable life. If I was working--and made more money then him--I would want him to stay at home. I would want him to do the same things I am doing now.

It's not a anti-feminist thing to clean the house when you are home all day long. It's an anti-feminist thing to ***** about what you have to do--and still not get anything done. It is an anti-feminist thing not to do anything in a day but sit on your (not you--just some SAHM in general) lazy ***. I don't think I should have to bow down to a man. I also don't believe a man should bow down to me. We have equal work loads. He stresses about planes that he is working on. I stress about the gunk in the bathtub that still won't come up--with EVERY cleaning product I've tried.

I am not sure if this all makes sence or answers your question. I guess I went off into a rant!

Please understand I'm using the words "job" and "work" for a lack of better vocabulary.

Answer 7

Now you have me curious. Do you think that your children teachers and daycare workers don't have real jobs? We made a lot of materialistic sacrifices for me to stay home with the kids. It is important to us since my husband is in the military and frequently away. Me being home provides stability and routine for the kids. It is not like we sit at home all day doing nothing. My oldest is in school, then there is dance, swimming, playgroup, parent classes, museums, zoo, etc. I am out of the house 4 mornings a week, leaving one morning for errands and my volunteer work (I install car seats to keep other people's children safe) I most likely need to clean more often than you do, because we are in the house more, empty houses do not get as dirty. All of this is completely beside the point though. If you are happy with your life why do you care what others are doing with theirs and whether or not they find it difficult? I have found that people who are happy and content with their decisions and life are more accepting of others. Maybe you need to take a good look at your own life and make sure that you are happy and satisfied.

Answer 8

Because the grass is always greener on the other side, no matter what.
I personally love staying home with my babies. I wouldn't take anything in the world for being able to see the first smile and the first "out loud" laugh, because they were at me! ;)
I work about 20 hours per week, and I do it all, too. I'm just thankful I have such a wonderful family. I go to work when my husband gets home, so one of us is always with our children.
Not dismissing how hard it is, because when you do it right, it IS a full time job. If you find more free time in this job, trust me... it's spent. You never have a minute to yourself to relax...IF you do it right.
BTW... imagine walking three dogs. That's like one kid. I know...I have both.

Answer 9

when you are at work you at least get breaks and a lunch hour! I'd kill for a free hour during the day! Yes, I stay home but I used to work and take care of the home and kids. It was easier when I worked as I was more organized and I did get a break from the same old routine at home. I also had more appreciation for my home and family during that time. Plus you have to think that someone else is raising your kids all day. They get to change their diapers, potty train them, teach them to talk, break up the fights, listen to the whining, see their first steps, get them down for naps, etc. It's a battle no matter what a mom chooses to do. No sense in arguing over whose job is harder. How about a mutual respect? I hear lots of stay at home mom's say negative things about working moms.... there is no right answer....

Answer 10

The decision to have a child is a personal one. (No doubt there are many accidents) Once that decision is made looking after the child and assuring its survival as well as its success in life is the responsibility of the people who brought it into the world. They cannot expect trophies for doing what every parent for millions of years have done. Yes, it's hard work, but so is commuting everyday to a factory or office to do a job that may not be so exciting or stimulating, just to pay the rent. Having a big chunk taken out for taxes doesn't help one's attitude either.